Authentic Relationships

Wayne Jacobsen, Clay Jacobsen

Description

In a culture that promotes isolation and autonomy, this book reveals life-changing methods for creating healthy relationships and authentic community. Readers learn to apply New Testament principles that capture the essence of Jesus' teachings about effectively caring, serving, and loving one another. Beginning with God's simple command to "Love one another," this book shows how to:* develop deep, genuine friendships* model to others a relationship with Jesus* create meaningful interaction with strangers* avoid the pitfalls of judging others* show people love, acceptance, kindness, and respect Complete with discussion questions, this book is appropriate for both individuals and church groups. It is a must for all Christians who wish to practice being the church rather than merely attending one.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 septembre 2003
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781585581542
• Langue: English

Extrait

authentic relationships
Other Books by Wayne Jacobsen
He Loves Me!
In My Father s Vineyard
The Naked Church
Tales of the Vine
Pathways of Grace
Other Books by Clay Jacobsen
Interview with the Devil
Circle of Seven
The Lasko Interview
authentic relationships
discover the lost art of one anothering
WAYNE JACOBSEN CLAY JACOBSEN
2003 by Wayne Jacobsen and Clay Jacobsen
Published by Baker Books a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.bakerbooks.com
E-book edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-for example, electronic, photocopy, recording-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-5855-8154-2
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture marked NASB is taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE . Copyright The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995. Used by permission. www.lockman.org
Scripture taken from T HE M ESSAGE , copyright by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, is used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
dedications
M y wife and I were in Australia four years ago when our good friend Ben Tarren brought up the idea of writing a study guide on the concepts of one anothering that I had woven throughout my first novel. His suggestion led to my participation in the book you now hold in your hands. I gratefully thank you, Ben, for planting the seed.
And to Cindy, my wife and my deepest one anothering partner on this journey-I thank you for helping me with the writing and for sharing your passion about these principles. I m grateful for your pushing me to see Ben s idea finally come to fruition.
Clay
To the past and present board members at Lifestream who have one anothered Sara and me through the best and worst of times, I thank you for your words of encouragement, wise counsel, prayers, personal support, and rich friendship: Rich and Sheila Artis, Ron and Jen Brisco, Paul and Louise Gutierrez, Jim and Margaret Oliveras, Nelson and Shannon Schwamb, Nick and Julia Sembrano, and Phil and Sheri Shannon.
Wayne
We also want to express our thanks to Vicki Crumpton and all the incredible staff at Baker Books who made this project a better book than we ever could have produced on our own.
Wayne Clay
We have found that cowritten books can often be disruptive for the reader when the authors try to identify who made what contributions. Wanting to avoid that here, we have chosen to present the material seamlessly as if the words flowed from the mind of only one author. Suffice it to say that this work represents the combination of our passion, wisdom, and experiences, and the I in this book may refer to Wayne or Clay or to our combined work. We did not think it important to make that distinction throughout and by not doing so hoped to model the one anothering we wanted to share with you. Also, we have on occasion changed the names of people in our illustrations to protect their identities whenever confidentiality was warranted, but they are nonetheless true stories of the simple power and joy of one anothering.
contents
Dedications
Preface
1. Escaping the Loneliness Trap
Part 1: Starting Inside
2. Loving Others like God Loves You
3. A Soft Place to Fall
4. It s Not All about You
Part 2: Opening the Door
5. Initial Contact
6. Sharing God s Kindness
Part 3: Sharing the Journey
7. Lightening the Load
8. Cheerleading
9. Pooling Our Wisdom
10. Taking It to God
Part 4: For Mature Relationships
11. The Genuine Article
12. Partnering in the Journey
13. Treasures Waiting to Be Discovered
Appendix: Sharing the Journey with Others
Notes
preface
I gazed out the window at the snow-covered hills that surrounded the New England retreat. I had accompanied my brother to the retreat to help lead worship. I was not prepared for the revelation the Holy Spirit would birth in my heart that day. Wayne was speaking on the power of Christian friendship, focusing on Scriptures he called the one anothering passages.
At first blush his message didn t seem to be anything new. I had been raised by loving, Christian parents and had read these verses individually dozens of times. Though many of them were some of the most endearing passages I had studied in the course of my life, I had never considered them together in this context. Combined, they painted a rich panorama of the incredible relationships of love and support the body of Christ can share.
My retreat experience was a powerful, life-changing moment in my walk with the Lord. As I began to grasp the lost art of one anothering, I started on a journey that has redefined how I view the church, how I relate to other Christians, and even how I relate to God. It also has helped me cultivate better friendships with other believers and people in the world who do not yet know God.
Now, ten years later, my brother and I have walked different paths, but God has brought us together to explore this concept with you. We will investigate such questions as, How can we share meaningful and supportive relationships with other believers? and What is the New Testament model for loving, nurturing friendships? If you have ever hungered for deeper relationships with other believers, perhaps you are ready to realize the difference between going to church and being the church.
Just look at all the ways we can share relationships with other believers:
One Anothering
Loving one another (John 13:34)
Forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32)
Accepting one another (Romans 15:7)
Bearing with one another (Ephesians 4:2)
Being devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
Honoring one another above ourselves (Romans 12:10)
Greeting one another (2 Corinthians 13:12)
Being hospitable to one another (1 Peter 4:9)
Being kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
Sharing with one another (Hebrews 13:16)
Serving one another (Galatians 5:13)
Carrying one another s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
Building up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Encouraging one another daily (Hebrews 3:13)
Comforting one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
Stimulating one another to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24)
Instructing one another (Romans 15:14)
Admonishing one another (Colossians 3:16)
Praying for one another (James 5:16)
Confessing your sins to one another (James 5:16)
Being of the same mind toward one another (Romans 12:16)
Submitting to one another (Ephesians 5:21)
Discovering the significance of these Scriptures has been incredible for me. I pray that your journey with us through this book will help you discover the lost art of one anothering in your own relationships-that is, loving others as God has loved you.
Clay Jacobsen Camarillo, California
anyway
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Be good anyway.
Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People need help but may attack you if you try to help them.
Help them anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
From a sign on the wall of Shishu Bhavan, a children s home in Calcutta
1
escaping the loneliness trap
People are longing to rediscover true community. We have had enough of loneliness, independence and competition.
Jean Vanier
A nna had never felt so alone. Her husband, Herman, needed minor surgery to repair a hernia, but the fact that he also suffered from Alzheimer s made it anything but minor. The doctor had just visited Herman s room and informed her that after surgery they would have to put her husband in arm and leg restraints. They were concerned he would wake up disoriented and pull out his IV or harm himself in some other way. They didn t have enough staff to keep someone at his bedside throughout recovery.
Anna tried to envision the restraints that would hold her husband immobile. She knew the insurance wouldn t pay for a private nurse, and given his condition he might not even remember it, but the image tormented her nonetheless. What could she do?
A few moments later Anna turned when she heard a knock at the door of her husband s hospital room. Mike and Carol were thirty years younger, but in the last few years they had become good friends through their involvement in the same home fellowship group. Carol noticed the stress in Anna s eyes and was finally able to draw out the cause for her concern. I know it s probably stupid, but I just don t want him to go through that.
Mike and Carol had no idea what could be done either, but they were on their way to meet with the group and promised Anna they would share her concern and pray about it.
Almost an hour later the phone rang, and Anna grabbed for it before it could awaken her husband.
Oh good, you re still there. It was Carol.
After we prayed for you tonight, someone as