Epic Saints

Shaun McAfee

Description

Discover the Epic Humanity of the SaintsThe saints are not myths or legends, they were people just like us who lived lives of -epic virtue. If the saints have never made you laugh or drop your jaw, they will in this book. Bestselling author Shaun McAfee (Reform Yourself!, Filling Our Father's House) and guest writers illustrate how the saints were not just stone-faced old men. Some of them had quirky habits, outrageous personalities, and did breathtaking deeds...but they all had epic faith. Their lives were filled with events that push our understanding of charity with intrepid virtue, but at certain points, they lacked common sense and were uproariously funny, too. Discover the time: A young man known for his spiritual perfection almost blew himself to bits with a cannon.The saint of the Cristero War became a master of disguises to save Christians and hilariously taunt his persecutors.Twin saints conjured dragons and tempests just to preserve vocations of novices.The founder of the Oratorians joked about his own death, just moments before he died.A famous cardinal rejected guaranteed conclave votes to make him pope.A magnificent preacher was- understandably-accused of being insane. You'll be filled with faith and laughter as you discover that God truly sends the lowly to do his will on earth, but that over time and with God's graces, the lowly are lifted the highest-even if they are a little wild, weird, and epically wonderful.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Christian theology
• Christianity

Informations

• Publié par: TAN Books
• Date de parution: 13 mars 2020
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781505115147
• Langue: English

Extrait

WILD, WONDERFUL, WEIRD STORIES OF GOD’S HEROES
SHAUN McAFEE
TAN Books Gastonia, North Carolina
Epic Saints: Wild, Wonderful, and Weird Stories of God’s Heroes © 2019 Shaun McAfee
All rights reserved. With the exception of short excerpts used in critical review, no part of this work may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in any form whatsoever without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Cover design by Caroline Green
Cover image: St. Columba and the Loch Ness Monster / colour lithograph / English School, (20th century), © Look and Learn / Bridgeman Images
Library of Congress Control Number: 2019953846
ISBN: 978-1-5051-1512-3
Published in the United States by TAN Books PO Box 269 Gastonia, NC 28053 www.TANBooks.com
Printed in the United States of America
To Gabriel, Tristan, and Dominic—my wild, wonderful, and weird boys
CONTENTS
Introduction
A LEX R. H EY
St. Eugene de Mazenod Scams a Scammer
Excessive Modesty of St. Eugene de Mazenod
St. Boniface the Lumberjack
H AVE S AINTS A LWAYS B EEN C ANONIZED THE S AME W AY ?
They Might Not Know What They Do, but We Do: St. Moses the Black
Patron of Man’s Best Friend: St. Roch
St. Columba and the Loch Ness Monster
St. Margaret Clitherow Refuses to Plead
Blessed Miguel Pro: Master of Disguise
S ARAH S PITTLER
Three St. Arnolds and the Beer-acles
J ESSICA M c A FEE
“Which Cross Is Mine?” St. Thomas Kozaki and Companions
T HERESA Z OE W ILLIAMS
A Family that Prays Together: St. Zoe of Pamphylia
St. Teresa Margaret Redi and Her Un-Decomposing Body
St. Isidore Bakanja: Catechist Martyr of the Scapular
St. Nicholas of Tolentino and the Poor Souls in Purgatory
W HAT Is THE G ENERAL R OMAN C ALENDAR ?
St. Francis Xavier and the Not-Exactly-A-Secret Weapon
St. Francis Xavier Learns an Important Lesson about Crabs and Crosses
Can You Really Trust a Wolf? St. Edmund the Martyr
St. Clare and the Saracens
Ignoring Parental Advisories: St. Anna Wang
The Death of St. Clare of Assisi
B ROOKE G REGORY
St. Benedict’s Dragon
St. Margaret’s Dragon
C AN T HESE S TORIES B E A LLEGORICAL ?
Fireproof: St. Irene of Chrysovalantou
The Wild, Bilocating Death of St. Mary of Egypt
Best Miracle Ever: Brigid of Kildare
Be Careful Who You Punish: St. Marina “the Monk”
D EACON M ARTY M c I NDOE
St. Lawrence, the Holy Grail, and the Treasures of Rome
Behind Enemy Lines: St. Francis of Assisi
St. Sebastian: Twice Murdered
Simeon Stylites: World Record Holder
Pope St. Clement I: Water Diviner
St. Denis of Pari: The Saint Who Lost His Head but Kept on Going
A RE W E R EALLY E XPECTED TO B ELIEVE THESE S TORIES ?
Light and Easy: St. Joseph of Cupertino
St. Quiteria the “Nonuplet” and Her Sister Gang of Warriors
Pope St. John Paul II: Healer
St. Junipero Serra: Founding Father of the United States
S HAUN M c A FEE
Playing with Cannons: St. Aloysius Gonzaga
The Active Pacifism of St. Martin of Tours
“I Can Die Now”: St. Monica
St. Genevieve and the Huns
Pope Leo Meets Attila the Hun
Leo and Genseric
W HY A RE S OME S AINTS NOT ON THE C ALENDAR ?
Pope Gelasius Says No More
History’s Turning Point: St. Clotilda and the Conversion and Baptism of Clovis
Gregory Hides in a Cave, Instead of Being Pope
St. Lawrence and the Grill
“Non nisi Te, Domine”: St. Thomas Aquinas
Firm Belief: St. Tarcisius
Some People Change, Others Are Refined: St. Philip Neri
“I Dare You to Try”: St. Scholastica
Painting a Saint? St. Benedict Joseph Labre
W HAT I S THE P ROCESS FOR C ANONIZATION ?
Insane, or Just a Good Evangelist? St. John Bosco
St. Christina the Astonishing and the Smell of Sin
Almost a Pope Twice: St. Robert Bellarmine
Against All Odds: St. Stephen Harding
Finally a Pope, and a Reconciled Antipope
Like a Surgeon: St. Philip Neri
A Law-Abiding Christian: Pope St. Felix I
“Creator of Heaven and Earth”: St. Peter of Verona
St. Benedict Does What St. Benedict Does Best
St. Philip Neri Jokes Before, and About, His Death
Be Careful What You Pray for: St. Philip Neri
A Backhanded Compliment: St. Macrina the Younger
Advice (and a Prayer) for Newlyweds: St. Philip Neri
After the Well: St. Photina
W HAT S HOULD W E D O WITH S AINT N ARRATIVES THAT C ONTAIN E RRORS OR I NCONSISTENCIES ?
Tutor to the Tudors: Blessed Thomas Abel
W HY A RE S OME C ANONIZED Q UICKLY WHILE O THERS H AVE B EEN IN THE P ROCESS FOR C ENTURIES ?
Three Counter-Reformers Converge
L AURA H ENSLEY
St. Catherine Labouré and the Miraculous Medal
St. Faustina and the Image of Divine Mercy
M IKE P ANLILIO
Hope for the Sex Addict: St. Augustine
M AGGIE V AN S CIVER
The Time St. Nicholas Slapped a Heretic
Say This Five Times Fast—Saints Suffer in Secret: Blessed Miguel Pro
Silence Is a Strategy: Elizabeth Leseur
C AN I B ECOME A S AINT ?
Contributors
About the Author
INTRODUCTION
By Shaun McAfee
S etting dragons on vocation-deserting novices, blowing up cannons to prove one’s worth, and blessing the heck out of church people with beer is not the way we typically think of the saints. We’ve concocted a picture of saints with lavish prayer lives, patience that outmatches a guardian angel, and enough charity to get them groom-side seats next to Jesus at the heavenly banquet.
But I’m telling you, the saints were wild. They were sometimes rowdy before (and after) they chose God, getting into the thickest of situations. Ever considered dressing up as your persecutor and chewing them out in public? Please meet Eugene Mazenod.
The saints were wonderful. There are saints with gentle names like Thérèse of the Child Jesus, but then there’s Christina the Astonishing, who dropped jaws wherever she went with her ridiculous miracles and mind-blowing phenomena.
So the saints did amazing and surprising things, but they were sometimes just plain weird too. You’d never guess that some saints chose to sleep on the ground, in the rain, with little to nothing on, after walking nearly two thousand kilometers from their hometown, just for a single hour of prayer at a shrine in the middle of nowhere. Or a woman who joined a monastery, living as a monk among religious brothers and priests for almost her entire adult life.
After an intensely intellectual conversion to Catholicism, I’ll be honest and say I didn’t have a ton of interest in the saints. I heard some great stories in RCIA, but I more enjoyed Augustine’s De Trinitate or the Summa Contra Gentiles of Aquinas before I read Antonio Gallonio’s volume on Philip Neri. But when I picked up that world-famous biography and got to the first hilarious story of Neri and the ox, I giggled like a toddler watching the snow peas on Veggie Tales. As I learned of Neri and his sidesplitting letter to Charles Borromeo, I had to read his life too. And then I discovered that the Lombardian cardinal gave first communion to Aloysius Gonzaga, and that that young man chose Robert Bellarmine as his spiritual director and confessor.
The more I read, the more I wanted to read. And the more I discovered about them, the more I learned about myself, the Church, and most importantly, what God wants of me: continual conversion. St. Neri might have overturned that ox after thinking he was in a rodeo, but that event shaped the mirthful saint. Likewise, I might have dumped a can of paint down the toilet, or traced my whole body on the wall with my mother’s lipstick when I was a kid, or shot fireballs at classmates from the Bunsen burner in sixth grade science—or I might not have. It depends on who you ask.
In all seriousness (yes, those things happened), those events shaped me. Those crazy moments and decisions, with the guidance of good mentors and persistent youth pastors, helped me to gain a sense of gratitude for life and the love of others. Now, I can approach my Faith with that same go-big-or-go-home mentality—the same ones that helped Benedict conjure dragons and Boniface to chop down a tree that the pagans thought was their god.
That’s why I wanted to write this book. Too often I have the opportunity to tell a good saint story, but I’m guessing everyone already knows. When in reality, they’ve never even heard of cool saints like Tarcisius. I wanted to compile a list of some of the most outrageous and inspiring saint stories that I and my author-friends have ever heard or read.
But it’s far from complete. First of all, there are way too many to tell. We’ll have to ask for a sequel! But also, the stories are not all told, yet. The hope, and my personal prayer, is that you the reader will become stirred by these of God’s heroes in order to have a few saintly stories of your own to share one day. Because the saints aren’t just those who have a tapestry hung at the Vatican with forty thousand in attendance for their canonization Mass, but also you and me. Actually, on that note, please stop what you are doing, cross yourself, and pray for me, that I might make it to heaven in one piece.
I’ll wait …
Now really, please enjoy.
ST. EUGENE DE MAZENOD SCAMS A SCAMMER
By Alex R. Hey
“I am not a bishop to write books,” St. Eugène de Mazenod (1782–1861) once said. This summed up his philosophy towards his position as bishop of Marseilles, France. He wanted to be a bishop for the people. As such, his mission was not to preach great sermons or to write great treatises on the Faith; his mission was to serve the people of his diocese.
Mazenod made it a point, then, to be with his people. Despite the administrative duties he had as both a bishop and the leader of a religious order (Oblates of Mary Immaculate), he made a point of administering the sacraments through performing confirmations, numerous and frequent baptisms, tending to the sick, spending hours listening to confessions, and particularly enjoyed the corporeal mercy of reaching out to the poor.
The bishop also had a welcoming office. He set aside a few hours each day for whomever wished to