From One Single Mother to Another

P. Aldrich Sandra

Description

One of the world's greatest mission fields is often in the pew each Sunday morning--the single-parent family. With a population of more than 12.5 million, this group is looking for the encouragement and hope that veteran single parents, such as author Sandra Aldrich, can offer. Sandra presents practical advice, personal experiences, encouraging anecdotes, and the occasional chuckle in her popular conversational style. Each chapter begins with appropriate Scripture and ends with a question for personal reflection or group discussion. Sandra succeeds in setting the record straight that single-parent homes are not "broken homes."

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 08 mars 2005
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441224545
• Langue: English

Extrait

© 1991 Sandra Picklesimer Aldrich
Published by Revell a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.revellbooks.com
Previously published by Regal Books in 1991 Revised edition published January 2005
Ebook edition created 2014
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-2454-5
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
Other version used is: KJV — King James Version . Authorized King James Version.
P RAISE FOR
From One Single Mother to Another

Sandra Aldrich has written a must-read book for an ever-growing segment of our society, the single mom. Whether by chance or by choice, the single mother needs to have a book such as this as a source of strength, encouragement and just plain practical advice. Job well done, Sandra, and thank you!
Sara R. Dormon and Ruth Graham
Coauthors, I’m Pregnant . . . Now What?
Grace is what From One Single Mother to Another is all about! Sandra has written eloquently, passionately and persuasively about God’s grace in her own life. Her wonderful humor and heart-tugging stories are sure to offer encouragement to every single mom searching for a little hope.
John Fuller
Broadcaster
This is the best book on parenting I have ever read—a great encouragement for single moms who may feel the job of raising children alone can’t ever be done properly without a partner. Sandra always finds a way to make her children feel proud of being a family.
Jean Lush
Author, Best-Selling Mothers and Sons
I couldn’t put From One Single Mother to Another down. I laughed, chuckled to myself and couldn’t read the words because of the tears in my eyes. This book is not only for single moms but also for all moms. From One Single Mother to Another is a great reference book to keep on the shelf for those “I need help” or “I need encouragement” moments.
Fern Nichols
Founder and President, Moms In Touch International
Sandra Aldrich covers the vast territory of single mothering with humor, sensitivity and tons of practical tips in her book, From One Single Mother to Another . A handy resource to be used long after first reading it.
Lois Mowday Rabey
Author, Daughters Without Dads and Women of a Generous Spirit
As a single mother who raised two children after the death of my husband, I can speak to the treasure that lies in Sandra’s new version of From One Single Mother to Another . Sandra’s wisdom and experience offer single moms freedom from guilt, joy in sorrow, and laughter in the face of fears and tears. She gives practical suggestions and solutions to the nitty-gritty of single parenting. This book is not a pity party; it is an encouraging tool that will empower single moms to face whatever life brings. Woven beautifully through the real-life stories and practical lessons is the love of God and the truth of Scripture. Because I know Sandra, and have seen her live out her faith day to day, I can say that single moms who read her book will know her too.
Bobbie Valentine
Former Executive Producer, Focus on the Family President, Bobbie Valentine Media Consulting
Dedication

To my son and daughter, Jay and Holly. Thanks, kiddos, for keeping me from running away to Tahiti—or Kentucky—at the beginning of my singlehood and for giving me lots of reasons to see the joy in each new day.
—Your Grateful Single Mom
Contents

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Praise for From One Single Mother to Another
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction A Letter from One Single Mother to Another
Chapter One If I Can Do It, You Can, Too
Holly, we are still a family. We’re just a family of three now.
Chapter Two So How Do We Handle Loneliness?
I’ve discovered even a wrinkled face and a tired-looking body doesn’t mean the hormones are wrinkled and tired, too. Those little critters are ageless.
Chapter Three Guilt, Who Needs It?
All of us have situations we wish we’d handled differently. We can’t undo those times, but we can learn from them.
Chapter Four Keep ’Em Talking and Keep Listening
Communication is merely making sure our children see yes in our faces and know we are approachable.
Chapter Five Guiding Our Teens Through Sexual Waters
The best years were when Jay was 15 and Holly 14—because he couldn’t drive and she couldn’t date!
Chapter Six Battling the Bills and Winning the War
It’s always amazed me the people who admonish single mothers not to worry about money are the very ones who don’t have to worry themselves.
Chapter Seven Any Houseboats for Sale or Rent?
Being prepared and the fact I don’t like surprises—even happy surprises—causes me to put a lot of preparation and energy into any major purchase I make.
Chapter Eight And We’re to Do All That Without Yelling?
Children who have time on their hands aren’t happy. And those who have no chores and no responsibilities tend to quarrel more than those who are busy around the home.
Chapter Nine We Love Our Kin, but We’ll Raise Our Kids
It’s a bigger issue than just the public or private school matter. It’s the whole thing of whether I know what’s best for my children.
Chapter Ten When the Kids Fight
At times I was convinced they stayed awake nights, thinking up ways to aggravate each other. That started just about puberty—and was an exhausting time.
Chapter Eleven Help, When I Tied My Son’s Tie, He Turned Blue!
In the early days of our singlehood, it’s difficult to find the balance between letting friends help and leaning on them.
Chapter Twelve Counting Wrinkles, Celebrating Joys, Anticipating Life
Do I miss the smooth skin of my youth? Of course. But do I grieve its loss? No, each line represents another milestone in my journey.
Chapter Thirteen New Adventures Are Ours to Grab. Let’s Be Ready for Them!
Life is filled with trade-offs; for everything we lose, we gain something else. And for everything we gain, we lose. Many times our attitude decides the final outcome.
Notes
Back Cover
Acknowledgments

During those years of trying to find my footing in my new role as a single mother, I gleaned information from other single mothers as they told me of their trials. So, much of what I share here is from them. And to show my appreciation for the trust they’ve shown me, I’ve changed most of their names in these pages to protect their privacy.
But I especially want to thank my sister Thea for sharing insights from her circumstances. Her encouraging calls always came when I needed them most.
Everyone at Gospel Light/Regal Books deserves one of my Kentucky hugs, but several folks went out of their way to encourage this project: Bill Greig III, Kim Bangs, Deena Davis, Marlene Baer, Amber Ong, Bayard Taylor, Amy Friesen and Bill Denzel. God bless you all.
A Letter from One Single Mother to Another
Woe is me for my hurt! my wound is grievous: but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.
J EREMIAH 10:19, KJV
Dear Friend:
The book you are holding has been written by this single mom to help and encourage you, another hurting single mom. Perhaps you are new to the reality of “singlehood” and are wondering where to go from here.
The first edition of From One Single Mother to Another came out when my two children, Jay and Holly, still lived at home. Today, both are college graduates; they are happily married and gainfully employed. And neither sold drugs, stole cars or turned out to be an ax murderer.
I say all this as an encouragement to those who may be new to single parenting. Too often if we listen to the media, we fear for our children’s futures. After all, we hear the tragic stories featuring those raised in one of the 12 million single-parent homes in the United States.
But even though the numbers seem daunting, remember that our children are not statistics. So don’t listen to your fears and don’t lose hope because of scary reports.
Listen instead to the Lord and draw on your own God-given strength. You can walk this path and you can arrive at the finish line—not only as a survivor but also as a victor.
Different Tickets, Same Boat
I confess I never expected to write this book. After all, I’m a Kentucky woman who was raised to take care of a husband and children, have a big garden and make quilts. Parenting children on my own just wasn’t part of the deal.
So I’ve learned far more than I ever wanted to know about being a single mother since that December afternoon when brain cancer defeated my husband, Don, and spun me into single parenthood.
Know then, if you have recently become a single mom and are juggling too many responsibilities, I understand some of what you’re dealing with. Much of the spiritual and practical counsel I offer in these pages I’ve learned the hard way—through lived experience. But don’t worry, I won’t try to advise you on how to raise perfect youngsters—I never figured out how to do that ! I simply pray you will find in this book encouragement that comes from the knowledge that you and your children do have bright tomorrows.
The divorced women especially have my sympathy. When my husband died, everyone hovered around me—for two weeks—whispering, “Oh, you poor dear.” But when one of my sisters and several of my friends suffered through the process of divorce—one even did so to protect her daughter from sexual abuse—they were treated like lepers. Yes, grief from death is a deep cut, but it’s a clean cut. The grief from divorce is deep an