Junk Knowledge

Noah Marchand Marques

Description

Maybe you are in some high-end rehab in Sausalito, California. Maybe you are staying in a shelter in downtown St. Louis, Missouri. Maybe you moved back in with your parents. It really doesn't matter where you are. If you are a junky and you want to quit but you can't, I get it. I have been there more than once. But do you really want to get sober? Or are you just broke and need a place to crash? Maybe your girlfriend threw you and all your shit out because you get crazy and you black out and you threatened to kill her again. Maybe you finally got caught robbing your grandmother's house. Such scenarios are not fictions for addicts; they are standard. But when it comes to the point that everyone in your life has told you to get the fuck out, perhaps it's time to change.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Memoir

Informations

• Publié par: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Date de parution: 31 août 2020
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781645752189
• Langue: English

Extrait

Junk Knowledge
Marques Noah Marchand
Austin Macauley Publishers
2020-08-31
Junk Knowledge About the Author Dedication Copyright Information © Acknowledgment Preface 1. The Question 2. The Dawn of Discomfort 3. Phil 4. The Other Neverland Ranch 5. Beaten Down 6. Sick in the Head 7. Devil Inside 8. Next 9. People 10. Life Lessons 11. Poverty 12. Last House on the Block 13. The Good, the Bad, and the… 14. Mr. Softy 15. Without a Net 16. Loneliness 17. My Side of the Street 18. Afraid of the Dark 19. $300 an Hour 20. My Bicycle 21. Romance 22. Truth or Dare 23. Angels 24. Daily Reminder 25. Low Ceilings 26. Porn 27. Who Are You 28. Humility 29. Self-Esteem 30. Service! 31. God, Are You There? 32. Pulling it all Together
About the Author
Marques Noah Marchand resides in San Francisco, California. Junk Knowledge is his first book. Marques’s work focuses on the gritty truth that is addiction, and what it takes to recover and move forward. With a dark sense of humor, Marques will guide you through all the ups, downs and curves that have been in his life. Today, armed with a wealth of knowledge that his experience has brought him, Marques Marchand hopes to help other suffering addicts and the friends and family that are trying to help those that are currently caught in the grips of the madness—addiction. Please keep an eye out for his future work.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to my Grandma Maggie.
Copyright Information ©
Marques Noah Marchand (2020)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
This book is for general information purposes and nothing contained in it is, or is intended to be construed as advice. It does not take into account your individual health, medical, physical or emotional situation or needs. It is not a substitute for medical attention, treatment, examination, advice, treatment of existing conditions or diagnosis and is not intended to provide a clinical diagnosis nor take the place of proper medical advice from a fully qualified medical practitioner.
Ordering Information:
Quantity sales: special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.
Publisher’s Cataloging-in-Publication data
Marchand, Marques Noah
Junk Knowledge
ISBN 9781645752165 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781645752172 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781645752189 (ePub e-book)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020912642
www.austinmacauley.com/us
First Published (2020)
Austin Macauley Publishers LLC
40 Wall Street, 28 th Floor
New York, NY 10005
USA
[e-mail]
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Acknowledgment
There are some key people in my life that really made this book possible. I know that I spoke harshly about some people in my life. I basically told the world that I think my mother is mentally ill on more than one occasion. I might have made her out to be like Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest . She wasn’t that bad, but at times I saw her as a monster. I also spoke a lot about my stepfather. Did I compare him to Hitler? I really can’t remember but I might have. I did not mention my biological father that much because I simply do not have that much to go on. I have described my father as more of a ghost than an actual person. I do not mean to come off cold or disconnected, but I simply do not know my father. My grandma, Maggie, will always be a saint in my mind. For all her faults, my grandmother can do no wrong. I will forever be in her debt. My grandmother pulled me out of hell more than once. She gave me food, shelter, and time. She allowed me to work on myself and become an actual human being, and for that, I will always love my grandmother more than life itself. I love you, Grandma.
I also want to thank every AA sponsor that I have ever had. I learned something from every man that has taken the time to work with me. To my best friend Peter. We have become bulletproof and we helped each other achieve success. We have both experienced hell on Earth and we clawed our way out. Thank you for being my friend, Peter. I have to thank everyone I ever met at every AA meeting I have ever been to. I have heard so many amazing stories over the years, so many amazing people that have shared their souls in crowded church basements and random Alano Clubs around the country and the world. Thank you to all the employers that kept me longer than they should have and thank you to the employers that fired me. It was the right thing to do. I also want to thank every asshole that I have ever met. In AA, the most important person in the room are the newcomers. In life, the most important person in your life will always be the biggest asshole in your life. You learn the most from assholes. I have learned patience, how to love unconditionally, and how not to judge others so much, thanks to the complete assholes of the world. Actually, I am still pretty judgmental, but I am getting better, I promise. I have learned how to say no, when to say yes, how to let the bad ones go, and how to fight for the good ones. Thank you to everyone that made any kind of impact on my life. I might not like you, but I love you.
I’m pretty sure most of this is true.
Preface
I decided to write this book because I am tired of people telling me that they left rehab because they hated talking about God. The number-one excuse for people leaving rehab early, not liking twelve-step programs and hating all the literature that comes with all these facilities is one little word, God. Oh, and rules, these people hate rules. I have been told by hundreds of men and women, young and old, that they simply do not want to talk about the whole God thing. I can’t even fathom how many times I have heard someone say that they are not sure whether or not they actually are an alcoholic. Sure, they have been to rehab twice and recently court-ordered to go to AA meetings for the next six months but no, they don’t have a problem. Meanwhile, these people can’t keep a job, never pay rent on time unless their parents help them, keep losing their cars, their kids are one bad night away from being taken by the state, and they keep dating people that abuse them in one way or another. These people would prefer to go through all this rather than do whatever it takes to get sober and stay sober. Why? They say they don’t have a disease and God isn’t real. They aren’t bad people. They just want to have fun but they take it a bit too far sometimes. That’s all. Rehab is just a place for them to get away from the harsh world that doesn’t understand them for a few weeks. Dad left when they were three, which gave them a major disadvantage. Life just hasn’t been fair for these select few, so they deserve a little bit of leeway. These are the things they tell themselves to rationalize their negative habits, habits they sooner or later turn into full-on abuse.
I know I am coming off a bit harsh. The reason why I take a more brutal and straightforward stance on the issue of addiction is because I have not only seen what I consider the disease of addiction tear not only the individual addict apart but I have also seen the disease rip apart entire families. It has happened to me and both sides of my family. People in my family have died, gone mentally insane, or just disappeared only to return five years later as if nothing happened. I come from low-bottom junkies. I come from depression, anxiety, and denial. Maybe you don’t. Maybe your family is successful, happy, and gainfully employed. But if you are reading this book, you probably found it in some twenty-eight-day spin dry center somewhere or you know someone that is an addict that read it and told you to check it out. Either way, things aren’t perfect for you right now. Or maybe you are a good friend of mine and I forced you to buy my book. If that’s the case, thanks for the ten bucks.
I want to make it clear that I am a no-bullshit, straightforward kind of guy. Some people like this and some people don’t. But if you are going through a hard time, I might be your best friend. If you are an atheist and you are not sure if you are an addict and you don’t want to talk about God, this book might also be for you. I wrote this book as an alternative to all the other books that you might be asked to read if you or someone you know is struggling with addiction. And trust me, for a hardcore junky like myself, there is no alternative to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have read everything you can read and the Big Book saved my life. I do however understand why someone would not want to talk about God or spirituality on any level when first trying to get sober. In the beginning, all you want to do is make it one day without drinking or using. Your body hurts, you keep throwing up, you have diarrhea all the time, and your mind is upside down. The description I have just given does not even come close to giving what withdrawal really is like any justice. The last thing you want to hear is, “Son, do you believe in God?” That question sends so many people packing. I can understand why so many people just say ‘fuck you’ to the whole God thing.
If possible, I want to give some form of guidance. In order to do this, I will talk about my using days, how great it was, how shitty it was, and I will talk about how and why I got sober. Some of this book will be a bit depressing. Some of this book will be funny. At times, I will come off l