Quick-Reference Guide to Sexuality & Relationship Counseling

Tim Clinton Dr.

Description

One of the foremost counseling needs in our day is help with sexuality and relationship issues. But sometimes those who are faced with helping the hurting could use a little more information about the problems that people bring to them. The Quick-Reference Guide to Sexuality and Relationship Counseling provides the answers. It is an A-Z guide for assisting people-helpers--pastors, professional counselors, youth workers, and everyday believers--to easily access a full array of information to aid them in (formal and informal) counseling situations. Each of the 40 topics covered follows a helpful eight-part outline and identifies: 1) typical symptoms and patterns, 2) definitions and key thoughts, 3) questions to ask, 4) directions for the conversation, 5) action steps, 6) biblical insights, 7) prayer starters, and 8) recommended resources.About the seriesThe Quick-Reference Guides are A-Z guides that assist people-helpers--pastors, professional counselors, youth workers, and everyday believers--to easily access a full array of information to aid them in (formal and informal) counseling situations. Each of the forty topics covered follows a helpful eight-part outline and identifies: 1) typical symptoms and patterns, 2) definitions and key thoughts, 3) questions to ask, 4) directions for the conversation, 5) action steps, 6) biblical insights, 7) prayer starters, and 8) recommended resources.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 avril 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441207418
• Langue: English

Extrait

The Quick-Reference Guide to SEXUALITY RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING
The Quick-Reference Guide to SEXUALITY RELATIONSHIP COUNSELING
DR. TIM CLINTON AND DR. MARK LAASER
2010 by Tim Clinton
Published by Baker Books a division of Baker Publishing Group P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287 www.bakerbooks.com
Ebook edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-for example, electronic, photocopy, recording-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-0741-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version . NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture marked NASB is taken from the New American Standard Bible , Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.lockman.org
Scripture marked NKJV is taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked NLT is taken from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked Message is taken from The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked KJV is taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Part 1 Sex and Relationships
1. Sexual Intimacy and Delight
2. Sexual Desire and Expectations
3. Threats to Sexual Intimacy
4. Increasing Sexual Satisfaction
5. Stress and Sex
6. Birth Control and Reproduction
7. Infertility
Part 2 Sexual Problems and Relationship Challenges
8. Low Sexual Desire
9. Orgasmic Disorders
10. Premature Ejaculation
11. Sexual Arousal Disorder
12. Sexual Pain Disorder
13. Masturbation and Self-Sex
14. Oral Sex
15. Anal Sex
16. Sexually Transmitted Diseases
17. HIV Transmission and AIDS
18. Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse
19. Infidelity and Affairs
20. Forgiveness and Rebuilding Trust
Part 3 Sexual Addiction and Deviance
21. Sex and Romance Addiction
22. Pornography
23. Polyamory and Group Sex
24. Exhibitionism and Voyeurism
25. Fetishism
26. Frotteurism
27. Sadism and Masochism
28. Sexual Violence and Rape
29. Prostitution and Sexual Exploitation
30. Pedophilia
31. Sexual Harassment
Part 4 Gender Identity Issues
32. Homosexuality
33. Gender Identity Disorder
34. Transvestic Fetishism
Part 5 Sexual Issues in Parenting and Family Life
35. Raising Sexually Healthy Children
36. Sexually Active Kids and Teens
37. Teenage Pregnancy and Parenting
38. Incest
39. Singles and Sexuality
40. Elder Sex
Notes
Acknowledgments
Dr. Laaser and I would like to say a special thank-you to all involved in helping build a resource that we pray will be used by Christian leaders and people helpers all over the world to foster hope and healing for those who are searching for wisdom, direction, and understanding.
A note of deep appreciation goes to Robert Hosack at Baker Books for believing in the project and to Mary Suggs and Mary Wenger for their excellence in editing.
Likewise, we extend sincere gratitude to the entire AACC team, who helped in the writing, editing, and research for this project:
Pat Springle, MA
Joshua Straub, PhD
Amy Feigel, MA, LMFT
Anthony Centore, PhD
George Ohlschlager, JD
Laura Faidley
We would also like to thank our wives, Julie and Deb, and our families for their love and support through the years. We could not enter into the work we do without you.
And to the entire AACC team and tens of thousands of pastors and Christian counselors who are literally entering into the darkness of the lives of hurting people, may this resource help you bring the light and hope of Jesus in every situation. To you we dedicate this series.
Introduction
Comedian Phyllis Diller once complained, A terrible thing happened to me last night again: nothing.
We live in an incredibly sexualized society, but many people who come to us for counseling are like Phyllis-disappointed about their sex lives. A few come to us with sexual problems at the top of their list of things they want to talk about, but even in our sex-saturated culture (and perhaps because of it), some people are ashamed to bring up their sexual problems in counseling.
Since the beginning of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), we have been consistently asked to catalog and provide quick-reference materials that pastors and counselors could easily access for the variety of issues they face. This third volume on sexuality and relationship counseling-and all the volumes in this series-is our response to that legitimate call. The topics for the quick-reference guides are:
Personal and emotional issues
Marriage and family issues
Sexuality and relationship issues
Teenager issues
Women s issues
Singles issues
Money issues
We are delighted to deliver to you this volume, The Quick-Reference Guide to Sexuality and Relationship Counseling , and trust that God will use it to bring His hope and life to millions of believers throughout America and the world to whom the continually growing membership in the AACC ministers.
Everywhere we look in this new millennium, we find people who desperately need God s touch, who cry out constantly for His gracious care. The mind-boggling advances in every professional and scientific field, along with a multibillion-dollar advertising blitz, have stoked the false expectation that we can have it all, and have it all now. If you look at the latest advertising tactics, you ll quickly see that sex sells. All of these factors only reinforce the aching hole in the soul that so many suffer in the midst of material abundance and relational brokenness, thus intensifying the stress that we all live under in our 24-7 sociocultural landscape. It begs the question, Does an authentic remedy really exist?
We believe the answer is a resounding yes. And it starts with you. Since you are reading the introduction to this book, you have likely been called to counseling ministry, to a work of authentic caregiving. You have been called and are likely trained to some degree to deliver care and consolation to the many broken-down and brokenhearted souls living in your church and community. You will find this book and this entire series most helpful if you have been called to remind others that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed (Ps. 34:18 NLT). He has chosen you as a vessel for delivery of His special grace; you have both the privilege and the responsibility to deliver that care in the most excellent and ethical way possible.
When it comes to the issues of sexuality and relationship counseling, one of the most important things we can do for people is to normalize discussions about sex. If they can learn to talk more openly and candidly to us in a safe environment, they will probably have more courage and confidence to talk to their spouse or doctor to find solutions to their problems. Over the course of a life, and in a long-lasting marriage, every aspect of the relationship ebbs and flows-including sexual satisfaction. Pregnancy and childbirth, the pressures of moving to a new city or changing jobs, the stress of having too many bills and too little money, illness, boredom, and the physical limitations that come with age are normal parts of life.
Quite often a client comes to us with a single presenting problem, but a few questions uncover a tangled web of emotional, relational, spiritual, financial, and sexual difficulties. The counselor s task is to uncover the most pressing issues, prioritize them, and address them in a way that offers a process of change and hope that life can be better.
While all problems impact all dimensions of a person s life in some manner, a quick glance at the table of contents of this book shows that some of the problems clients face are primarily medical , such as infertility, sexually transmitted diseases, and HIV; some are psychological and are the result of traumatic events, addictions, compulsions, or inordinate fears; some are spiritual with roots in the person s relationship with God; and some deal with communication between spouses. In many (if not most) cases, the problem results from a combination of causes. If there is any question about a medical condition causing or contributing to the problem, refer the client to a gynecologist or urologist or perhaps a family physician.
A wide array of Christian approaches has proven effective for people with sexual problems, including cognitive therapy to help clients identify and replace destructive thought patterns, behavior therapy to teach exercises in caressing and other meaningful touching, therapy groups and support groups for dealing with abuse or addiction, and various sexual coaching strategies that are beginning to be recognized and used.
Counselors and pastors sometimes overlook sexual issues because people who meet with them fail to bring up these concerns. For this reason, we recommend that counselors make sure their intake form includes a simple question about sexual function and satisfaction. In addition to other elements on th