Soul-to-Soul

Cheryl Polote-Williamson, Russell M. Wiliamson Sr.

Description

No one is perfect; therefore, no couple is perfect. Every marriage has its challenges. So, wouldn’t it be great to have a mentor to help guide you through the rough terrains and provide you with the wisdom necessary to cultivate a healthy bond that leads to effective communication and marital bliss?

That is exactly why this practical marriage guide for couples as well as single hopefuls was written. In this book, Cheryl Polote-Williamson and her husband, Russell, have collaborated with seven couples to share tried-and-true lessons learned from their own marriages.

Packed with refreshing honesty and step-by-step strategies for cultivating and maintaining a healthy marriage, Soul-to-Soul will serve as a go-to manual for you and your spouse. You will be inspired and encouraged as you learn how to communicate in a way that strengthens your marriage and sets you on the path to relationship success.

Informations

• Publié par: Cheryl Polote-Williamson
• Date de parution: 12 février 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781644840016
• Langue: English

Extrait

SOUL-TO-SOUL
Published by Purposely Created Publishing Group™
Copyright © 2019 Cheryl Polote-Williamson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, taping, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews, quotes, or references.

Special discounts are available on bulk quantity purchases by book clubs, associations and special interest groups. For details email: [e-mail] or call [phone].

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Table of Contents

Foreword
United We Stand, Together We Will Not Fall
SHIRLEY WALKER-KING AND VINCENT D. KING
The Soul of My Soul from God’s Soul
RAQUEL AND TURHAN JONES
Made for Marriage and Ministry
KALDEJIA AND ROBERT FAULK
Intimacy Is the Key to True Fulfillment and Happiness
TYRIA D. AND KENNEITH E. JONES
Friends, How Many of Us Have Them?
CHERYL AND RUSSELL WILLIAMSON
Seventy Times Seven by Prayer and Faith
MICHELE AND RODNEY PEAKE
The Importance of Service in a Relationship
MAGNOLIA AND BRIAN COOK
You Were Created to Worship
KIMBERLY AND KEITH SOLOMON
Sources
About the Authors
Foreword

One of the most critical skills we can have on this planet is being able to establish a relationship—a romantic, business, or platonic relationship. This is something we’ve shared not only as our personal belief, but also as a teaching point in coaching and guiding individuals to meaningful, lasting connections. The ability to create healthy bonds that can lead to blissful partnerships fortified by effective communication, especially in marriage, is quite elusive but not impossible. While the innate skill to attract the right person and successfully share the same space—simultaneously learning, growing, creating, and even working together seems rare, with the proper guidance, it can be developed and maintained in nearly anyone seeking dedicated commitment. When we found out Russell and Cheryl shared this belief and desired to teach other couples through mentorship as well as provide a practical guide for single hopefuls, we were glad to show our support for Soul-to-Soul —a book we are sure will inspire and encourage others with stories of triumph. We are excited about successful couples sharing how they have grown, developed, and overcome marital problems, nurtured their relationships, built effective communication channels, applied biblical principles, or labored to become the couple they desired.
We are by no means perfect. You’ll discover that the couples sharing their personal journeys and advice in this book do not profess being so either. However, we have all figured out how to communicate in a positive way that pushes our families forward and allows us to thrive. You’ll read stories of couples that are in ministry together, work together, or serve together. I know with our family, we manage to do these things and still keep family first. It requires skill and balance, but it is doable. And Russell and Cheryl, along with seven other couples, want to show you how. It’s time to have real conversations. It’s time to develop the hard skills that will be key in your relationships. Let’s get Soul-to-Soul and let real couples with real examples show you how!

Jill and Paul Brunson
Author
Entrepreneur
NAACP Image Award Winner
Relationship and Life Coach
Television Personality
Matchmaker Expert
United We Stand, Together We Will Not Fall
SHIRLEY WALKER-KING AND VINCENT D. KING


“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
—Mark 10:9 (NIV)

As with the military, a lasting marriage requires honor, courage, and commitment. Love is truly a battlefield. At some point in your marriage you will be fighting a war, winning a war, as well as sharing the victory and defeat of “marital warfare.” But, even defeat can be turned into a victory when you have God on your side. So, grab your holy water and armor up!
As people, we all come with baggage and imperfections. We will make mistakes, and we will ask and sometimes beg for forgiveness at some point in all relationships, including marriage. Being married to a military person, well that creates a new category for warfare. The military lifestyle brings about many uncertainties for a marriage. Being in a military marriage requires extra tender love and care. You find yourself feeling like you have no say in your own life. You have to learn to roll with the punches, or in the military world, the orders. Orders are the way the military communicates instructions. They tell you what to do, how to do it, and when it will be done. No if, ands, or buts. Dealing with military orders can be very frustrating for the entire family. As the spouse, you may feel you have no say-so in how you live, where you live, and how long you will live there. For the active duty personnel, you may feel guilty asking your family to put your career first; but, the uniform comes first. It takes priority over everything else. It may not always be that way, but while your spouse serves in uniform the family makes many scarifies, willing or unwilling. So, saying communication is the key to a successful military marriage is an understatement.
In order to survive the battlefield of love and marriage while serving in the military, we created the Marital Rules of Engagement. We had to learn how to truly communicate, respect, trust, love, forgive, and stay committed to each other on the battlefield of marriage. Now we would like to share with you our strategies for having and maintaining a healthy marriage and relationship.
• Marital Rule of Engagement #1 - Communication
• Marital Rule of Engagement #2 - Respect
• Marital Rule of Engagement #3 - Trust
• Marital Rule of Engagement #4 - Love
• Marital Rule of Engagement #5 - Forgiveness
• Marital Rule of Engagement #6 - Commitment
• Marital Rule of Engagement #7 - Faith
Keep in mind that men and women may have a different understanding of what each of these words mean; so, we will begin some rules by giving you the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary definition, then breaking them down to what we, The King’s, translate them to mean.
Communication as defined by the Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary is a “process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs or behavior.” We like to emphasize that in a marriage communication requires listening more than you talk. And please remember that listening is not the same thing as hearing. Hearing refers to the sounds you hear. But, when it comes to listening to your spouse, it requires more than that… it requires focus. Listening means paying attention to not only the words they say but to the message, the meaning, and the delivery. It requires you to pay attention to his or her body language in and out of the bedroom. Having a lasting marriage requires you to listen to learn as you learn to listen. When you communicate with your spouse you must practice active listening: listen to understand, listen without judgment, and don’t interrupt.
1. Practice active listening
“If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear.”—Mark Twain
When you are actively listening to your partner, you will be inclined to ask clarifying questions such as: “What I hear you saying is _____.” or “Did you mean ______?”
2. Listen to understand and show you understood
Listening to understand means that you are not forming your response in your mind. Acknowledge what is being said with a nod, a yes, or an okay. This may seem trivial, but it shows that you are engaged in what is being said and that you comprehend the message.
3. Listen without judgment
Listening without judgment is crucial to a marriage. You have to be open and receptive to what is being said. You have to learn to control your body language, your eye contact, and in some cases rolling your eyes, folding your arms, and shaking your leg in disagreement. Those actions can be very distracting and prevent your partner from opening up in the future.
4. Don’t interrupt
The goal is to give the person speaking the floor. Let them speak uninterrupted without your ifs, ands, buts, or statements like: “If you would have…” or “That didn’t stop you from doing…” This is not the time for a debate. This is the time to try to understand the other person’s point of view. Try to let go of preconceived ideas and reasoning. It is very important to express negative feelings constructively. If and when your spouse says something you disagree with, wait until it’s your turn to talk. Once you have the floor, you should repeat what you heard them say to make sure you are on the same page. Ask clarifying questions like: “Could you clarify what you meant by______?” Communicate with open-ended questions such as: “When did you first start feeling like this?” If what was said seemed like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, then say that; but, say it without an attitude. Try saying, “I’m not sure I understand what you are saying.” Or “I don’t feel clear about the main issue here.” When the lines of trust have been crossed, it is very important to be honest and upfront with questions like: “What will you do to regain my trust?” and “Do you promise to be honest?” If your situation is greater than the two of you can handle, you should seek outside help from a certified or licensed counselor or therapist.