Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse

Johnson David

Description

In a breakthrough book first published in 1991, the authors address the dynamics in churches that can ensnare people in legalism, guilt, and begrudging service, keeping them from the grace and joy of God's kingdom.Written for both those who feel abused and those who may be causing it, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse shows how people get hooked into abusive systems, the impact of controlling leadership on a congregation, and how the abused believer can find rest and recovery.

Sujets

• Philosophie et théologie
• Christianity

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 octobre 2005
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441202420
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

© 1991 by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2011
Ebook corrections 04.18.2016 (VBN), 02.28.2019
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-0242-0
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE,® Copyright © The Lockman Foundation 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977. Used by permission. www.lockman.org
Scripture quotations identified NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations identified AMP are from the Amplified Bible. Old Testament copyright © 1965, 1987 by the Zondervan Corporation. The Amplified New Testament copyright © 1958, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Cover design by Paul Higdon
Dedicated to the weary and heavy laden, deeply loved by God, but because of spiritual abuse, find that the Good News has somehow become the bad news.

Special Thanks from Jeff VanVonderen:
To my mother, Beverly VanVonderen Nyberg. In spite of being surrounded by a shaming religious environment and confused and concerned about my personal struggles, she remained the most unconditionally loving and accepting person in my life.
Special Thanks from David Johnson:
To my father, William Johnson, who through his life and teaching taught me grace and pointed me to Jesus as my only hope. He serves in my life as an example of what it means to open the kingdom of God to people. I am grateful.
To my wife, Bonnie, for knowing and loving me, and for her patience and support on this project.
To my children, Aundrea, Erica, Caleb, and Kristopher for constantly bringing me “home.”
Contents

Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication

Part I: Spiritual Abuse and Its Victims
Author’s Note
Introduction
1. “Help Me. . .”
2. Spiritual Abuse Is Not New
3. Abused Christians
4. The Pre-Abuse Set-up
5. Identifying the Abusive System
6. When You Cannot Leave
7. Abuse and Scripture
8. Revictimizing Victims

Part II: Abusive Leaders and Why They Are Trapped
Introduction
9. “Because I’m the Pastor, That’s Why!”
10. “You Can Trust Me”
11. Image Is Everything
12. Straining Gnats, Swallowing Camels
13. The Weight of Religion
14. “No Admittance”
15. Spreading “the Gospel”
16. The People Get Devoured

Part III: Post-Abuse Recovery
Introduction
17. How to Escape a Spiritual Trap
18. Renewing the Mind
19. Recovering Right Focus
20. One Response: Flight
21. A Second Response: Fight
Epilogue
Message to Perpetrators of Spiritual Abuse
About the Author
Other Books by Jeff VanVonderen
Notes
Back Cover
Part I Spiritual Abuse and Its Victims
Author’s Note
As you read through this book, you will notice we have repeatedly emphasized that the subject matter and guidelines given here must be handled with care. Please take this concern seriously Our stated purpose is to help readers—victims and abusers alike—recognize and escape spiritual manipulation and false spiritual authority within the church.
As some of you read this book, you may find that for the first time you will be able to identify painful feelings long locked within. For others, you may find validation for feelings and perceptions of which you have been aware for a long time, but wondered if you were crazy or way off base. Know this. You can respond and not react. You can take your time to understand the principles we have detailed and weigh the complete message. If you decide through this material that you have been spiritually abused or are presently in a spiritually abusive situation, it is not necessary nor helpful to strike out at the abusers. Reactions that burst from pain and disappointment often feel good and right at the time. But most often they do not build, they hurt your credibility, and sometimes those reactions incur further abuse. Take your time. Emotional healing will come. There is recovery from spiritual abuse.
And there is appropriate and effective confrontation for spiritual abuse. If you are not able to give it immediately, then with some help, support, and healing, you may be able eventually to respond with a settled assurance that is based upon the truth of God’s Word and from a heart that has been renewed by God’s love and His Spirit. And your soft heart won’t feel the need to apologize for it later.
Introduction

Messages From the Heart
David Johnson:
I was not prepared for the look on the unfamiliar woman’s face as she came forward for prayer at the end of a church service. She was teary-eyed, anxious. But most of all, I saw fear. What’s more, as she began to speak, it became apparent what she was afraid of— me!
Instantly, I wondered what I might have said or done to make this simple step so traumatic for her. As we began to talk, however, I realized that she wasn’t afraid of me personally—it was what I represented. I was a pastor, a figure of authority. And not just any authority—a spiritual authority, a “representative of God.” She was terrified of that, and coming to me for prayer was one of the hardest, bravest things she’d ever done.
Later, as I pondered the encounter, I realized that she exhibited the characteristics of an abuse victim. But this time the abuse wasn’t sexual, physical, or emotional; it was, quite possibly, more serious because in most quarters it is a “taboo” subject. Her abuse was spiritual.
In the context of her Christian home and her evangelical church, this woman had been shamed, manipulated and weighed down by a distortion of the gospel. Though Jesus came with “good news” to set us all free, she had been pressed by other Christians to work harder at being “a good Christian.” When she had failed in her honest attempts, she was judged as undisciplined and unwilling—perhaps even unsaved. She tried harder and harder to do all that was prescribed: more Bible reading, more prayer, more financial sacrifice. Finally, exhausted, she had come seeking help. By then she was so sure I, too, was going to judge her that she nearly could not ask for help from one more “spiritual authority.” The good news had become bad news; the message of life had been distorted until it nearly crushed out her inner life.
The result, for her, was that the concept of grace was lost completely, and church in general was no longer a safe place. As a pastor, I stood in the place of the one before me who had wounded her soul.
In over ten years as pastor at Church of the Open Door, I have consistently endeavored to preach the grace of God as our only hope for spiritual life and power; that God moves toward the broken, comforts the mourning, and satisfies the hungry. We consistently confront the pious pretending of pharisaical legalism. What we have noticed is that wounded people get healed, and religious people get angry.
But it was this one woman who opened my eyes to the impact that unhealthy spirituality can have on men, women and children. Whereas Christ has called us to freedom and rest (Hebrews 4), too many in the body of Christ are not encouraging wounded, struggling people to begin their healing by resting in the grace of God, but rather to work harder for the benefits of salvation. And if these “formulas” are questioned, those in spiritual authority often feel threatened. Protecting a doctrine, or their own position, they turn on the very ones who have come seeking help.
What I see in this, I cannot ignore. I see the symptoms of a disease for which I finally found a name: spiritual abuse.
I don’t believe it was coincidence that during the time this woman came to me I was preaching on Matthew 23: This is the passage in which Jesus reveals the marks and the impact of false spiritual leaders, and He declares His mission to protect their victims. As an expository preacher of God’s Word, I am constantly looking for flesh-and-blood ways to illustrate the truths found in Scripture. From my encounter, God gave me a visual aid to help me see the kind of person Jesus was fighting for. In this sense, the Word became flesh, and the concept of spiritual abuse came alive to me.
Though some will balk at the very term “spiritual abuse,” I believe this illness is more widespread than we think. That’s why I have chosen to work on this book. My deepest desire is that this will be a source of help and healing to both victims and perpetrators of spiritual abuse.
Jeff VanVonderen:
Frank had been referred to me by a therapist at a Christian clinic. It seemed he was stuck in his relationship with God, and the therapist thought I could help “unstick” him. I was informed that Frank was extremely reluctant to come and see a minister, but that he would come in for one session, or two at the most.
When Frank came for our appointment, I greeted him and noted that he shook my hand warily.
As we walked toward my office and approached the door, it was almost as if Frank smashed into an invisible barrier. He stopped dead in his tracks, unable to follow me into the office, as if he was not physically capable of entering that particular air space.
It took Frank more than fifteen minutes to actually walk inside my office. Beginning with our first session, and throughout subsequent sessions over the next two years, Frank rel