Family Game

Paul Gaffney

Description

What Sport and Psychology Teach Us About Parenting 'It's no accident, I think, that tennis uses the language of life. Advantage, service, fault, break, love, the basic elements of tennis are those of everyday existence, because every match is a life in miniature.'Andre AgassiDr. Paul Gaffney has used his experience of working as a clinical and counselling psychologist with children, adults and families experiencing a wide range of problems, and with athletes and coaches striving for excellence, to write this book which will outline practical strategies for living better lives together. The book takes its lead from the stories of inspirational sportspeople and teams. These are supported by, and linked to, psychological knowledge and practice. Sport can reflect all that is good and bad in people. We have seen fabulous success achieved following great dedication, world class performances reflecting incredible skill and a win at all costs attitude leading to, in some cases, cheating and doping. In sport as in life, we can experience the entire rollercoaster of emotions: elation, heartbreak, exhaustion, vindication, hopefulness or helplessness. This book aims to help parents and families face up to and deal with 20 difficult questions, and provide clear advice, direction and resources. It will show you practical things you can try and idea for further reading and information to help you and your family.

Sujets

• Sociologie, société et politique
• Sport psychology

Informations

• Publié par: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Date de parution: 28 février 2018
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781789010732
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 3 Mo

Extrait

About the Author
Dr. Paul Gaffney is a Clinical Psychologist who works with children, adults & families. He was born in Keady, Co. Armagh and completed his Psychology degree at Queen’s University Belfast, and Masters in Counselling Psychology and Doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Trinity College Dublin, where he remains a clinical tutor involved in the training of psychologists. He is a Chartered Clinical Psychologist with both the Psychological Society of Ireland and the British Psychological Society, and lives in Cavan.

He is a Consultant Tutor with the Association for Psychological Therapies (APT), and High Performance Sport Clinical Psychologist with the Sport Ireland Institute (SII).

He is the author of On the Ball: How football can help your mental health , and enjoys a broad range of research and clinical interests, especially making effective mental health interventions more readily and broadly accessible.
Praise for The Family Game
In his previous book On the Ball: How football can help your mental health, Dr Paul Gaffney described the many ways in which the language and currency of football can enhance communication and understanding when dealing with mental health issues. He takes this metaphor several stages further in his new book The Family Game where the focus moves from the individual to the group. The book addresses the onerous task of parenting in a sympathetic, practical and balanced way. The book takes an enlightened approach to the challenge of dealing with failure. The importance of this concept is further reinforced by the inclusion of a series of inspirational stories, all of which testify to the extraordinary courage and resilience of ordinary people. Many readers of this book, particularly parents, will be greatly encouraged by its contents. Many more will feel that they are receiving advice from a wise friend.

Dr. Paddy Rudden, General Practitioner.


As a Paediatrician, a husband and a parent of four children myself, I am very conscious of the challenge of raising a healthy, well-rounded child in today’s complex environment. Dr. Paul Gaffney’s The Family Game is a great place to start. This book is full of empathy and caring for the parent and the child. Using analogies from the world of sport, the author provides a wealth of practical tips and tools for dealing with the more common parenting challenges. The book is written in a very accessible style, using clear language to explore every-day family problems and describe solutions that might be considered. On each topic the book helpfully guides the reader to additional written and on-line material. This book is an invaluable piece of kit for those in The Family Game.

Dr. Alan Finan, Consultant Paediatrician.


This book helps us better understand some of the key challenges of parenting today by using examples in sport to illustrate key ideas. Paul generously shares his extensive experience as a clinician with his personal experience as a father, resulting in one of the most helpful parenting books I have read. The suggestions for parents in the book are very practical and the numerous and varied resources included throughout are invaluable.

Dr. Siobhain McArdle, School of Health & Human Performance, Dublin City University.


The Family Game is full of expert advice on family life in today’s world told in a warm and witty way, and crammed with wisdom and insight. Such an enjoyable and educational book.

Tom Cahill, Social Care Projects Manager.


The Family Game is written for parents, students, therapists and anyone who has ever been part of a family. It is full of practical key ideas and things to try. These are set in a non-judgemental context where Paul reminds us to be caring to ourselves and others. In sport, there is an acceptance that no athlete gets it right all of the time. In contrast, today’s parents often hold ourselves to high standards of perfection. Paul reminds us that good enough parenting sprinkled with compassion is more likely to lead to long term contentedness in relationships for everyone.

Dr Sinead Reynolds, Speech and Language Therapist/ Developmental Psychologist,
HSE Mental Health Division.


The Family Game is an excellent resource for any family and should be recommended reading for all parents. Paul has a great ability to address the range of difficult challenges in family life in an accessible and empathic manner. His approach is very practical and each chapter provides you with thoughts to consider and approaches to try together with suggestions for further reading or online resources. Interwoven with this practical advice are numerous stories and anecdotes from the world of sport that exemplify and bring a broader perspective to the business of embracing a fulfilling, eventful, unpredictable and happy life.

Phil Moore, Director Performance Services,
Sport Ireland Institute.


Dr. Gaffney hijacks the reader’s attention with consummate ease and injects optimism. The combination of keeping cool under duress and pointers to relevant sources of information is uplifting and sets this book head and shoulders above its competitors. Signposts for further reading from a personal and ultimately professional perspective is a goldmine for me as a clinician, and I am grateful this book exists. A welcome antidote to the relentless ‘perfect parenting’ ethos marring the very essence of family, this work reads like a long conversation with a valued friend. I have no hesitation in recommending to clients and family alike. It should be required reading for influencers and policy makers as a blueprint for clinically informed and true family-centric narratives.

Dr. Grainne Kelly, Principal Specialist Clinical Psychologist, National Children’s Hospital.


In his new book, Paul offers great help and support in a most delicate and important of areas, The Family. Reading the text, I hear his kind and caring words come off the page as he gives us options and resources that might just help us on our way. As a sports fan, I particularly like the referrals to great sporting figures of our time and what we can learn from these people and their experiences. A magnificent, brilliantly researched piece of work, Paul cares, and this book will support your own care with practical advice that may very well help The Family Game.

David Kearney, High Performance Director,
Irish Ladies Golf Union.
The Family Game

What sport and psychology teach us about parenting





Dr Paul Gaffney
Copyright © 2018 Dr Paul Gaffney

The moral right of the author has been asserted.

Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

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ISBN 9781789010732

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

Matador® is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd
For Amy & Geraldine, the Gaffneys and the Slatterys.


In Memory of
Dr. Paul Lyons
1968–2014
“At its best, sport is beautiful. Whether it’s a dipping volley into the top corner, a 147 break, a home run, a nine-dart finish or a hole in one, such moments make us all gasp.”
Clyde Brolin

“It’s no accident, I think, that tennis uses the language of life. Advantage, service, fault, break, love, the basic elements of tennis are those of everyday existence, because every match is a life in miniature”.
Andre Agassi

“Sport can help people in the most profound ways, on the field and up in the stands. It can help make sense of life and connect people in difficulty to a world they have fallen out of and to which they fear they may never return”.
Paul Hayward
Contents
Foreword
Introduction

1. What do I Know?
2. Why is play so important?
3. How come I feel so exhausted all the time?
4. What is the best way to manage difficult behaviour?
5. Why is the role of the mother so important?
6. How come I can never seem to get organised?
7. Why is forgiveness so important?
8. What about me?
9. Is it different for fathers?
10. How come sometimes it all seems worth it?
11. How can I help my family come to terms with death and bereavement?
12. How can I help prevent re-creating my own painful past?
13. How can I help my family stay safe on the internet & social media?
14. Why can’t they just get on?
15. How come one size does not fit all?
16. How can I keep my cool?
17. Why is failing the best way to succeed?
18. How can I help my family in times of crisis?
19. What helps when illness strikes our family?
20. In the end, what’s most important?

Bibliography & Further Reading
Acknowledgements
Foreword
Paul Gaffney is a great teacher and he draws on many other natural teachers who impart wisdom through word and deed. Paul is an alchemist who blends his deep knowledge of therapy and health promotion with precious raw materials from the sporting world, as well as ot