How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children

Allison Bottke

Description

What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child's mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it's difficult to know what your ';help' as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries(R) with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such asdrug addictionmental and emotional disabilitiesmilitary trauma and PTSDpersonality disordersfinancial troubledepression and bipolardivorceincarcerationand so much moreWhether you're facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult childwithout sacrificing your sanity.

Informations

• Publié par: Harvest House Publishers
• Date de parution: 08 janvier 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780736962407
• Langue: English

Extrait

Endorsements
Allison Bottke has once again written a book that will capture your heart. Much like her acclaimed Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children , this long-awaited follow-up will captivate you from the very first paragraph. Allison s transparency is powerful. Relating to some of the stories in this book almost took my breath away. As a mother with troubled adult children, I often feel no matter the age of my children, the labor pains never seem to end. How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children is insightful, informative and inspiring-a true page-turner. At last someone is addressing the opioid epidemic and the associated issues of emotional and mental illness boldly and without fear.
Sharon Hill, founder, On Call Prayer Ministries and senior executive vice president of Christian Women in Media Association
The pain of a parent can run very deep, believe me. I know this personally. Many of us are facing serious relationship challenges that must be addressed. Allison writes candidly and openly from her own experiences and broken heart. Her brutal honesty combined with practical insight has produced a self-help book that is concise and will prove effective for so many. How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children is a must-read for hurting parents.
Dr. Victoria Sarvadi, teacher of Hebraic studies and Selah finalist author of Just a Little Girl
Allison Bottke has learned how to live a healthy life-a sane life-despite the drama a troubled adult child often brings into their relationship. Her courageous candidness and words of wisdom give parents the strength and hope needed to make choices that will benefit everyone involved. Help awaits in the pages of what is certain to be a landmark book. How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children will empower millions of weary, broken-hearted parents and be a catalyst for the restoration of families all over the world.
Andy Lee, author of A Mary Like Me
No one understands the pain the effort the hoped-for joy of connecting with troubled adult children as much as those who have walked the path. Those who have fought the fight. Those whose knees are calloused from hours in prayer. Those who have put their trust in the Supreme Parent, but who also know that, as in all battles, we soldiers have armor to don. We have ammunition to use. Allison Bottke knows. She understands. Trust me; you can trust her with this.
Eva Marie Everson, bestselling, award-winning author, www.evamarieeversonauthor.com
What do I do? Who do I call? Why is this happening? Parents of troubled adult children are often left feeling bamboozled. While we often support the decision to give our kids tough love, we seldom shine the same critical light on ourselves. In her newest book, Allison gives us-the adult parents- tough love. She lays it out as you ve never heard it before! Practical, hopeful, and sometimes hard to hear, her SANITY strategies must be implemented to keep parents healthy, financially secure, and most important, spiritually and mentally sane!
Dr. Euphemia Gans, author of What Is a Learning Organization? Ethics and Critical Thinking Journal
In How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children , Allison Bottke captures the painful reality that many of the children we once knew are no longer with us. As she writes, Layer by layer, we see our kids buried along with our hopes and dreams for them. Addressing the painful topics of drug abuse and emotional and mental illness, this is a book whose time has come. With her trademark tenacity and transparency, Allison s advice stoked the fire of hope and joy in my spirit. Once again, Allison has given us a fresh perspective on the reappearance of Jesus and the possibility of restoration even in the most difficult passages of life when we love a troubled adult child. She s been there and knows of what she speaks.
Jonathan Settel, international messianic recording artist
What can you do when parenting gets painfully complicated? When substance abuse has transformed the child you love into a stranger you don t recognize? How can your actions be helpful and not harmful when your adult child s mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health issues are driving you to despair? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it s difficult to know what your help as a parent should look like. What is God really calling you to do? In a world desperate for answers and direction, there is no greater champion than Allison Bottke for broken-hearted parents who struggle in challenging relationships with their adult children. Allison bares her soul in an inspiring book that is destined to change lives and restore relationships. How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children will become the go-to resource for Christian parents, grandparents, counselors, and therapists as it addresses drug addiction and emotional and mental illness from a spiritual perspective.
Ann White, founder, executive director of Courage for Life and author of Courage for Life and She Is Strong and Courageous
A LLISON B OTTKE

HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE , OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version , NIV . Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
Verses marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Verses marked ESV are taken from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version ), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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Verses marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version . Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Cover by Aesthetic Soup, Shakoppe, Minnesota
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SETTING BOUNDARIES is a registered trademark of The Hawkins Children s LLC. Harvest House Publishers, Inc. is the exclusive licensee of the federally registered trademark SETTING BOUNDARIES.
Published in association with the literary agency of The Steve Laube Agency, LLC, 24 W. Camelback Rd. A-635, Phoenix, Arizona 85013.
The names and identifying information of the people discussed in this book have been changed to protect their identities and to respect their confidentiality.
This book is not intended to take the place of professional medical or psychological advice. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes any liability for possible adverse consequences as a result of the information contained herein.
How to Connect with Your Troubled Adult Children
Copyright 2018 by Allison Bottke
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97408
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-6239-1 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-6240-7 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Bottke, Allison author.
Title: How to connect with your troubled adult children / Allison Bottke.
Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, [2018] | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018030161 (print) | LCCN 2018037850 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736962407 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736962391 | ISBN 9780736962391(paperback) | ISBN 9780736962407(eBook)
Subjects: LCSH: Parent and adult child-Religious aspects-Christianity.
Classification: LCC BV4529 (ebook) | LCC BV4529 .B6748 2018 (print) | DDC 248.8/45-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018030161
All rights reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Dedication
Mom
Who taught me compassion and character by example.
Christopher
No matter what, I will always love you, my precious son.
Lori Jo Eleazer
A living, breathing blessing from God.
Parents and Grandparents
The reason I write about broken hearts and lost dreams.
You will always be the wind beneath my wings.
Your faith, hope, and trust in God is what empowers and strengthens me.
Never forget
With God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26
Contents
Endorsements
Dedication
1. This Isn t How Life Is Supposed to Be
2. Taking Rightful Control of Your Home, Your Story, Your Life
3. SANITY Strategies: S top, A ssemble, N ip, I mplement, T rust, Y ield
4. Experiencing Spiritual Growth and Establishing Healthy Boundaries
5. A Heart Guarded by God s Love
6. Inside and Outside: What s Really Going On?
7. Befuddled Brains: Substance Abuse and Mental Illness
8. Diagnosis and Prognosis
9. Dangerous and Defiant
10. Connecting Can Be Complicated
11. Connecting Needs to Be Compassionate
12. The Power of Love and Forgiveness
13. Tough Decisions for Healthy Transformation
14. Healthy Support and Compassionate Communication
15. When Your Troubled Adult Child Lives with You
16. Put It in Writing
17. When Is It Time to Let Go?
A Final Word
Appendix A: SANITY Support-Residential Agreement Between Parents and Adult Children Living at Home
Appendix B: Sample Letters
Notes