Tales of St. Austin's

P. G. (Pelham Grenville) Wodehouse

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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of St. Austin's, by P. G. Wodehouse #18 in our series by P. G. WodehouseCopyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the copyright laws for your country before downloadingor redistributing this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do notchange or edit the header without written permission.Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of thisfile. Included is important information about your specific rights and restrictions in how the file may be used. You can alsofind out about how to make a donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts****eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971*******These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!*****Title: Tales of St. Austin'sAuthor: P. G. WodehouseRelease Date: November, 2004 [EBook #6980] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was firstposted on February 19, 2003] [Date last updated: January 22, 2005]Edition: 10Language: English*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF ST. AUSTIN'S ***This eBook was produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading TeamTALES OF ST AUSTIN'Sby P. G. Wodehouse1903PREFACEMost of these ...

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• Publié par: mazong
• Publié le: 08 décembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 26
• Langue: English

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Title: Tales of St. Austin's Author: P. G. Wodehouse Release Date: November, 2004 [EBook #6980] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on February 19, 2003] [Date last updated: January 22, 2005] Edition: 10 Language: English

**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** **eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** *****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!*****

Most of these stories originally appeared in The Captain . I am indebted to the Editor of that magazine for allowing me to republish. The rest are from the Public School Magazine . The story entitled 'A Shocking Affair' appears in print for the first time. 'This was one of our failures.'

START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF ST. AUSTIN'S *** ***

PREFACE

This eBook was produced by Suzanne L. Shell, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

TALES OF ST AUSTIN'S

by P. G. Wodehouse 1903

.PG  .oWedoh

[Dedication] AD MATREM

sue

as 'P diekra O' .r  dh,'tone  b aan  uots ow ttiu  pbefore Saturday, aw tahW . og eht sfrf  oodifs ndie s iass',llni diPt, igshoablyrrit lis  tkeesggonti?tah

[1] HOW PILLINGSHOT SCORED

1 How Pillingshot Scored 2 The Odd Trick 3 L'Affaire Uncle John (A Story in Letters) 4 Harrison's Slight Error 5 Bradshaw's Little Story 6 A Shocking Affair 7 The Babe and the Dragon 8 The Manoeuvres of Charteris 9 How Payne Bucked Up 10 Author! 11 'The Tabby Terror' 12 The Prize Poem 13 Work 14 Notes 15 Now, Talking About Cricket— 16 The Tom Brown Question

uld only they cooiit cusm ka edi ONTENTSC ingsPillteussgdis wae  H.deyonna saw toh iL s ,yvllaiih yis dacgrd haenbeamtsreh felu . Aight to as the r  fo tros taht yas kelie  hifg intho  fo en tsi.sI tes uisiperqthe   md,tioredfino; hto w re dro rofit. He had no obejtcoi,no  focru Mto, seisllMer   gniyas h sih tahtk du wor thering,ma t repscedne  fet hogsinllPi, yadrutaS gniwolle fon thit o in ogenah deh ysat  e ere thhe T wreg eh.emaiyalt gnas not ped. It w exeecde tlt ah h t tuohtiw hcuot a o  tont e,rvseobw ehB tuw ne nehhe pof tion.osit  ehtyviL sa  rafxa enamiontin  ieherw uodlb  ena  of shame, that t y n uo noo anitaxim le omiddthe  in  uB .ylgnidrocca  eang inpr stot   ,aw snui  tewerand unspderhand o mro tuht fet eky sas, a f uebl se w Thofairere gu.he on nkwe Y uoatinamext  ansio dne eht.mret fo and could make yuo rraargnmenestxa elycthe wthn w ye ereimoc ,gn  remthat Canark.,rw ' iSar wtidhtans intor, lynttaht lecemetats  desk, fixed him w otM  reMllsi'h s  ae, rndaremd,ke htilb anizaye g owluH  ewo.ntod s fot hid pucoul pu deklats evaho  tedik lvehad  tod  otaw uodln ike, andortsmanl taht eh siw  dehngliotsh ll a il . P xen noitdrutaS td—An. ayale (h' i tnomtst ihnodest os lavatibser illihsgns'tocer tiep oonthf nee sw ,t'eherw li lbe a Livy examina Mer  Midsa' s,Yebuort ton ,hsilleal conc to lingtaP pm hrtuiih s dsoro  t' —! wor.tce tahW tahtffe  say was: he did i-r-!! ' '' oO ,is  f'senri Pd,keardiasliP gniltohslow, isn't it?' ,si  tsir taeh r cos itn  Ye . ' seurorp dah o dedeech thwhicssone le hstoilgn et r '. fA ,dehliP p ylsinusey reved.heer Vylp nusi eesever, will bper cent ytfif ,tohsgnilil , P ntcer pey ft tif teg sond eo whobody'anyon)— P liilgnhsto ' .  Ishould advise yo '.wo tuB'ahw ma t t I do o  r?'edav ilhsM lea wl .eHhas ays  omeh you s oitanimaahT' .sne ths t'oft rswoence to al referL vi yxeim-detmrhe tit chtigofs s hticepneziiw , ing tirr a sd ofht r eo  nsrsuxeuchogsinllPis  ar,ne eht ot emac t

He retired, brooding, to his house. The day was Wednesday. There were only two more days, therefore, in which to prepare a quarter of a book of Livy. It couldn't be done. The thing was not possible. In the house he met Smythe. 'What are you going to do about it?' he inquired. Smythe was top of the form, and if he didn't know how to grapple with a crisis of this sort, who could know? 'If you'll kindly explain,' said Smythe, 'what the dickens you are talking about, I might be able to tell you.' Pillingshot explained, with unwonted politeness, that 'it' meant the Livy examination. 'Oh,' said Smythe, airily, 'that! I'm just going to skim through it in case I've forgotten any of it. Then I shall read up the notes carefully. And then, if I have time, I shall have a look at the history of the period. I should advise you to do that, too.' 'Oh, don't be a goat,' said Pillingshot. And he retired, brooding, as before. That afternoon he spent industriously, copying out the fourth book of The Aeneid . At the beginning of the week he had had a slight disagreement with M. Gerard, the French master. Pillingshot's views on behaviour and deportment during French lessons did not coincide with those of M. Gerard. Pillingshot's idea of a French lesson was something between a pantomime rally and a scrum at football. To him there was something wonderfully entertaining in the process of 'barging' the end man off the edge of the form into space, and upsetting his books over him. M. Gerard, however, had a very undeveloped sense of humour. He warned the humorist twice, and on the thing happening a third time, suggested that he should go into extra lesson on the ensuing Wednesday. So Pillingshot went, and copied out Virgil. He emerged from the room of detention at a quarter past four. As he came out into the grounds he espied in the middle distance somebody being carried on a stretcher in the direction of the School House. At the same moment Parker loomed in sight, walking swiftly towards the School shop, his mobile features shining with the rapt expression of one who sees much ginger-beer in the near future. 'Hullo, Parker,' said Pillingshot, 'who's the corpse?' 'What, haven't you heard?' said Parker. 'Oh, no, of course, you were in extra. It's young Brown. He's stunned or something ' . 'How did it happen?' 'That rotter, Babington, in Dacre's. Simply slamming about, you know, getting his eye in before going in, and Brown walked slap into one of his drives. Got him on the side of the head.' 'Much hurt?' 'Oh, no, I don't think so. Keep him out of school for about a week.' 'Lucky beast. Wish somebody would come and hit me on the head. Come and hit me on the head, Parker.' 'Come and have an ice,' said Parker. 'Right-ho,' said Pillingshot. It was one of his peculiarities, that whatever the hour or the state of the weather, he was always equal to consuming an ice. This was probably due to genius. He had an infinite capacity for taking pains. Scarcely was he outside the promised ice when another misfortune came upon him. Scott, of the First Eleven, entered the shop. Pillingshot liked Scott, but he was not blind to certain flaws in the latter's character. For one thing, he was too energetic. For another, he could not keep his energy to himself. He was always making Pillingshot do things. And Pillingshot's notion of the ideal life was complete dolce far niente . 'Ginger-beer, please,' said Scott, with parched lips. He had been bowling at the nets, and the day was hot. 'Hullo! Pillingshot, you young slacker, why aren't you changed? Been bunking half-holiday games? You'd better reform, young man.' 'I've been in extra ' said Pillingshot, with dignity. , 'How many times does that make this term? You're going for the record, aren't you? Jolly sporting of you. Bit slow in there, wasn't it? 'Nother ginger-beer, please.' 'Just a bit,' said Pillingshot.

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'He nged  there's q debirco retrauou hanf as wher  peni gtiw ra mofr you. Shovel it  eci s ', diatocS 't,veI'ee bken   !rekciuq ,nam ,rkeicQu. tsnee thof rni gattrebs  to want. I down ti r niF .G .tof oas wor p iasitf t noug enu doyrull it roDon't ro shnifit t bu, edohsgnillon dah t  Comght..' Pi e on?dT sieh sirah't ou w hlde avenbe eh ,dahaht ti tly believed thatcSto tose ivedtn d pethwiu yocaes .yreneG tuoujniowever, rally, hb muep dht eabllou yedivprded anteet ro dniw fo  to t dingccorh, a w ih totiehgehh i hcor t .esb eHanegol pelit by,tuf rilm,yt  oxecuse himself. 'Doklat t'ns ',tor otScd aiplom ct,gnyliainuom  ,y'haveust e ex somni gaf.tg  oegttr you'llercise o b dlu ot e i woow tt habla hi T wnk  foy,ti sgohllni, Pimilyr fa you fI .pu kcuB .ergufir ou ystlou  in a quarter ofoy'uerb ca keher hlle a av thno ier  na ruohuoy ahs  ling Pil, prshot Aalec .ci,egr e iofk in  whe ' T t.pxis ecihT .ecne  young Pp field,saa d eeimgno  n'roucoe  aich 'Y r.d a -kce ti morfched e wat  havouldehc i  fomeri  tedoynj evehad ulow eh taht tlef b tuP liilgnhstotion of hitting,a sanif xe eibihhe tie f. ld wIt et uq opis  rforaet  thed toy op verab eht deraos ll  p alicusan,  nklo ah d a dohsgah tatimace remont i ahevs mo  loga dn f Pillin e tea.' 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T atre the fmroatlbm so tocinto therelief, hgis fo tiw  a hmshif,elflo g in w rehtartub ,mrawot ha tttmat n' githtsl httani gve? I  sto  be t'lluc eaobp .dr uoYghmiwet h ig winre .hTre era eosme muffins in th ou yhe Ty.dato re  enog s'kcorc gn d myfrai'm a, 'I eeht'b w nof ga . ng wSoom shietnim uj ddluouoy mumps, oand got gaeu ,ro rht elp Bu. het as wec dnoit fo  ehtpohscious nature of S ieev dybt ehs ep  rnsioisfobee osr s'ttocV .krameng bittiin oack sie erh fos ey s sciseh , ehtsalc wceh itaiquannthtsip iovrdea  tave obse would h al a edam dna ,' osnaDa eoim ' T , nt riceehd nit tr ylibefor ash st d deS octtt  oih sstudy. The classlacirap ellaot lis h tusiioatisn w let ehwo n-lnk of caseoystthe ehT .sre ,oot ,yag erewe tor fer ott's arne of Scw tahcnicmahri,sastongtia g g fa ihw , h hc fum snif tualevenuld e woiwhtct hsiapyld meoynj eidguan lwollof eh oS .tn e muffins, when hsdet aotsni ghtnd aen Vleab os, ehtroodepo ,den throied as dugh uodlgnw acrrb  e  jad hotnifit usP .derise hsgnilli tt',s iaoo,nS ocs aftern tea thii deno n tsukool. es j'IVed blnagutht oh .n I' emi , cale'srevaf Me tuoba gnihtemos ay sou yrdea h I ,yasuoy  hgimur tovn  terGeo anrm yna dikllt ehK aiser, will you, a ekam ohtiw yawer Ghe tpeEmn mah  eor,r dahowluaid,ve s, I  'Oh itwa, edt ead an ehtsaelhtiw tuoin his mt doubt t eht ihni dhtta d oo g a'srehe tl eb t'noD ?pahc woud he' Anong. n s aatekva edlh   Say wheou cttcoelbakramt tuoba   som wasng re ethiseeteruqeher.dT di, asd e  hs wasih cov luba)yralimited state ofsd( nit eht eh n t nissassa na erhio  tonsicaocd  dah eahfIh  et.dgranfor ing rythekateve deme ot  Hm.see fos hir odt ihgnpoelt  os get peld alway  ewaF ri nA d ya'. t coScotted llec ignah s'G .pu gn Gt? iotn.mad oo-gofkro  nht eawll somewhere. It  htimehtoY .ll'u ndfihe toa tinst ngs eeli ith f t, w w rof roedpeot o rtfoom clfseim hohsgnilliP .elbamixed bi tin of na damedcsiust ,onhi ts,vefius ca ,sa dnc owriah dicca taht gnihtro Bngou yoft eni ?tnst' ,awnws'. 'Ccottid S' sa'nthot tspahguo ngmibo ao  gamslhttaw titul ki e ld full  h the fieloel fofsuI . wseh esoppb t'now ght e riext by ndryaaSut'? olhoAt. thn Sce msdli netseteif  the hot? One ofilgnhstonkwoP li en Vn.he e t ncsif fo delooc ylbabos pr He'now.ust saj ehw ts ,l ae  eht,aetliP gnil B a .k uc wuph it,ta dn v   ci eevsr ables—Pillingsho ' '.nigeb  yltsaeB ghmie  w t oslm t a oo d?yG N woam.n. Whshotreadat,  ifsna  tnaycm fue of yeathis tim .ecnooG eht ahc  ma,  Fn!ea d Hnsve rsiemetreom ehte?' ' shadthe  in neppah uoy oD !rtht ha wowkno  t ribute my entires cuecssi  nilefkeTa s at,easa' S dittocI' .tta o hot to eatt toifsnm fuy uo .oDe tho  tha tctfaeven I ti dnif r