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TOBOGGANING ON PARNASSUS By FRANKLIN P. ADAMS
Juliet Sutherland, Charles Franks and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, TOBOGGANING ON PARNASSUS ***
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Title: Tobogganing On Parnassus Author: Franklin P. Adams Release Date: July, 2004 [EBook #6122] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on November 14, 2002] Edition: 10 Language: English
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CONTENTS
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Sometimes Shakespeare hit the slide, Not to mention Pope or Milton; Some of Southey's stuff is snide. Some of Spenser's simply Stilton.
All of Browning isn't great; There are slipshod lines in Shelley; Every one knows Homer's fate; Some of Keats is vermicelli.
Wordsworth wrote some tawdry stuff; Much of Moore I have forgotten; Parts of Tennyson are guff; Bits of Byron, too, are rotten.
Us Poets
Rubber-Stamp Humour
When one has to boil the pot, One can't always watch the kittle. You may credit it or not— Now and thenIslump a little!
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ewerla lem n fow; Ilovefor but detam selpuoc fIeftcp resk ;c ooHoos If authier torw srooob on e ; kshof I srsea wlya sow;nIf people in thealf ba t evoreW sie ntles ae th If ve; graverystw ocnugi noferav stoe onpre eriat fI ;e not dunlors did—"
If there were no such thing as booze; If wifey's mother never came To visit; if a foot-ball game Were mild and harmless sport; If all the Presidential news Were colourless; if there were men At every mountain, sea-side, glen, River and lake resort—
If office boys were not all cranks On base-ball; if the selling price Of meat and coal and eggs and ice Would stop its mad increase; If women started saying "Thanks" When men gave up their seats in cars; If there were none but good cigars, And better yet police—
"Carpe Diem," or Cop the Day
Nix on the Persian pretence! Myrtle for Quintus H. Flaccus! Wreaths of the linden tree, hence! Nix on the Persian pretence! Waiter, here's seventy cents— Come, let me celebrate Bacchus! Nix on the Persian pretence! Myrtle for Quintus H. Flaccus.
"Persicos odi, puer, apparatus.
Horace: Book I, Ode 32.
AD PUERUM
The Simple Stuff
UCLED A
If automobiles always ran As advertised in catalogues; If tramps were not afraid of dogs; If servants never left; If comic songs would always scan; If Alfred Austin were sublime; If poetry would always rhyme; If authors all were deft—
If every girl were fair of face; If women did not fear to get Their suits for so-called bathing wet— If all these things were true, This earth would be a pleasant place. But where would people get their laughs? And whence would spring the paragraphs? And what would jokers do?
NOEON
Code McDonald’sTM Monopoly
Code McDonald’sTM Monopoly
