Breakup 2.0

Ilana Gershon

Description

A few generations ago, college students showed their romantic commitments by exchanging special objects: rings, pins, varsity letter jackets. Pins and rings were handy, telling everyone in local communities that you were spoken for, and when you broke up, the absence of a ring let everyone know you were available again. Is being Facebook official really more complicated, or are status updates just a new version of these old tokens?Many people are now fascinated by how new media has affected the intricacies of relationships and their dissolution. People often talk about Facebook and Twitter as platforms that have led to a seismic shift in transparency and (over)sharing. What are the new rules for breaking up? These rules are argued over and mocked in venues from the New York Times to lamebook.com, but well-thought-out and informed considerations of the topic are rare.Ilana Gershon was intrigued by the degree to which her students used new media to communicate important romantic information-such as "it's over." She decided to get to the bottom of the matter by interviewing seventy-two people about how they use Skype, texting, voice mail, instant messaging, Facebook, and cream stationery to end relationships. She opens up the world of romance as it is conducted in a digital milieu, offering insights into the ways in which different media influence behavior, beliefs, and social mores.Above all, this full-fledged ethnography of Facebook and other new tools is about technology and communication, but it also tells the reader a great deal about what college students expect from each other when breaking up-and from their friends who are the spectators or witnesses to the ebb and flow of their relationships. The Breakup 2.0 is accessible and riveting.

Sujets

• Dating
• Social media
• Social network service
• Media studies
• Médias sociaux

Informations

• Publié par: Cornell University Press
• Date de parution: 15 décembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780801458637
• Langue: English

Extrait

The Breakup 2.0

The Breakup 2.0 Disconnecting over New Media

Ilana Gershon

Cornell University Press Ithaca and London

Copyright © 2010 by Cornell University

All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in a review, this book, or parts thereof, must not be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher. For information, address Cornell University Press, Sage House, 512 East State Street, Ithaca, New York 14850.

First published 2010 by Cornell University Press

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress CataloginginPublication Data

Gershon, Ilana.  The breakup 2.0 : disconnecting over new media / Ilana Gershon.  p. cm.  Includes bibliographical references and index.  ISBN 9780801448591 (cloth : alk. paper)  1. Digital media—Social aspects. 2. Digital media— Psychological aspects. 3. Separation (Psychology)— Technological innovations—Social aspects. 4. Rejection (Psychology)—Technological innovations—Social aspects. 5. Interpersonal communication—Technological innovations—Social aspects. 6. Online etiquette. I. Title.  HM851.G4723 2010  303.48'33—dc22 2010001008

Cornell University Press strives to use environmentally responsible suppliers and materials to the fullest extent possible in the publish ing of its books. Such materials include vegetablebased, lowVOC inks and acidfree papers that are recycled, totally chlorinefree, or partly composed of nonwood fibers. For further information, visit our website at www.cornellpress.cornell.edu.

Cloth printing

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

For my students

Contents

Acknowledgments ix Introduction1 1 Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover: Media Ideologies  and Idioms of Practice16 2 Email My Heart: The Structure of Technology  and Heartache50 3 Remediation and Heartache91 4 How Do You Know?122 5 Breaking Up in a Public165 Conclusion197 Bibliography 203 Index 209

Acknowledgments

y biggest debt is to my students, who provided me with this M research topic and then generously and patiently tolerated my enthusiasm for teaching almost every theoretical point by using examples about how people use technologies to break up. My un dergraduates responded by explaining to me how their practices were changing, and corrected my misapprehensions. My graduate students in my seminar on publics were invaluable in helping me work out the ideas for the last chapter. While my students introduced me to this project, Lauren Leve told me this should be a book. I can’t remember exactly what we were talking about—probably neoliberalism—when I mentioned to her that I had an interesting conversation in class about medi ated breakups. I told her I was thinking of writing an article or two about new media and breakups, but I hadn’t decided yet whether I should. Lauren told me that it had to be a book. And, of course, she was right. I want to thank everyone who shared their stories and thoughts with me about how they and others have been using communi cative technologies in the often painful process of disconnecting with others. I have promised to use pseudonyms or else I would thank them here by name. Several people helped me to either find