Have a New Teenager by Friday

Kevin Leman Dr.

Description

Parents may survive the terrible twos and the first years of school all right, but the teenage years bring entirely new and alien creatures. So, parents have a choice: either send that teenager to boarding school and visit him when he reaches normalcy again (in about ten years) or choose to experience the best, most fun years of life--together! The secret is in how the parental cards are played.With his signature wit and commonsense psychology, internationally recognized family expert and New York Times bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman helps parentscommunicate with the "whatever" generationestablish healthy boundaries and workable guidelinesgain respect--even admiration--from their teenagerturn selfish behavior aroundnavigate the critical years with confidencepack their teenager's bags with what they need for life now and in the futurebecome the major difference maker in their teenager's lifeTeenagers can successfully face the many temptations of adolescence and grow up to be great adults. And parents, Dr. Leman says, are the ones who can make all the difference, because they count far more in their teenager's life than they'll ever know . . . even if their teenager won't admit it (at least until she's in college and wants to know how to do the laundry).

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 septembre 2011
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441233998
• Langue: English

Extrait

Do you know this person? He eats cereal out of a large mixing bowl. Her bedroom looks like a garbage dump . . . on a good day. She changes outfits three times before breakfast. If there was an Academy Award for eye-rolling, he’d win. Her favorite sport is talking back. His earbuds are permanently glued to his ears. She can text like a mad woodpecker while watching The Bachelor , listening to her favorite music, and doing her homework. Some days he thinks that you, his parent, are the dumbest creature who ever walked this earth.
Congratulations! You have a teenager in your home.
Life will never quite be the same again (you already know that). But it can be better than you’ve ever dreamed .
I guarantee it.
Start Reading
© 2011 by Dr. Kevin Leman
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
E-book edition created 2011
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
ISBN 978-1-4412-3399-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
Scripture quotations are from The Living Bible , copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
To protect the privacy of those who have shared their stories with the author, some details and names have been changed.
The internet addresses, email addresses, and phone numbers in this book are accurate at the time of publication. They are provided as a resource. Baker Publishing Group does not endorse them or vouch for their content or permanence.
To my little muffin,
aka Lauren, LB, Lorney, Lorney Beth,
the last Leman child to leave the nest
May your best dreams come true. I really can’t wait to see what you accomplish in life.
Your compassion for others, your work ethic, and your friendly, outgoing nature—not to mention your downright loveliness—will take you to great heights. So fly, my sweet angel, fly!
I love you,
Dad (and Mom too)
Contents
Cover
Teaser
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction : I’m Telling You, They’ll Get Weirder than Weird
You’ve just entered the Great Metamorphosis.
Monday : He Used to Be Normal. What Happened?
This alien creature didn’t just morph overnight. How to make adjustments for your new life together.
Tuesday : Talking to the “Whatever” Generation
Getting beyond the crossed arms, the grunt, the staring out the car window, and the “whatever” comments to reach your child’s heart.
Wednesday : Belonging Matters More than You Think
How to keep your teenager in your world while traveling through his or her world.
Thursday : “You’re Grounded!” (I Hope So)
Are your teenagers grounded for what they do . . . or grounded in who they are? How to raise a street-smart kid.
Friday : Ka-ching , Ka-ching , Dividends on the Way
No more pull-ups. No more sippy cups. How to take advantage of these free ’n’ easy years.
Ask Dr. Leman
The 75 hottest topics parents have asked Dr. Leman about in his seminars across the country—and his time-tested advice that really works. Plus more “It Worked for Me” stories of parents who tried Dr. Leman’s tips—and are now smiling all over.
Epilogue
The Top 10 Countdown to Having a New Teenager by Friday
Notes
Index of A to Z Topics
About Dr. Kevin Leman
Resources by Dr. Kevin Leman
Back Ads
Acknowledgments
To my editor, Ramona Cramer Tucker, whose passion to grow a healthy relationship between parents and teenagers is as deep as mine, and who is the best mom to one of my favorite teenagers, Kayla.
To my Revell editor, Lonnie Hull DuPont, who always entertains the creative ideas of this baby-of-the-family author. She does a great job of making me “behave” myself.
And to Jessica Miles, my spot-on project editor, who doesn’t miss a flaw.
I’m Telling You, They’ll Get Weirder than Weird
You’ve just entered the Great Metamorphosis.
I was in the airport recently, taking off my shoes, belt, and just about everything except my Skivvies to stash in one of those rubber bins to go through the security checkpoint. I happened to be carrying a copy of my books Have a New Kid by Friday and Have a New Husband by Friday— rubber-banded together—so I placed those in the bin too. After I’d been “wanded” and cleared through security, I was gathering up my earthly possessions and still shoeless when a woman behind me exclaimed, “Oh, Dr. Kevin Leman! I love him!”
I swiveled to look at her. She was pointing to Have a New Kid by Friday in my bin.
“He’s so practical,” she said enthusiastically. “He helped me raise all my kids.”
I smiled. “Well, I love him too.”
I was going to let it go at that . . . until she frowned a bit, adding, “He’s been around a long time. In fact, I wonder if he’s still alive.”
I figured then that I’d better pony up. I pointed to the book. “Well, ‘him’ is me.”
Her face morphed into shock. “You’re kidding.”


Top 5 Requirements to Parenting Teenagers A healthy sense of humor Long-term perspective The good sense God gave you The ability to say it once, walk away, and then let the chips fall where they may Some Excedrin . . . and a long nap

“No.”
“Oh my goodness!”
“And I still have one teenager at home,” I told her. “A senior in high school. In fact, we had one child when my wife was 42 and I was 44, and another when my wife was 48 and I was 50.”
“Oops.” She nodded sagely. “Mistakes.”
“No,” I said. “Two great kids.”
I meant every word.
Even better, I have been around a long time, and the good news is I’m still alive! Even with weathering the teenage years five times with my kids!
If you picked up this book, you’ve just entered the Great Metamorphosis—those weirder-than-weird, critical years when your child is between the ages of 11 and 19. I call them the critical years because what your child does during these years can affect the rest of his or her life, and you, Mom or Dad, won’t always be there to look over your child’s shoulder.
Not that you would probably want to know all the things your teenager does. If you don’t believe that to be true, think for a moment. What stories do you swap with friends now about the crazy things you did as a teenager? The dumb antics you pulled that would make your mom break out in hives or your dad gain a few more gray hairs? Things your parents had no idea you did until years later, when the crises had passed, and you could all laugh about them?
But no one needs to tell you these are years of great change, do they? The proof is right in front of your eyes. Your precious babies are growing up faster than you ever could have imagined. Suddenly pant legs are too short, appetites are never-ending, shoes are too small, and mouths are too large. Some of your kids will let you hug them until they get married; others, who used to be warm and cuddly toddlers, will give you a straight-arm like an NFL running back if you even attempt a hug in front of their friends. And don’t forget “the look” that says it’s now your role to walk 10 feet behind your teenager, if you even have to walk on the same sidewalk at all. And heaven forbid if you drop her off at the front door at school, where all her peers can see your less-than-new SUV.
Every teenager is different—it comes with the territory. One night he’ll hate chicken, the next night he’ll hate tacos. Realize that, for a teenager, no dinner you’ll make will ever be perfect . . . even if it’s the exact one he requested an hour ago. That’s because his likes and dislikes change as rapidly as the direction of the wind.
Think back on your own teenage years—the clothes you used to wear, the hairstyles, the things you used to say. I can picture myself right now as I was as a teenager: greased-back hair, attitude with a capital A , and a cigarette hanging from the corner of my mouth. Yeah, I was cooler than cool, and I knew it. At least that’s what I told myself.
Picturing yourself when you were 11 to 19 will give you perspective and a sense of humor about that boy of yours who is wearing his pants halfway down his tail. In light of such fashion, just make sure your son has some good-lookin’ boxer shorts, because they’re certainly going to be on display for a lot of folks to see.
Someday your teenager will laugh at herself in pictures, just as you snicker at yourself “back then.” She’ll be showing her own children the stupid styles and ideas she fell prey to. But right now, she takes everything about her world seriously. Life, to teenagers, is not a laughing matter. So when you do need to laugh about their predicaments, I suggest you do it in private or at least around the corner of the kitchen. In a teenager’s world, every zit is the size of Mount Vesuvius. Every embarrassing comment is doubly, even triply, embarrassing. Each sideways look or eye-roll from a peer means “I hate you” or “you’re a loser” and can ruin even the best of days. Lows are lower than low, and emotions run as high as hormones. That’s why most teenagers live a roller-coaster existence.
The greatest thing you can do for yourself and for your teenagers is to have a healthy sense of humor because, in these years, their development will resemble a seismography during an earthquake—all wavy, crisscrossing lines. You need to be the semi-straight line—note I didn’t say a perfect straight line—knowing where you’re heading as a family. You’re that steady guide who keeps them walking along the path, not the helicopter parent who hovers over their every move. In fact, the more you hover during these hormone-group years, the more likely you are to push your teenagers into rebelling against you and everything you stand for.
Have a New Teenager