Single Mom Style

Eva Dowdell

Description

The Dance of the Sea is a tale of fisherfolk that live in an obscure coastal slum village situated in the southernmost tip of the Indian Subcontinent. It is the place where Sebastian becomes an engineer, rising up among the illiterate ruffian masses that have nerves of steel and a proclivity for ethnocentric violence. Sebastian deserts Gloria after their many trysts climax in a passionate lovemaking among the moonlit coconut grove where both lose their virginity. Gloria lives independently and becomes a rare and multi-faceted personality-a successful painter, an entrepreneur, and a social worker-riding well past Sebastian in fame and wealth. Torn between warring in-laws and his poverty-stricken sister Rebecca, Sebastian takes sides with the in-laws, leaving his sister in a financial predicament. She suffers from the overuse of loan usury to purchase a fishing trawler. Gloria supports Rebecca as much as she can in financial crises. Nature is unkind to them. The tsunami in 2004 wreaks devastating destruction, thousands of fisherfolk die like flies, and their properties return to the depths of the sea. The tsunami ends Gloria's life as well. The rivalry between mechanised fishing and traditional vallam fishing escalates as arsonists set the fishing trawlers afire, including the one owned by Rebecca. Will Sebastian rescue his sister Rebecca from the aftermath of misfortunes? Will the karma of deserting Gloria haunt Sebastian forever? What is that secret which Gloria has kept undisclosed to Sebastian all along? What shapes the psyche of these Catholic fisherfolk, the faith in religion or sorcery? Reader will discover not only the answers, but also the dark tunnels of suspense and awe-inspiring unique lifestyles of humanity unknown to the rest of the world.

Informations

• Publié par: Blogintobook.com
• Date de parution: 03 décembre 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781619849419
• Langue: English

Extrait

Published by BlogIntoBook
222 W Merchandise Mart Plaza
Suite #1212
Chicago, IL 60654
Copyright © 2015 by Eva Dowell
All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any parts within it may be sold or reproduced in any form without permission.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
ISBN (paperback): 9781619849402
eISBN: 9781619849419
Printed in the United States of America
Contents
Chapter 1: The Climb
Chapter 2: Faith
Chapter 3: Finances
Chapter 4: My Support
Chapter 5: The Other Side
Chapter 6: My Days
Chapter 7: Lessons Learned
Chapter 8: Dating
Chapter 1: The Climb

My Story
I was married young and fresh out of college. I thought I was doing what everyone was supposed to do: go to college, get married, and have kids. However, I was only 24 and didn’t feel like I had the picture perfect life I imagined. Even though my marriage wasn’t solid, I still wanted a child. I’ve always wanted children, and again, I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. My then husband wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea, but he knew it was always part of my plan. I was 27 when my daughter, Hana, was born. And she changed everything.
She gave me an entirely new set of responsibilities that was way harder than I imagined. I was doing it all. My days went a little something like this: Woke up and got ready for work, dropped off Hana at the sitter, worked a full day, picked up Hana, went home to make dinner, feed Hana while trying to feed myself and listening to my husband’s day; gave Hana a bath; put Hana to bed; put the food away and cleaned the kitchen; maybe put my feet up for a little; tried unsuccessfully to get some romance; went to bed; and woke up to do it all over again. Where was my husband through all this, you ask? Well... I don’t want to go through the details of our marriage to protect his privacy. I want this to be about the journey after my divorce, not what lead me to it.
However, I will say this... During my marriage, I slowly lost myself. I kept changing and adapting to my situation and not in a good way. I realize people change, but I didn’t have a glimmer of who I was as a person. I used to sparkle. I was happy, confident, social, and always cracked jokes. I worked hard and was driven towards professional goals. I loved dressing up and cared about what I looked like. I made going church and spending time with family and friends a priority. She sounds awesome, doesn’t she!?!? Well slowly, but surely, this person faded away.
It wasn’t until my daughter was born when I woke up. I reevaluated my life as an example to my daughter. Is the kind of life I’m living now the kind of life I wanted for my daughter? The answer was no. And if I thought she deserved better, so did I. She was my game-changer, and I changed the game. The process of getting out of my situation and getting myself back, I often call the transition . You know how some people say "things have to get worse before they get better," well they were absolutely right. The beginning of my transition was the hardest. I hit rock bottom. I was everything I never wanted to be. I felt as if I was an even worse example for Hana, and I felt horrible. However, I never doubted my decision to get a divorce. And the good thing about hitting rock bottom was there was only one way to go... up.

Move Forward
In order to get myself out of rock bottom status, I needed a plan. I made a list (a long one) of everything that I needed to do to be the person I wanted to become. I listed personal goals, financial goals, professional goals, and mom goals. My list included reconnecting with friends, reading at least one book a month, getting a new job, eating healthier, doing more with Hana, dressing better, exercising regularly... well it was a long list, but you get the idea. Within this list, I had to prioritize and focus.
Now, you all have to know how hard this would be in the beginning of transition. Divorce is never easy, no matter whose decision it was. I had zero confidence. I felt lonely, sad, unloved, unrespected, undesired, unmotivated, and just lost. Today, I always offer people going through transition a lending ear or words of motivation because I know how hard it is, and I often wished I had someone who understood when I was going through it. It mentally, emotionally, and physically... hurts. All I wanted to do was hit the bars and drink my problems away. But it wasn’t just me I was making decisions for; it was for both of us. I had to move forward, if not for myself, for Hana. I saw the light at the end of the tunnel because I had to. I kept thinking, "This too shall pass" (I got this helpful line from a movie; I think My Best Friend’s Wedding lol, but I have no idea where it originated).
I pictured the two of us settled and happy so I needed to start getting us there. I had 3 major goals to start with: Find a place for us to live, get a new job, and find a school for Hana. And of course I had to do these things simultaneously because time was running short with the school year around the corner.
As far as that original long list goes, some people say you should put it up somewhere you can see it every day so you can stay focused and know what you need to do. That’s cool if it works for you, but that’s just not how I roll. I am a grown woman; I know what I need to do. I didn’t need a constant visual of a list to remind me to stay focused. Hana was my reminder. One look at her and I knew what needed to be done so I just kept going. The action of writing the list was to get me thinking in order to formulate a plan. Looking at a long to-do type list all the time probably would have just given me anxiety. I actually found this list a few months ago when I was cleaning. I went over this list again, took a pen, and started crossing out all the things that I have accomplished. It was the majority of the list! I was shocked! It made me feel great, but I added a few things to the list and put it back where I found it. Again, I know what I need to do. The best way to get beyond your past is to move forward so move!

The Exterior
I mentioned before that during the beginning of my transition, I was everything I never wanted to be. But now the question is: who do I want to be? As rock bottom as I felt, I saw this transition as an opportunity, not only to get myself back, but to make myself new and improved like an Eva 2.0. I wanted to be an even better person than I was before my rock bottom status. Obtaining many of these attributes were listed on my goals list. In the redesign of the Eva 2.0, I started with the exterior since it’s been said that when you look good, you feel good .
I haven’t had a personal style in quite some time, but the style I had back in the day definitely wouldn’t be practical for my life as a single mom. Tight dresses, mid-drift showing shirts, and blistering shoes were fun for college but just didn’t fit my current lifestyle. I wanted comfort and style to go together. Now, I wasn’t completely clueless I’ve never had a pair of those high-waisted "mom jeans." However, I did need help, and I was lucky enough to have, not one, but two extreme fashionistas that happened to be my very close friends of mine: Emily Sanchez of Stylization in Chicago and Dee Doyle of Camden Boutique in Elmhurst.
I started watching fashion-based TV shows and started paying attention to what people were wearing on the street. I learned somewhere along the way that even though you are working with a tight wardrobe budget, you should still have a few good quality key pieces so I turned to Dee and Liz Eldredge at Camden. Camden Boutique is amazing for quality pieces! Dee knows I’m on a budget so she won’t let me buy anything I’d only wear once. I go through the same procedure every single time I go in that store. Dee would make me try on a huge pile of clothes when I would only be looking for one dress. Then when we would narrow down our choices, Dee and Liz would ask "where else could you wear this?" But before I could utter a word, they both would give me at least 5 different scenarios and how to wear it to make it look different I was in awe. I was learning so much with the purchase of this one stylish, classy, quality, and versatile navy blue dress. They gave the term "little black dress" a whole different meaning for me. Dress it up by adding this; dress it down by wearing it with that; give it a different look by doing this; you could wear it here if you do that. The possibilities seemed endless! I wore the heck out of that dress and still do. Thanks Dee and Liz!
Just so you know, my wardrobe used to be pretty extensive. However, as luck would have it, there was a basement flood where I was storing the majority of my belongings before I moved into my apartment. Therefore, I salvaged anything I possibly could, but it still didn’t leave me with much more than my work clothes. I slowly started building it back up by shopping after season and rummaging through clearance racks. I felt like my closet had no direction, or maybe it was me with no direction.
I happened to see on social media that Stylization was having a contest to win a free closet stylization, and guess who the big winner was... me! My friend Emily, along with Monica Smutek, came over and the work began. They went through every piece in my closet and asked me where and how I wear each one. Work clothes such as a pink oxford shirt didn’t get much discussion. However, everything else did! Every other item would get different suggestions on where to wear it and how to accessorize. We came across a dress that I hadn’t worn in at least a decade, and I told them I had planned on donating it. "Why haven’t you worn it?"
"I... don’t... know... I guess b