Summary of ACA WSO's The Loving Parent Guidebook

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 The Solution in the Adult Children of Alcoholics program is to become your own loving parent. However, until 2021, the program didn’t have a workbook focused on reparenting. This book was created to fill that need.
#2 The process of becoming your own loving parent is a journey that will take time and require you to overcome some resistance, but it is ultimately liberating. You will learn how to recognize, allow, and feel your feelings, as well as honor your needs.
#3 The exercises and guidance in this book will help you put your innate qualities of love, compassion, and kindness into action. You will need support from others, and you may need to try things out and make adjustments as you go.
#4 Reparenting can be difficult. As we come to believe that our inner loving parent loves us unconditionally and that we’re supported by a higher power of our understanding, we begin to break the Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel rule of family dysfunction.

Sujets

• Parenting
• Général

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 20 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669355694
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on ACA WSO's The Loving Parent Guidebook
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

The Solution in the Adult Children of Alcoholics program is to become your own loving parent. However, until 2021, the program didn’t have a workbook focused on reparenting. This book was created to fill that need.

#2

The process of becoming your own loving parent is a journey that will take time and require you to overcome some resistance, but it is ultimately liberating. You will learn how to recognize, allow, and feel your feelings, as well as honor your needs.

#3

The exercises and guidance in this book will help you put your innate qualities of love, compassion, and kindness into action. You will need support from others, and you may need to try things out and make adjustments as you go.

#4

Reparenting can be difficult. As we come to believe that our inner loving parent loves us unconditionally and that we’re supported by a higher power of our understanding, we begin to break the Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel rule of family dysfunction.

#5

The book is structured to help you access the love inside you and grow the awareness and skills you need to become your own loving parent. It includes fellowship submissions condensed and edited for clarity.

#6

This book is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Please use the options that work for you, and leave the rest. You may want to use a separate notebook to journal, record in-depth reflections, and explore the suggested practices.

#7

ACA is a we program. It is written to be used with a fellow traveler, sponsor, therapist, or private ACA study group or public meeting, not read straight through or in isolation. Sharing your answers and challenges with others can help you connect with your feelings and uproot isolation and shame.

#8

You have different primary learning styles. Understanding your primary learning style helps you connect with your inner family. For example, you may learn through physical touch or through your feelings.

#9

We can go further when we walk slowly. We need to be willing to reparent. Yet, if willingness veers into urgency or striving, some inner family members may push back. We need to approach the process in a way that allows us to feel safe as we challenge ourselves.

#10

The Steps and reparenting work together to help us learn to love ourselves and connect with a power greater than ourselves. Each invites us to meet our childhood pain from a unique point of view: with compassion and clear, loving eyes.

#11

As we begin the work of reparenting, we may become more aware of the old hurts and trauma stored in our bodies. We can balance this work with self-care, such as gentleness breaks whenever they’re needed, eating well, resting, and taking time to do something fun.

#12

To make your space as comfortable and safe as possible while you work through this guide, consider getting some basic art supplies to use with your inner child.

#13

When we reparent, we are not trying to fix ourselves. We are simply trying to help ourselves heal. We will inevitably experience the power of reparenting, and it may lead us to believe that we are fixed, when in fact, we are not.

#14

To recover, we must take action coming from love. We must develop trust with the inner family by showing up repeatedly, the best we can.

#15

Reparenting is giving yourself what you needed as a child. It is a turning point to admit that you did not learn this basic skill, and need to learn it, and that you need to learn how to find and give yourself the love that is already within you.

#16

We were raised by parents who were children of trauma. They did not receive the love and guidance they needed, and so they could not pass this love and guidance down to us.

#17

Our loving parent is an aspect of our true self that we can awaken and strengthen to tend to our inner family members with wisdom and compassion. We can recognize our loving parent by noticing when we care for our physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional well-being.

#18

We each experience our inner world in unique ways. We may experience our loving parent as a part of us, as a healthy inner family member. The program helps us work with our inner children, who are the parts of us that were affected by our childhood trauma.

#19

The concept of an inner family is difficult for newcomers to understand, but it is a fundamental part of the healing process. It helps us understand that we are all made up of distinct and often competing parts.

#20

Our inner family members, or parts of us, interact inside. For there to be emotional balance, these inner family members must function well together. We can help them work together and show them more effective ways to love and protect us today.

#21

The critical parent is the inner child’s attempt to cope with their feelings of vulnerability and fear of being abandoned. They try to control your behavior, and when that doesn’t work, they attack you.

#22

The inner teenager is the inner family member who can be rebellious, angry, and reactive. They may try to set boundaries but in teenage ways that don’t usually work. The inner teenager can engage in compulsive behaviors and use substances to try to numb unpleasant feelings.

#23

The inner child is the part of us that feels awe and wonder, but was forced into hiding by dysfunctional parenting. We can understand our inner child in many ways: as our true self, as an essential aspect of our true self, or as something greater.

#24

Each of us has an inner family, made up of our own thoughts and feelings. We must understand and support our inner family members rather than ignore, belittle, or argue with them.

#25

When you’re drawing, ask your critical parent to give you some space. If you notice judgments about your artistic ability, you can gently yet firmly ask your critical parent to give you some room.

#26

The order in which we work with the different members of our inner family is not linear. We may meet a member of our inner family in a different order than the one described here. If we get overwhelmed, we can take a gentleness break.

#27

You can begin to recognize your inner loving parent by noticing how they interact with a child differently than a critical parent does. Critical parents often deny feelings, which is a form of control and fixing. Loving parents make space for feelings.

#28

Reparenting involves caring for your inner family and the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health of your whole being. It requires consistency, love, and patience. However, it is not easy. Because your inner family members are in survival mode, they will try to take over.

#29

As you work on healing your family wounds, it can be difficult to connect with your inner family members’ feelings. You can help them by creating a safe inner space for them to visit.

#30

Your safe place is within reach, and you can recall the bodily sensations you felt when connected to it. It is always within reach. When you’re in your everyday life, you can recall the bodily sensations that come with being in your safe place.

#31

The loving parent is an aspect of our true self that embodies compassion, curiosity, love, and wholeness. We can learn to access and connect with our loving parent in new, healthier ways.

#32

Consider who or what was available to you in your childhood that could have modeled loving parent behavior. draw on their qualities as you practice becoming your own loving parent.

#33

The goal of reparenting is for our inner family members to trust the loving parent to lead them through life.