A Girl Called T.O.M: Granny for Sale

Jackie Marchant

Description

When Tom’s granny returns from her latest world travels, Tom is alarmed to hear that not only is she moving in with them, but that Tom is expected to share a bedroom with her. Tom’s granny is one of life’s eccentrics and where she goes, chaos follows. True to form Granny immediately turns Tom’s life upside down, not helped by Tom’ super-hero obsessed dad, her quirky, yoga-teaching mum and weirdly obsessive little brother. Desperate to get things back to normal, Tom lists her granny for sale on e-Sellalot, more as a joke than anything else. But it’s when bids actually start rolling in in ever-increasing amounts that the trouble really starts!

Sujets

• Children's literature

Informations

• Publié par: Wacky Bee Books
• Date de parution: 01 juin 2021
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9781913292126
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 9 Mo

Extrait

To my own lovely granddaughter, Alice. JM

To my Grandma who inspired a love of gardens and cacti. LS

This edition published in 2021 by Wacky Bee Books

Shakespeare House, 168 Lavender Hill, London SW11 5TG

www.wackybeebooks.com

Text copyright © Jackie Marchant 2021

Illustrations © Loretta Schauer 2021

The right of Jackie Marchant and Loretta Schauer to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the copyright holder.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

ISBN 9780995697263

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

Designed by Ali Ardington

Printed and bound in the UK by AkcentMEDIA

JackîeMarchant ilLustRaTedby LorEtTa schaUEr

Chapter 

It’s true. I reay dîd try to se my grandmother. Beore I expaîn why, et me te you somethîng about her. Granny îkes traveîng. Unortunatey, whenever she goes on one o her trîps, she comes back wîth somethîng special  or my brother and me. Last tîme her specîa present was a ump o Drid- up po . Not any od poo – thîs was rare poo rom an endangered breed o arge anîma and she was hepîng out by buyîng îts po .

5

Whîe my brother went of to înspect hîs poo under hîs mîcroscope, I trîed to flush mîne down the oo. You woudn’t beîeve how hard ît îs to F l o  down the oo. I t a d . flush rare breed poo t e Three tîmes I trîed, untî Dad was poundîng on the door askîng me What I Was Doîng în There. I coudn’t eave ît în case he thought I’d done ît, so I stufed the soggy po  up my tee-shîrt and et the bathroom wîth an înnocent smîe. Then I hîd the po în the bottom corner o the bîn. But Granny ound the po I had to have and a ong tak about Beîng Grateu. The tak was deîvered by Dad, who was dressed up as Darth Vader  (I’ expaîn ater). But hîs coak was too ong and he kept standîng on ît, whîe hîs voîce sîmuator kept breakîng down and makîng hîm

6

squeak. I dîd my best to ook ashamed, but that’s quîte hard when you’re tryîng not to augh. Then, somethîng truy awu happened – my teacher Mr Truber asked Granny to come înto schoo and te my cass a about her trîp. The probem îs, Granny doesn’t te. She acts. That means flappîng her arms about and doîng her voîces, everythîng rom screech to oud whîsper. But the worst thîng îs, she thînks she’s beîng unny. That’s because the whoe cass îs aughîng – apart rom me. I’m the gîr wîth her eyes screwed shut, wîshîng that her dad’s învîsîbîîty coak reay worked and she’d remembered to brîng ît to schoo. ‘Where’s my ovey Tom-Tom gîr?’ Granny ooks around the cass untî her eyes sette on the poor gîr tryîng to hîde under a desk – me.

7

Tom-Tom gîr. That’s what she cas me. Because my name îs Tom. I shoud probaby expaîn why I’m a gîr caed Tom. It started wîth my brother. Accordîng to Granny, ît îs tradîtîon în her amîy or a grandmother to name her first grandchîd (I don’t know whîch sîde o the amîy thîs came rom – she probaby made ît up). Granny was hopîng or a gîr and was goîng to ca her Andromeda. But when my brother was born she decîded she coudn’t ca a boy Andromeda, so she caed hîmHeavenly înstead. It’s short or MyHeavenly Boy. We just ca hîmHeaven. Ater that, Dad însîsted on namîng me. He named me Thora Odîna, whîch îs ong or Thor Odîn – ater the superhero , not the Norse god. Dad changed hîs surname rom Maîk to Marve ong beore he

8

met my mum, so my name îs Thora Odîna Marve. Put my înîtîas together and you get Tom. That’s me – a gîr caed Tom. But back to the po . Back to the memory o Granny draggîng me out rom under the desk, where I’m tryîng to hîde and pretend I’ve never seen her beore. She then makes me hod the po up or everyone to see. When she reaîses that ît’s gone out o shape, she squeezes ît back agaîn, by whîch tîme even Mr Truber has tears o aughter streamîng down hîs ace.