Ned and the Chocolate Cheats

Mark Jarvis

Description

In a world where many animals can talk, an exuberant Jack Russell and his person must conquer foes and race across the world in an adventure of a lifetime!When Gizzmo, the technologically talented cat from next door, tells Ned about a robbery at the local shop, he immediatelygets his person to take him for a walk to investigate. Although he and Jeff mean well, in attempting to solve this mystery,they become embroiled in the mysterious world of MI5 and the battle against organised crime.From the West Country, to London, and beyond, our reluctant heroes race across the world, to thwart a dastardlychocolate related plot. In doing so, they come face to face with the endangered tarsier, on the tropical, magical island ofBohol. With the blessing and support of the Royal Corgis (the real power behind the throne) and the leader of Britain, Larrythe Downing Street cat, Ned and Jeff concoct a risky plan. Can they foil the chocolatey plot -and will their foes receivetheir just desserts?

Sujets

• Children's
• Philippines
• Central London
• Plymouth
• Hong Kong

Informations

• Publié par: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Date de parution: 23 novembre 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781838597269
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 3 Mo

Extrait

Copyright © 2020 Mark Jarvis

The moral right of the author has been asserted.


Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.


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ISBN 978 1838597 269

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.


Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

For Holly and Steffen,
who made the whole thing possible.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Hey, Dude!
Chapter 2
Flat Bright
Chapter 3
Send Me A Text
Chapter 4
Vomit
Chapter 5
Road Trip
Chapter 6
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Chapter 7
Buried
Chapter 8
Coal Hole
Chapter 9
In a Jiffy
Chapter 10
Dinky
Chapter 11
Choccy Yum
Chapter 12
The Voice
Chapter 13
The View From Here
Chapter 14
MI5 Are Listening
Chapter 15
Too Much
Chapter 16
Blow Out
Chapter 17
Thriller In Manila
Chapter 18
Chocolate Hills
Chapter 19
Taxi Talk
Chapter 20
Magic Secrets
Chapter 21
Tarsiers
Chapter 22
Amazing!
Chapter 23
Plans
Chapter 24
Royal Corgis Say Yes
Chapter 25
The Marvellous Nedmondo
Chapter 26
Awesomeness
Prologue
It was dark now. They saw their moment.
“Go!” Rufus shouted.
Crash!
Mrs Perkins’ mobility scooter smashed into the shop window. It was not enough to break it completely, but weakened it for the pack of dogs to burst through. Broken glass tinkled and twinkled onto the ground around them.
The dogs furiously attacked the bars of chocolate on the shelves. Twelve sets of sharp teeth chomped and ate every one of them, including the wrappers. It all took seconds.
Now, as quickly as they had entered, the pack jumped out.
“I’m going to wish I hadn’t eaten all that!” panted Scruff as he scampered away.
“Yeah,” puffed Rufus frantically. “Especially when those tin foil wrappers come out again.”
The dogs raced through the streets, splitting up to avoid detection. They were on their way to the next target, but would it be so easy?
Chapter 1
Hey, Dude!



I stood at the back door. This is one of the ways I show people I want to go out to the garden.
The people think they are in charge, but who picks up my poop? Think about it! Dogs (especially handsome-looking, long-legged Jack Russell Terriers like me) are definitely in charge. Sort of.
The garden smelt good. I snuffled and sniffed the wall and the washing line post. They smelt nice and strongly of my wee. I weed on those places again to make sure others knew it was my garden.
I smelt another smell in the air and looked up. There she was, sitting on top of the stone wall.
“Morning, Gizzmo,” I called.
“Hey, Ned, dude!” the cat replied.
Gizzmo, like most cats, thought of herself as a cool surfer type. This is bonkers really, as most of them hate getting wet.
Cats like to behave in an ‘awesome’ and trendy way. I often saw Gizzmo hanging out in The Sticky Bun Café that I went past on my walks. Gizzmo could be seen with her Flat Bright animal coffee, writing something on her laptop. Now she was above me on the wall that separated our gardens.
“Did you catch the news about the sweet shop, dude?” she asked. As she spoke, she licked her paw and rubbed it over her ear.
“That’s gross, Gizzmo, don’t do that,” I said.
“Gross? And this coming from a dude who sniffs bottoms!” she laughed.
“But no, Gizzmo, I didn’t hear the news. What happened?”
She looked down at me. “Hey, you know that old dude, Mrs Perkins?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Well, last night, a pack of street dog dudes drove that lady’s mobility scooter through the sweet shop window. They stole all the chocolate! Most uncool.”
“Wow!” I replied.
I sat down and scratched the side of my tummy. This was not particularly bad news for me, as chocolate is poisonous for animals. For the people, this was very bad. Not only was all that chocolate stolen, but it also meant that animals were now committing crimes. This was serious stuff.
I hoped the dogs who stole the chocolate didn’t eat it. Being a dog myself, I knew that they probably couldn’t resist the urge to scoff it all.
“It’s a doggy-dude ram-raid, dude!” Gizzmo chuckled.
“This is animal organised crime,” I said. “It’s a worrying thing. I need to tell my person about this.”
Dogs and cats have been living in human company for thousands of years, so it was inevitable that they should learn to talk. It was bound to happen. Once the talking starts, it can lead to picking up all sorts of other human habits, good and bad. It didn’t take long for many other animals to learn the skill of talking. Some are better at it than others. Some don’t talk at all.
I looked up at the fluffy tabby cat, now stretched out in the sunshine. I tried to raise one eyebrow and appear serious. I couldn’t do it and just looked like I had wind.
“Take a chill pill, dude,” Gizzmo purred. “They were only after the chocolate.” She went to sleep.
Scrambling to my feet, I turned towards the house. I sniffed the air and walked towards the smell of my person.
Being a Jack Russell, I am short and strong. I found it quite easy to nudge open the back door, which had closed a bit in the breeze. Once inside, I bounded across the room.
Jeff was sitting on the old leather sofa, reading a book. I jumped up next to him and pushed my nose up under his arm, to make sure I had his attention.
“What on earth…!” he exclaimed in surprise. “Ned, old pal, what’s the matter?”
“Hey! Hey! Listen to this!” I shouted excitedly. I reached up and licked his face. Slurp!
Being able to talk didn’t mean that I could stop myself doing dog things. He had the crumbs of this morning’s breakfast still in his beard. Hmm, cornflakes! Nice.
“Yuk!” my person said, as he wiped his face on his sleeve. “Okay, you have my attention. Do try and sit still; you’ll get hairs everywhere.” Jeff scratched his tummy through his unironed t-shirt.
My person’s proper name was Cornellius Jefferies, but that is rather a mouthful. Ever since he was at school, everyone had just called him Jeff. All that matters to me is that he is my person.
“Okay, Ned, this seems important,” he smiled. “That will make a nice change!” As he grinned, his eyes twinkled behind his round glasses and he pushed back his unbrushed dark hair. I do love you, I thought. But you are scruffy.
People might shower every day, but I still look and smell better than them.
I stood up and shook, shedding little hairs everywhere, and then sat down again. Jeff brushed the hairs onto the floor.
“Listen,” I said, trying to get to the point. “You know the sweet shop just down the road from here? The one that smells of liquorice? Well, Gizzmo, the cat that lives next door to us, told me that yesterday evening, just as the shop was closing, the window was smashed and all the chocolate was stolen and eaten!” I said this quickly and stood up, my tail wagging in excitement.
“No way!” Jeff exclaimed. “But who would do such a thing?” He shrugged his shoulders.
“Ah, well, that’s the really amazing part. It was a gang of dogs.”
“Wow!” Jeff said in wonderment. “But isn’t chocolate poisonous for dogs?”
“Yes. Dogs know that, but we just can’t help eating it. It’s the wonderful smell. It just smells so good!” I wagged my tail again at the thought of chocolate.
“You dogs are always thinking of your t