Jolene's Story

Jolene Goh

Description

Jolene is only 22 years old, but her unspoken story will make you think twice about the big picture in life. Does coming from a broken family mean you have to stay broken all your life? Born illegitimate, abandoned by her father, sexually abused by her stepfather, and called a liar by her mother, Jolene never had a carefree childhood nor a warm loving family that is the right of every child. She lived in constant fear of her stepfather, never knowing when he would impose himself on her. She was angry, depressed and miserable. She rebelled, sniffed glue, took drugs, joined gangs. And ended up in the Singapore Girls' Home. Today, Jolene holds a secure job and is helping her family pay off their debts. This is the story of how that girl picked herself up and made a better life for herself and her mother. With piercing honesty, Jolene's Story is about a girl trying to make sense of her life and change it for the better. But that is not all. She has her reasons for opening up her life to the public for full scrutiny and for all to judge. She wants her stepfather to realize that without him all these years, without any love, care and concern for her, she is doing well, published a book and is successful. For the sake of her stepbrothers, she didn't want to have her stepfather charged in court. But she wants her stepbrothers and the public to know the cold truth of what he had done to her and the nightmare he put her through. She also wants to show the world that not every break-up leads to slitting of your wrists, not every failure leads to a hopeless future, and not every mistake will cause you to be condemned forever. She has been through so much more than most of us and has come out a stronger person.

Informations

• Publié par: MarshallCavendishM
• Date de parution: 01 novembre 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9789814408998
• Langue: English

Extrait

2013 Marshall Cavendish International (Asia) Private Limited
Published by Marshall Cavendish Editions
An imprint of Marshall Cavendish International
1 New Industrial Road, Singapore 536196
Cover by Lynn Chin
All rights reserved
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National Library Board, Singapore Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
Goh, Jolene, 1990-
Jolene s story : who says a wayward kid will stay wayward forever? . - Singapore : Marshall
Cavendish Editions, c2013.
p. cm.
eISBN 978 981 4408 99 8
1. Goh, Jolene, 1990- 2. Problem youth - Singapore - Biography.
3. Teenage girls - Singapore - Biography. I. Title.
HV1425
362.7083092 -- dc23 OCN810231512

Printed in Singapore by Markono Print Media Pte Ltd
I dedicate this book to my late
grandfather, Mr Wee Hwee Haw, who
loved me unconditionally no matter
what I did. He is my inspiration to rise
above my troubled past and make
something good of myself. I love you,
Ah Gong. You will always have a special
place in my heart.
I also dedicate this book to YOU -
for reading my story. May my story
encourage you and keep you strong
through life s ups and downs.
CONTENTS
Preface
Prologue
A curse on the family
My stepfather
Thoughts of suicide
A predator in my home
Going on to secondary school
Interest in boys
He s at it again
Mixing with the wrong crowd
Camaraderie in a gang
Missing person report
On the run again
Arrested for stealing
Dropped out of school
Aidan
Hauled up to Juvenile Court
Sent for rehabilitation
No holiday chalet
Taking sides
Life in the Home
Grading for good behaviour
My first parent visit
The first six months
My light case file
Caught in a dilemma
Home leave at last
Good and bad news
More freedom
Back in school again
A girl caffed Kingsley
Going on to Secondary Four
Suspended from school
Problems in my family
The worst had yet to come
My boyfriend, James
My beloved grandfather
Losing my grandfather
The best is yet to be
Doing the right thing
And life goes on
Acknowledgements
About Jolene
PREFACE
I am 22 years old, but my unspoken story will make you think twice about the big picture in life.
Does coming from a broken family mean you have to stay broken all your life? I was born an illegitimate child. My father abandoned me, my stepfather sexually abused me, and my mother called me a liar. My stepfather - I call him the man of terror - used me to satisfy his sexual needs, not once, not twice ... you couldn t count the number of times with your fingers. And I was only in Primary Five when he started his dastardly deeds.
I managed to escape from his clutches. I rebelled. I sniffed glue. I took drugs ... how did I get the drugs and without paying a cent? I stole. I fought. I joined gangs. And I ended up in the Singapore Girls Home. The crimes I did, I felt no guilt when I did them, and I was only venting my anger on innocent people, wanting them to feel as miserable as I was. Joining the gangs, I had support. I felt powerful. I felt that I could be stronger than the man of terror.
I was an Express stream student, but it took me six years to get my O level certificate. You must be wondering why. Do you think I mended my ways after my time in the Home? If you really want to know, open this book and read on. Welcome to my world.
PROLOGUE
1979: Jose Goh was a drug addict. He met his girlfriend, Katherine, through her brother who was his classmate. He was also her brother s nemesis and she was not allowed to hang out with him. The rebellious teenager that she was, Katherine didn t care.
The school had organised a charity fun fair to raise funds for students with financial difficulties. Katherine sneaked out of her house to go with Jose to the carnival. They had a good time and became inseparable from then on. Back then, they were what people would refer to today as Ah Lian and Ah Beng .
Katherine had been on drugs, cigarettes and alcohol since she was 11 years old. Jose was already by then hooked on drugs. Heroin, cocaine, marijuana - he had tried them all. After Katherine became acquainted with Jose, she lost all interest in her studies and told her father she wanted to quit school and get a job. In those days, some parents still thought that education was considered a waste on girls because they were going to be married off anyway.
Having a drug addict boyfriend was a nightmare for Katherine. Jose was frequently in and out of prison. Her family members advised her time and again to end her relationship with him, but she ignored their pleas. The second time after Jose was released from prison, Katherine begged him to quit taking drugs. He agreed and she began to plan a future with him. He even told Katherine that he wanted to have a baby with her.
1989: At age 20, Katherine became pregnant. She was filled with wonderful dreams of herself and Jose bringing up a family together. Thinking that Jose had turned over a new leaf, Katherine did not feel insecure even though Jose had not proposed to her. She knew that Jose was poor and could not afford to give her a proper wedding.
One Sunday, when Jose had gone out to buy lunch for Katherine and her family, she found a small packet in his jeans pocket while sorting out the laundry. She opened it and saw a white powdery substance inside. She prayed silently that it was some talcum powder and not what she thought it was. Then, she took a sniff. Yes, it was heroin.
Rejecting a sob and the immense urge to scream, she wanted to rush downstairs to demand an explanation from Jose. But before she could do so, there was a knock on the door. She opened it and there was Jose, restrained with handcuffs behind his back and flanked by two plainclothes policemen. His face was stricken with guilt and he dared not look into Katherine s eyes. He was arrested for possession of drugs and sent to jail. It was the last straw for Katherine and she finally gave up hopes of Jose being her Mr Right. She stared at her parents as they looked back at her with sorrow and pity in their eyes. Then she fell to the floor, wailing and screaming that she would never forgive him. Right then, she knew there would not be a fairy tale ending with Jose.
Months passed. Katherine received several letters from Jose begging for her forgiveness and asking her about their unborn baby. He drew pictures of their baby, imagining how their child would look like. He also drew pictures of a happy family, hand in hand, enjoying a beach outing together.
She wrote to Jose only once and it was to tell him that she no longer wanted to have anything more to do with him. She didn t want to be waiting around as he went in and out of prison. She still loved him, but she had to end their relationship if she wanted a better life for herself and their unborn child.
Jose was released from prison after six months. He went looking for Katherine, hoping to patch up with her. But she did not want to have anything to do with him. They had a heated argument. She told him: You re not fit to be my daughter s father. She deserves better. And so do I! Jose stormed off, vowing to fight for custody of their child.
October 1990: Katherine gave birth to a baby girl. She had her father s eyes and her mother s smile. Katherine wanted her daughter to take on Jose s surname so that people would not wonder and judge her daughter unfairly when they learn that she has a different surname as her father. She named her daughter, Jolene.
And I am Jolene. This is my story.
A curse on the family
My mother worked very hard to provide for me. She was a waitress in a pub and from her meagre earnings, she paid 500 a month for a babysitter to take care of me. I lived with my babysitter in her home for five years.
My grandfather also worked very hard to provide for the family, rarely taking a day off even when he was sick. He may not be rich but he worked very hard as a lorry driver for a food catering company to support the family.
As for my grandmother, she was an illegal bookie. She had made some bad mistakes and ended up with a huge debt when she was unable to pay the punters who had won. Unknown to my mother, my grandmother started borrowing from loan sharks to pay off her debts. My mother only learnt of this when my grandmother became depressed and threatened to commit suicide. To help her, my mother borrowed 11,000 from a rich old man who frequented the pub. She made my grandmother promise never to borrow from loan sharks again, but her pleas fell on deaf ears.
The other members in my mother s family were just as problematic. My mother s older brother Douglas marrie