Brick Monster

Harry Pope

Description

Let your imagination feed on itself as a Brick Monster comes to live under the sidewalk of a seaside resort. He has anti-social eating habits, bad breath, is thrown out by his parents and at the tender age of 58 has to fend for himself. The Brick Monster finds new friends, eats a Mermaid, and then falls in love. Author Harry Pope brings together a range of characters, situations and humour that children and adults will find enjoyable

Informations

• Publié par: Andrews UK
• Date de parution: 21 décembre 2011
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781849899567
• Langue: English

Extrait

Tittle Page

The Brick Monster


By
Harry Pope

Publisher Information

The Brick Monster published in 2011 by
Andrews UK Limited
www.andrewsuk.com

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

The characters and situations in this book are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happening.

Copyright © Harry Pope

The right of Harry Pope to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.
About the Author

Harry Pope started writing in the 1980s for London Weekend Television for their Who do You Do impressionist show, as well as Weekending for Radio Four, and then decided that the day job as a funeral director paid more when the boss came calling with a promotion.

He only returned to writing in 2003, and has written magazine articles, material for minor comedians, and regular (non paid) articles for the Peterborough column in the Daily Mail.

Harry has twice been chairman of his local writers’ circle and is still very active writing in the Eastbourne area. He is a grandfather of three young ladies, and has been married to Pam for almost 38 years. This has been a success mainly because she laughs at his jokes in company as if she hasn’t heard them before.



Chapter One

We Meet Ezra The Monster


The parent monsters were discussing their only son
‘How much longer is he going to be living with us?’ said the father
This was a question that he had been asking more frequently over the last few years, as his son had grown larger and larger. His son was now fifty eight, which was still young for a monster to be leaving home, but his father was increasingly becoming annoyed with his son’s anti-social habits.
These included developing bad breath, farting at meal times, and not washing between his toes. Monster breath is not good at the best of times, and his son’s had got so bad that even his grandmother, who doted on him claw and jagged tooth, turned her snout away from him. His farts were always worse than anyone else’s, and had been known to clear a meal table. But the worst bit was the smell when he picked the black bits from between his toes.
His wife managed one solitary tear. When they had first had this conversation, about five years ago, she had cried a lot of tears. Not so many now, because she realised in her heart of hearts that her monster man was right.
‘Don’t you love him any more then?’
He harrumphed in reply as only male monsters can
‘That’s beside the point, my love, it’s just…you know…we need our privacy again’.
There are many types of monsters, but not many can both walk on two legs, and also swim. The walkers tend to be very tall, and absolutely frightening. But don’t be deceived by the swimmers, because you should be very frightened of them as well. Their son had grown a lot faster than most sea monsters, and was now over six feet in length, his tail was just as long, but unusually his head was four feet long, but only two feet high. Those of us who know all about sea monsters realise that they are normally about two thirds of this size, and that was one of the main causes of worry for his father, because of course the larger the monster, the bigger the appetite. But what was even more frightening was their son could not only swim, but walk as well. They must have done something really bad in the past to have such an unusual son.
Their son had acute hearing for a monster, and he had heard this conversation between his parents. He also knew that they had been talking about his departure for a long time, but now he also was coming to the conclusion that it was time to go. He had had a few problems with some of the other young local monsters, and knew that they would not tolerate his bullying size for a lot longer. He was not particularly liked, which was another reason that he and his parents had independently come to the same conclusion. It was time to go.
He disappeared through the jungle, went to the seashore, and started swimming. His instinct told him that he should travel somewhere colder, as he had been in warm waters all his life and he had to try something different. It was summer time, an ideal time to go for a long swim, and there was plenty of food swimming in the water to keep the hunger away for a long time. He was lucky that he could breathe under water as well as in air, and could easily rest for a while on the seabed with one eye open as well as float on the surface and watch out for something tasty swimming.
His long tail meant that he could go with the tide, and just flip the tail every now and again to maintain a bit of progress, and he had only been going for a week when he saw one man in a small fishing boat. Yummy yummy, dinner in a dinghy.
The man was a dynamite fisherman, where he would place a small detonator over the side of the boat, stun the fish, and then scoop them up in his net. Very lazy, but effective. Also, quite expensive because the explosive was not cheap, but if he caught sufficient, then he could sell on his catch and make a nice profit. He was waiting for a shoal of fish to swim by, and was concentrating so much that the monster was under the boat before it was too late. The fisherman stood no chance, and it took the monster almost two hours to eat his meal before he was full, and allowed the other fish to feast on the remains of the dead fisherman.
This was the first time that the monster was to realize that every time he ate a meal with a name, he took the name of the meal. The fisherman’s name was Ezra, so the monster now became Ezra the Monster.

***

Ezra had been swimming, looking for a new home, for two months, and found nothing suitable. He had found a large river, with a wide entrance, and decided to investigate, even though his instinct told him not to. That is what desperation was driving him to, because he knew that he had to find somewhere soon, as the water was getting colder, and he knew that he required shelter. Hence the swim up river. He swam in the middle of the water, avoiding people as much as possible, because he knew they represented danger. Very wise, because he managed to find a yacht marina, and hide underneath some wooden decking for a couple of days, until he was chased off by a group of very brave men who wore uniforms and caps, and had long boat hooks. He was also aware of a strange buzzing sound in the air, like a swarm of angry wasps, but much higher, and he could see two people leaning out of this strange flying contraption. One of them was in charge, the other leaning out and shouting
‘lower, get a lot lower, I can’t film it properly from so high up’ and the other man shouting back
‘you might want to get lower mate, but that thing is huge and I’m taking no chances with it’.
How hurtful, and he had tried to swish water with his tail, but failed and soaked the men in the uniform instead.