About May 5th

Leanne V. Vanessa

Description

Nineteen. A time I will never forget. A time of my absolute breaking. A time when I decided I couldn't bear another day. A time of indefinite hopelessness. A time of ending of all that was vexed. A time of growth and aspiration.A second chance.At new beginnings.

Sujets

• Children's

Informations

• Publié par: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Date de parution: 31 mars 2020
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781645368496
• Langue: English

Extrait

About May 5th
Vanessa Leanne V.
Austin Macauley Publishers
2020-03-31
About May 5th About the Author Dedication Copyright Information © 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 mom and dad: I 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 mom and dad: II 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 Confessions: I 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 mom and dad: III 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 mom and dad: IV 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 confessions: II 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 confessions: III 217 218 219 220 221
About the Author
Vanessa Leanne V. is an aspiring poet/writer. Her love of poetry began when she first heard ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay,’ written by Robert Frost. She came to like poetry more than novels because of the emotion and meaning behind each individual poem. Growing up, she encountered some hardships at an early age and sought the worst for herself; eventually, she found herself to be helpless. As time went on, she helped herself grow into the person she is today—more confident, happier, and healthier in every way. She has taken these hardships from her own personal experience in the hope of helping others grow as well.
Dedication
To my parents, for being so blinded and not knowing about the darkness that lived within me until this day, May 5th, 2017. I kept them in the dark, not telling them a word of why or how I felt the way I did until today. I am sorry for keeping you behind closed doors, I am sorry for the horrible decisions that I have made that you will now know of, and I hope you can find it in your heart to try and understand…
To my oldest sister, for being there for me the day of this event and finally understanding me and why I have done and said certain things, and accepting me for who I am.
To the boy who pushed me off the edge, for saving my life. I used to believe you ruined my life for doing the things you did, but you saved me from taking my own life and from becoming further into the awful person that became of me, and even though you don’t know it, you inspired me to write this book.
To the damaged, I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and to think the only way out of it is to take your own life, but I promise you, there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel, but you must pick yourself up and fight to get to it.
This is for you.
Copyright Information ©
Vanessa Leanne V. (2020)
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
Ordering Information:
Quantity sales: special discounts are available on quantity purchases by corporations, associations, and others. For details, contact the publisher at the address below.
Publisher’s Cataloguing-in-Publication data
Leanne V., Vanessa
About May 5th
ISBN 9781645362128 (Paperback)
ISBN 9781645362111 (Hardback)
ISBN 9781645368496 (ePub e-book)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020901813
www.austinmacauley.com/us
First Published (2020)
Austin Macauley Publishers LLC
40 Wall Street, 28th Floor
New York, NY 10005
USA
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This is a poetry book, which is a product of the author’s imagination. It reflects the author’s recollections of experiences over time. Any resemblance to other works of poetry, quotes, slogans, to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

May 5th, 2017, I was taken into custody for suicide attempt. If the police and firemen showed up any minute later, I would not be here today to tell you my story. There were numerous events that had occurred in my life that had led up to this day. This book tells about the people who have hurt me previously, but mainly about the one who had pushed me off edge. Throughout this process of hurting and healing, I have dragged others along with me who have had to bear this pain along my side because of this choice, to (almost) take my life. Since then, I have grown and turned it into a collection of writings for these individuals (and many others going through similar situations) to understand and hopefully grow to detach from past encounters and put them to rest.
1
one night
it was raining
my bed
beneath my window
my room dark
heart heavy
i never knew of this foreign pain
i did not know i could cry so much
nor so hard
2
i became comfortable in feeling
alone
in feeling broken
it reminded me that i was still alive
3
when the sun sits atop the earth
descending
and it seems like the sky is never ending
is often the time
i run out of things
to keep myself numb
4
today i am very sad
i don’t see things getting any better
only worse
it hurts so bad
please
make it stop
all of it
– may 2017
5
but it’s so easy for people to say
to not do it
because we have “so much to live for”
when they aren’t the ones who lost
the only thing keeping them together
6
i like things to be a little messy
because to me
it is art
every one of our
little imperfections
was perfect
– i miss the art we use to create
7
i try
i really do
every second
of every day
to keep my mind busy
but god forbid
i take one second
and it all comes back to me