Never Been

Amira S. Badawey

Description

Never Been is the story of a mother’s journey to rediscover her daughter. Zoe Baldwin disappears, leaving behind 72 books, three journals, a laptop, and a shopping trolley. As Patricia sets off to find her daughter, she uncovers adversity and heartache. And feelings reach their peek when she decides to read Zoe’s dairies, depicting the year she lived in New York.

Informations

• Publié par: Austin Macauley
• Date de parution: 31 août 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 1
• EAN13: 9789948041351
• Langue: English

Extrait

Never Been
Amira S. Badawey
Austin Macauley Publishers
2022-08-31
Never Been About the Author Dedication Copyright Information © January February March April May June July August September October November December
About the Author
Amira Badawey was born in Charlotte, N.C. At the age of seven she moved with her family to Cairo, Egypt. Amira always had a passion for reading and storytelling; she dreamt one day to write her own stories. After attending a writing class in NYU in 2013, Amira embarked on her own writing journey, based on capturing nuances from her surrounding environment. Drawn to stream of consciousness writing, Amira enjoys examining inner reflections of characters and their struggles with acceptance, belonging, and grief.
Dedication
To Ahmed, Youseef and Zeina Moatz, may you always find the courage to be yourselves.
Copyright Information ©
Amira S. Badawey 2022
The right of Amira S. Badawey to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with Federal Law No. (7) of UAE, Year 2002, Concerning Copyrights and Neighboring Rights.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.
Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to legal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
The age group that matches the content of the books has been classified according to the age classification system issued by the National Media Council.
ISBN – 9789948041344 – (Paperback)
ISBN – 9789948041351 – (E-Book)
Application Number: MC-10-01-9742468
Age Classification: 17+
First Published 2022
AUSTIN MACAULEY PUBLISHERS FZE
Sharjah Publishing City
P.O Box [519201]
Sharjah, UAE
www.austinmacauley.ae
[phone]
“Hello. Is this Mrs. Baldwin?”
“Yes.”
“This is Jose. I’m the super from your daughter’s building. We were cleaning out her apartment and found some of her stuff. We’re supposed to throw out anything people forget, but I thought Zoe would like to have them. I tried to call her but she’s not answering.”
“I’m sorry, are you saying that Zoe has moved out of the building?”
“Yes ma’am. She moved out last month and left a box of stuff and some books. Do you want us to throw them out? That’s what we are supposed to do anyway.”
“No, please don’t do that. I’ll come and take a look. Can you just give me a few days?”
“Well, I don’t know. We’re supposed to start working on the apartment this week. The building manager isn’t gonna like it if we delay.”
“Jose, please. I’ll be on the first flight to New York. Just a day or two. That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’ll see what I can do. But I can’t promise anything. If the boss comes over and sees them, we’re gonna have to throw them out.”
“I understand. Thank you for calling.”
“No problem.”
Patricia placed the phone back in its cradle on the kitchen wall. She was dazed from her conversation with Jose. She walked into the living room. Her husband, Kenneth, sitting in a beige recliner with their two chihuahuas, Samson and Delilah, was watching American Pickers on the History Channel. It took him a few minutes to notice Pat standing in the door way, gazing at the floor.
“What’s the matter? Who was on the phone?” He asked.
“The superintendent from Zoe’s building. He said she moved out a month ago and left some things behind.”
“You didn’t tell me she was moving. Did she get that apartment in Brooklyn?”
“I don’t know. She didn’t mention anything. I’m going to call her.”
She reached for her cell phone and dialed her daughter’s number. There was no answer. She logged onto her computer and tried Skype. Patricia and Zoe Skyped every day. She liked seeing Zoe’s face while they talked. Zoe was offline. Patricia left her a message.
“Isn’t she in Europe?” asked Ken.
“Yes. She’ll be gone for a month. She said that she’ll be off the grid.”
Ken frowned inquisitively.
“No electronic devices, but she always checks her messages. Always. Why would she move out of her apartment? I don’t like this.”
“I’m sure it’s nothing.”
“I have to find a flight to New York.”
“Well, now, wait a minute. Why are you going to New York?”
“To get her stuff.”
“Pat, if she wanted those things, she would’ve taken them.”
“The super said she left books. When have you ever known Zoe to throw away a book, nevertheless books? I’ll sort through the items. If I find something I know she’d want, I’ll ship them back here.”
“Why didn’t you ask the super to ship the books, instead of you going all the way to New York.”
“I’m curious. I want to see her apartment.”
“Fine. God knows you’ve already decided to go, regardless of my opinion. Do you want me to come along?”
“No.”
Patricia took a JetBlue flight the following morning. She arrived at 12:30 noon and took a cab to Rockville Center on Long Island. She checked in at the Hampton Suites and called Jose. They agreed to meet at three o’clock. With a few hours to spare, Patricia decided to explore the vicinity.
The hotel was situated on an inclination along Merrick Road, off Sunrise highway. Patricia put on her winter coat and headed outside. She walked the five blocks to the city center. It was early February. New York’s cold wind seeped into her bones despite layers of clothes. She further insulated herself with gloves, a purple cashmere scarf Zoe gave her for Christmas, and wool stockings. The harsh weather hurt her arthritic joints. She blew into her cupped hands as she walked east on Sunrise. She turned right on Park Avenue. There was an assortment of bars and restaurants, a beaten-up AMC movie theater, ice-creme parlors, and a Starbucks. She crossed the street to indulge in a cup of coffee.
A year before, Patricia received a call from Zoe informing her that she was moving to New York. Zoe had been with her Chicago firm for twelve years, when she resigned. They had promoted her to Director of IT Projects. Patricia couldn’t understand why her daughter would abruptly leave her job, sell her condo, and move to New York.
“I need a break. I can’t do this anymore. I want to focus on other things besides work.” Zoe told her mother.
This was all a surprise to Patricia. Zoe never had other interests beyond her career. Patricia often warned Zoe that she was forfeiting her personal life in sacrifice for her job. Zoe was a private person and Patricia didn’t want to pry, she never asked Zoe about her romantic relationships.
Zoe had always been a bit of a tomboy. She inherited Patricia’s amber curly hair. She kept it firmly pulled back in a tight braid, high on the crown of her head. She rarely wore makeup. “It feels like my face can’t breathe,” she told her mother. Her uniform throughout school and college was jeans, converse snickers, and dark cardigans with plaid shirts. On her sixteenth birthday, Patricia took Zoe to the gynecologist for birth control. As they left the doctor’s office, Zoe murmured, “Don’t worry mom, I won’t have sex while in high school. My job is to study and get good grades.” Zoe was focused on her education. She was an honor student and planned to study Computer Science. She did additional course work and extra curricula activities to leverage her application to the top programs in the country. She rewrote and edited her admittance essay repetitively, until she was happy with the draft. She practiced her responses to interview questions and carefully choose an appropriate outfit, a navy-blue pants suit with a crisp white oxford shirt and black Mary Jane’s. She enrolled in the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
Zoe was a loner. She had one best friend, Alison. They met on the first day of preschool and remained close until the ninth grade when Alison’s family moved to Portland. At first, they exchanged letters regularly and visited over summer breaks. Yet, they grew apart as they transitioned into adulthood. Their correspondence reduced to birthday cards and occasional phone calls. They last saw each other at Alison’s wedding.
“I felt like a stranger, sitting there with her friends. They all know each other. I was the only outsider,” Zoe commented.
Zoe hadn’t spoken to Alison in seven years. At college, Zoe was friendly with everyone, but friends with no one. Classmates joined her study groups for her thorough notes and concise summaries but they didn’t invite her to their parties. Patricia anxiously waited for Zoe to bring home a boy, or girl, to meet her and Ken. But that never happened. Patricia was happy when her daughter got a job offer while in graduate school. Although it kept her in Illinois, Patricia had hoped that Zoe would start living.
Zoe bought a condo two years after moving to Chicago. Her job required frequent traveling to Europe and Asia. Zoe dreaded those business trips. Flying was inconvenient because Zoe suffered from debilitating motion-sickness. She refused to take medication. “It makes me loopy,” she told her mother. To compensate the burden of flying, Zoe appended vacation days to her trips. She explored new cities, visited museums, and experienced local cuisines.
Over the years, Patricia and Zoe maintained daily calls. It was an opportunity for Patricia to offload the burden of her day. Patricia continued to work at the age of sixty-nine. She taught fifth grade math. During their calls, Patricia complained about students’ attitudes and dogmatic school administrations. She also updated Zoe on Ken’s health.
“He’s doing so much better, eating less sodium, and more fish. He likes Mahi, of all things. He has to go for three walks a day, now th