Shattered

Jenell M. Jones M.Ed.

Description

With the trajectory of today’s society, we can all agree that parenting is difficult. Choosing to foster and adopt proves to not be an easy feat. Parents are in constant competition with societal influences and sometimes feel it’s an uphill battle. These same parents are often told they will be supported in the rearing of their children and that adequate resources would be made available. But what happens when you discover the system that promised to help you, would betray you? What happens when you decide to enter into another realm of difficulty – fostering and adopting children who come with mental and physical baggage? Meet Jenell Jones, an adoptive mother who is still trying to find the answers to these questions. In these pages, you will see through a mother’s eyes as she shares her deepest pain for her daughter, “Mercy.” In the end, justice is necessary and peace is questionable.

Sujets

• Vie de famille
• Parentalité et Éducation des Enfants
• Shattered
• Family
• Fiction
• Mercy

Informations

• Publié par: AuthorHouse
• Date de parution: 23 février 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9798823000321
• Langue: English

Extrait

SHATTERED
 
 
 
 
JENELL M. JONES M.ED.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
AuthorHouse™
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.authorhouse.com
Phone: [phone]
 
 
 
 
 
 
© 2023 Jenell M. Jones M.Ed All rights reserved.
 
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
 
Published by AuthorHouse 09/20/2023
 
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0031-4 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0033-8 (hc)
ISBN: 979-8-8230-0032-1 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2023901854
 
 
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
DEDICATION
To my wonderful children, Cedrick & M ercy
I dedicate this book to you. I have loved you more than you could ever know, I want the best for you. I am so incredibly proud of each of you. All unique, all beautiful and brilliant. You are my heartbeats! I know you wonder why I do what I do, why I stay—why, why, why!
This book hopefully will give you answers.
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Preface
Introduction
Meeting Little Nikki
The Visits
Michael’s Mom
Breakfast
The Shelter
Mercy’s New Parents
The Examples
Mercy’s New Big Sister
Another Kid Just like Mercy
Mercy’s New Eldest Siblings
The Eyes on Mercy
Is This Normal?
The Little Thief
The Ultimate Chase
Cannot have Perfect
Prior Hospitalizations
Compassion and Astonishment for Mercy’s Past
Exhausted Mama
Back to Mommy Life
COVID Side Effects
The Not So Perfect Easter
Am I Overreacting?
The Meltdown
Commands
From Bad to Worse
Isolation
Mercy’s Biological Mother
Denials
Back to Arizona
Escape
Jacob’s Law
The Unimaginable
Broken
Arizona Crisis
Facing Mercy
Elope
Against All Odds
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Rolanda, you may never know how those talks ground me and push me forward! You have always looked me in the eyes and made me see. The honesty in this book was birthed from the honesty you made me have with myself. Thank you for not allowing me to be a victim. Thank you for making me fight when I wanted to give up. Thank you for making me take care of myself! Thank you for being my travel friend! God bless you, cousin!
Delisha, Rhonda, Sarissa, Alyssa, and Michelle, because of you I can do this. My gratitude cannot be expressed!
Pastor Robert! God gets all the glory, but thank you for being the vessel that has been my example thank you for taking the time to put me back together again.
First Lady Pat, thank you, my dear friend. I love you so much!
Mom, I am who I am because of you and your sacrifices! I love you!
Dhara, without you this would not be! I cannot express my appreciation enough! Thank you for the encouragement and push!
Eboni. Girl! The transformation! God bless you, the intercessory on my behalf. I appreciate you. Thank you for letting God use you. Thank you for being a safe place.
PREFACE
I acknowledge that my story may not be unique, but the journey is one that must be shared with the masses. I know there is an audience of mothers, fathers, and children who have experienced situations that mirror mine, and I am choosing to express my story because a change must come. The laws and political views that affect parentless children are outrageous. Who are their advocates? Around this country, hundreds of adoptive parents are petitioning for the rights of all unwanted children in the world. Who is going to care for them in a manner to make them healthy productive citizens?
These children will be released into society without real treatment and real care. The abuse and neglect that come from systems meant for protection must be held accountable for their actions.
As I sat down to complete this book, I held on to the knowledge that my adopted daughter was placed in a confinement cell in an out-of-state facility due to her behavior.
I, like many adoptive parents, wish that unconditional love, safety and security, and hugs and kisses would be enough to save our child. I, like many adoptive parents, thought that pretty dresses, fun toys, and fancy bows would make my daughter whole. I, like many adoptive parents, wish that every child who is taken into our homes and given a belly full of food, is changed for the better. But years of neglect, abuse, and facing an unjust system prior to the entrance into a new world, a new family, will erupt in the fabric of a child’s DNA, causing them to change before your very eyes.
My life was changed, my family was changed. Our entire structure as a family unit would be compromised. Those who would benefit from our pain would come from the highest levels of child welfare institutions. They would proclaim to be looking into the interests of our child, but all the while would be collecting these young bodies as numbers.
This is our story.
INTRODUCTION
A home is a place where a person feels wanted, needed, and cared for, something I had longed for my entire life. It has always been the ideal safe place, filled with love and support for freedom of expression. The idea of “home” is what I have dedicated my life to building. Could it have been because I had not had a homelike experience while growing up? Could it have been that I had lacked the support and love I needed to grow into my own? The immediate answers were not easily found, but I vowed to create an environment that was different than my previous experiences.
My childhood was not an ideal one, but it was not always that way. Early on, I saw stellar examples of traditional male and female roles within a household. My father worked, my mother was available, and we children were happy. Soon the roles would reverse, and I would question the identity of a family due to various incidents. My father would no longer be able to provide for my siblings and me like he should have because of his need to fill his addiction. My mother would work eighty-hour weeks to make ends meet and supply our basic needs. There would now be an imbalance.
As an adult, I wanted to create a home structure of my imagination for others because I knew that there was more to a house than the construction. There were elements that could not be nailed and painted. It was more than the concrete that was poured between pillars. And if I could be transparent, I can admit that I am still building the residence of my dreams daily. My home changes as more people are added and subtracted from my life. Today my home consists of my husband Kyle, my three biological children, my two adoptive children, my stepdaughter, and my nephew.
I am Jenell Jones, the creator of my strong, inclusive, African American, and Christian home. I have a huge family, and everyone in my family—whether I birthed them physically or not—is wanted, needed, and cared for. I am willing to sacrifice anything for my family, and I strongly believe that raising children is what God has empowered me to do.
While my children were younger, I stayed with them and ran an in-house childcare center. I watched and cared for other children for Valley of the Sun (greater Phoenix area) working parents. It would not be until Cheri, my youngest biological daughter, went to kindergarten that I would purchase my first day care facility. Over the years, I have owned and operated five day cares and a school, giving me more experience with dealing with children than the average human being.
Our property, a 4,300-square-foot house with four bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms, a huge driveway and a giant backyard, is in Arizona, and our driveway is filled with cars at any given time. These vehicles can belong to family members, nannies, house cleaners, caretakers, landscapers, therapists, tutors, etc., all who visit our home for distinct reasons.
During weekends our extended family, friends, and coworkers make this space lively and fun. My children are known for bringing friends over just to hang out. And who would not want to come? Our pantries are always full, there is someone to talk to at any time, plenty of toys and games to play, and lots of books and entertainment.
The patriarch of our family, my husband Kyle, is a military veteran who also comes from a big family himself. We both work hard to provide and to accommodate the lifestyle we have acquired and assist family to overcome challenging times. We are always there for our extended family and the church family, and it is our goal that our children grow with values instilled of love, gratitude, and respect, and that they become independent, strong, and hardworking individuals. But sometimes we do not reach our goals. Sometimes we sacrifice and plan, not knowing that eruptions are impeding in the near-distant future. You cannot plan for it, but you must bear down and take it.
This story is about my journey as an adoptive parent to Mercy, my second adoptive child, and how she became an intricate part of our family dynamics. This story is about the changes and challenges her presence and, most recently, her absence have brought to our home. This story is about the dysfunction within the adoption system and how laws and health care have changed our liv