Karaoke in Portland

Marika Armstrong

Description

When Karen McPherson describes her best life as that of a hibernating bear, her best friend resorts to blackmail to blast her out of the hole she's fallen into. The challenge: write 50,000 words on any subject by April Fool's Day or face the consequences. What begings as a reluctant effort to avoid public humiliation soon takes on a much greater significance. Chronicling her daily life and family history causes her to reexamine her assumptions and leads to surprising conclusions about her life and relationships.

Sujets

• Science Fiction
• Mistress
• Story
• Hollywood Mistress
• Life
• Fiction

Informations

• Publié par: Xlibris US
• Date de parution: 26 juillet 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669839354
• Langue: English

Extrait

Karaoke in Portland
 
 
 
 
 
 
Marika Armstrong
 
Copyright © 2022 by Marika Armstrong.
 

Library of Congress Control Number:
2022913792
ISBN:
Hardcover
978-1-6698-3937-8

Softcover
978-1-6698-3936-1

eBook
978-1-6698-3935-4
 
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
 
Rev. date: 07/21/2022
 
 
 
Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
840983
CONTENTS
Chapter 1 The Challenge
Chapter 2 The Oregon Connection
Chapter 3 Out of Iowa
Chapter 4 Life Maintenance
Chapter 5 Growing up McPherson
Chapter 6 College
Chapter 7 Romance
Chapter 8 Marriage
Chapter 9 The Expanding Family
Chapter 10 Children and Other Animals
Chapter 11 Adjustments
Chapter 12 Disintegration
Chapter 13 Tune in Tomorrow
Chapter 14 Adjustment
Chapter 15 Community
Chapter 16 Art and Life
Chapter 17 New Year
Chapter 18 Reckoning
Chapter 19 Finale
Cast of Characters
Chapter 1
The Challenge
Never underestimate the power of blackmail to change a life. When I awoke to the sound of rain that October morning, I considered staying in bed for the rest of the day. I had no job to go to and a doctor’s appointment I would rather skip. Getting up seemed like too much effort, and pretending to be productive was exhausting. Burying my face in the pillow, I tried to ignore the thought that was slowly pushing its way to the forefront of my mind.
Oh yes, lunch with Kate. If I didn’t show up, she’d drive over and drag me out of the house. I groaned and stumbled to the kitchen to make coffee. Disgusting, I thought. The sink was full of dirty dishes, and clothes and sports equipment were piled on every available surface. Somebody hadn’t been doing their chores.
*     *     *
Three hours later, I sat in Kate’s gleaming kitchen, drinking tea and griping. “It’s not fair,” I said. “I live with three other adults. We have a chore schedule, but the place is still a mess. The only organizing that gets done is done by me. Me! The person least equipped to do it. I should have been a bear, peacefully hibernating in her cave, buried under a pile of leaves or something.”
“Knowing you, a big pile of something,” she said. “As I remember, you threatened Roxie’s life the last time she tried to rearrange your kitchen.”
I chose to ignore that. “I’d come out to forage in the spring, after it stopped raining.”
“You’d starve,” she said. “It never stops raining in Portland.”
Kate could be maddening. “I’d have gotten a degree in ursine studies,” I continued. “A double major in ursine studies and social work. I could have worked for a zoo and made a lot of money running socialization groups for bears.”
“You already live in a zoo,” she pointed out, “and you’ve spent years trying to socialize bears. It’s called child-rearing. You’re done, and now you need an outlet for your creative weirdness. Like this.” She shoved a folded newspaper in my face and jabbed her finger at an article. “It’s called NaNoWriMo. People all over the country are going to write fifty thousand words in November. They count your words, and if you write fifty thousand, they’ll give you a certificate.”
“Now that’s an incentive,” I said. “Only fifty thousand words in a month, you say. As I have better things to do and November is only five days away, I think I’ll decline. It’s not as if I have anything to write about anyway.”
“Quit whining,” she said. “Write down all those stories you’ve been talking about for years. You’ve got the time, and since I’m feeling generous, I’ll extend your deadline until April 1. If you don’t finish it by then, Roxie and I will drag you off to a karaoke bar and make you sing ‘Boots.’”
Only fifty thousand words. Kate had that self-satisfied look on her face that she gets when she’s just rearranged someone’s life. I didn’t bother to argue. Ours is an unlikely friendship. She’s everything that I’m not—beautiful, decisive, and successful. Bossy. Unlike me, she makes all the right choices. Despite this, we’ve been friends forever, even moving to Portland and eventually raising our children together.
I sighed. I’d better start writing, or she and Roxie would drag me up to the microphone and force me to sing in front of our friends. They’d do it because my daughter, Roxie, is a conniving brat, and Kate has the blackmail material that only a college roommate can have. Of course, she’d already told my kids a lot of the stories, so what difference would a few more make? Seeing her smirk, I dismissed the idea.
*     *     *
I fell for a journalism major in my freshman year. He should probably have been in theater since he was the star of his own drama. I spent my first semester giddily orbiting around him until he decided he needed a new leading lady. Sighing tragically, I retreated to my bed with a bag of Tootsie Rolls and spent the next week writing bad poetry and gaining five pounds. By Friday night, Kate had had enough. Stomping into our dorm room, she began rummaging through my clothes. “What are you doing?” I asked listlessly.
“I’m trying to find you something presentable to wear,” she said. She shook her head at the selection. “You’re going out.”
“No, you are going out,” I said. “Now!”
“You bet! It’s the weekend, there’s a party, and you’re coming with me,” she said as she grabbed the Tootsie Rolls. I snatched them back and growled.
I never had a chance. She has five younger brothers whose lives she still directs from a distance. Before I knew it, I was wearing one of her shirts and listening to music with a beer in my hand. Not long after that, my former boyfriend walked into the room with his newest acquisition—a sorority girl with perfect blonde hair. I seethed as I watched them whispering together and laughing as they looked in my direction. The nerve of them.
Straightening my back, I sat up in my chair and smiled. As I watched him posturing, I wondered what I had seen in him. In another five years, he’d be fat and doing a comb-over; yet there he sat, preening as if he were God’s gift to a grateful feminine populace. Danny boy was overdue for a lesson, and I was just the person to teach it.
I don’t really drink—maybe a glass of wine occasionally. There’s a reason. That night, I sat back to wait and had a beer whenever someone offered me one. When they played “These Boots Are Made for Walking,” I knew that lessoning time had arrived. Thanks to Mom, who had played it over and over for months, I knew all the words.
When I pushed my chair away from the table and wobbled to my feet, Kate tried to push me back into it. “Ignore him and sit down!” she hissed.
I shoved her away and exclaimed, “No! I’m gonna sing along with Nancy.” I have never had any problem projecting. When we were kids, my brother used to complain that he could hear me all the way down the block. Kate knew when to back down.
I suppose I got a bit creative with the lyrics. I remember people laughing and yelling, “You tell ’em, girl!” By the time I finished with a triumphant growl, “One of these days, these boots are gonna walk all over you,” the frat guys were howling like wolves, and Dan was staring straight ahead. The blonde looked like she wanted to crawl under the table. I took a bow, blew them a kiss, and exited with a womanly strut.
Unfortunately, I ruined the effect by tripping over the feet of a good-looking guy. He gave me an appreciative look, helped me up, and said, “That was the best show that I’ve seen in a long time.” He told me later that he decided he was going to be careful to stay on my good side, because there was no telling what I might do.
He should have remembered that. It would have saved us both a lot of trouble.
*     *     *
Returning to the present, I demanded, “Why are you so determined that I do this?”
Kate stared into her teacup and said quietly, “I’ve been worried about you. It’s as if you’ve been slowly fading. I’m afraid that if you don’t do something soon, the woman I’ve known will disappear.”
I blinked rapidly and grabbed a cookie. “All right!” I said. “I’ll write it. It’ll serve you right if I hand you my journal.”
“Ooh, juicy,” she said.
“You’ve got it. It will be full of the scandalous adventures of Kate Myles. I’ll put them in a blog, - as soon as I get Nick to show me how. Then you and Roxie will sing the dinosaur song in front of all those people I know you’re going to invite.”
She laughed. “I don’t think so. My cat’s more tech savvy than you are, and your son would never let himself be trapped in a room with you and a computer. I’m going to record you, and we’ll play ‘Boots’ on special occasions.”
“Dream on,” I said, “and start practicing the dinosaur song.”
So, - that’s why I’m sitting in front of a computer, pa