Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman

Laurence Sterne

Description

This multi-volume comic masterpiece is a must-read for fans of literary humor writing. An inventive pastiche of a staggering array of eighteenth-century thinkers, writers, and artists, Tristram Shandy combines intellectual allusions with rollicking -- and sometimes bawdy -- humor.

Informations

• Publié par: The Floating Press
• Date de parution: 01 septembre 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781775419198
• Langue: English

Extrait

THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENTLEMAN
VOLUMES I - IV
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LAURENCE STERNE
 
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The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman Volumes I - IV First published in 1759 ISBN 978-1-775419-19-8 © 2010 The Floating Press
While every effort has been used to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information contained in The Floating Press edition of this book, The Floating Press does not assume liability or responsibility for any errors or omissions in this book. The Floating Press does not accept responsibility for loss suffered as a result of reliance upon the accuracy or currency of information contained in this book. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Many suitcases look alike.
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Contents
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Dedication THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENT—VOLUME THE FIRST Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Chapter XXI Chapter XXII Chapter XXIII Chapter XXIV Chapter XXV Chapter XXVI Chapter XXVII Chapter XXVIII Chapter XXIX Chapter XXX Chapter XXXI Chapter XXXII Chapter XXXIII Chapter XXXIV Chapter XXXV Chapter XXXVI Chapter XXXVII Chapter XXXVIII Chapter XXXIX Chapter XL Chapter XLI Chapter XLII Chapter XLIII Chapter XLIV Chapter XLV Chapter XLVI Chapter XLVII Chapter XLVIII Chapter XLIX Chapter L Chapter LI Chapter LII THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENT—VOLUME THE SECOND Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Chapter XXI Chapter XXII Chapter XXIII Chapter XXIV Chapter XXV Chapter XXVI Chapter XXVII Chapter XXVIII Chapter XXIX Chapter XXX Chapter XXXI Chapter XXXII Chapter XXXIII Chapter XXXIV Chapter XXXV Chapter XXXVI Chapter XXXVII Chapter XXXVIII Chapter XXXIX Chapter XL Chapter XLI Chapter XLII Chapter XLIII Chapter XLIV Chapter XLV Chapter XLVI Chapter XLVII Chapter XVLIII Chapter XLIX Chapter L Chapter LI Chapter LII Chapter LIII Chapter LIV Chapter LV Chapter LVI Chapter LVII Chapter LVIII Chapter LX Chapter LXI Chapter LXII Chapter LXIII Chapter LXIV Chapter LXV Chapter LXVI Chapter LXVII THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENT—VOLUME THE THIRD Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Chapter XXI Chapter XXII Chapter XXIII Chapter XXIV Chapter XXV Chapter XXVI Chapter XXVII Chapter XXVIII Chapter XXIX Chapter XXX Chapter XXXI Chapter XXXII Chapter XXXIII Chapter XXXIV Chapter XXXV Chapter XXXVI Chapter XXXVII Chapter XXXVIII Chapter XXXIX Chapter XL Chapter XLI Chapter XLII Chapter XLIII Chapter XLIV Chapter XLV Chapter XLVI Chapter XLVII Chapter XLVIII Chapter XLIX Chapter L Chapter LI Chapter LII Chapter LIII Chapter LIV Chapter LV Chapter LVI Chapter LVII Chapter LVIII Chapter LIX Chapter LX Chapter LXI Chapter LXII Chapter LXIII Chapter LXIV Chapter LXV Chapter LXVI Chapter LXVII Chapter LXVIII Chapter LXIX Chapter LXX Chapter LXXI Chapter LXXII Chapter LXXIII Chapter LXXIV Chapter LXXV Chapter LXXVI Chapter LXXVII Chapter LXXVIII Chapter LXXIX Chapter LXXX Chapter LXXXI Chapter LXXXII Chapter LXXXIII Chapter LXXXIV Chapter LXXXV Chapter LXXXVI Chapter LXXXVII Chapter LXXXVIII Chapter LXXXIX Chapter XC Chapter XCI Chapter XCII Chapter XCIII Chapter XCIV Chapter XCV Chapter XCVI Chapter XCVII Chapter XCVIII Chapter XCIX Chapter C Chapter CI Chapter CII THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENT—VOLUME THE FOURTH Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X Chapter XI Chapter XII Chapter XIII Chapter XIV Chapter XV Chapter XVI Chapter XVII Chapter XVIII Chapter XIX Chapter XX Chapter XXI Chapter XXII Chapter XXIII Chapter XXIV Chapter XXV Chapter XXVI Chapter XXVII Chapter XXVIII Chapter XXIX Chapter XXX Chapter XXXI Chapter XXXII Chapter XXXIII Chapter XXXIV Chapter XXXV Chapter XXXVI Chapter XXXVII Chapter XXXVIII Chapter XXXIX Chapter XL Chapter XLI Chapter XLII Chapter XLIII Chapter XLIV Chapter XLV Chapter XLVI Chapter XLVII Chapter XLVIII Chapter XLIX Chapter L Chapter LI Chapter LII Chapter LIII Chapter LIV Chapter LV Chapter LVI Chapter LVII Chapter LVIII Chapter LIX Chapter LX Chapter LXI Chapter LXII Chapter LXIII Chapter LXIV Chapter LXV Chapter LXVI Chapter LXVII Chapter LXVIII Chapter LXIX Chapter LXX Chapter LXXI Chapter LXXII Chapter LXXIII Chapter LXXIV Chapter LXXV Chapter LXXVI Chapter LXXVII Chapter LXXVIII Chapter LXXIX Chapter LXXX Chapter LXXXI Chapter LXXXII Chapter LXXXIII Chapter LXXXIV Chapter LXXXV Chapter LXXXVI Chapter LXXXVII Chapter LXXXVIII Chapter LXXXIX Chapter XC Chapter XCI Chapter XCII Endnotes
Dedication
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To the Right Honourable Mr. Pitt.
Sir,
Never poor Wight of a Dedicator had less hopes from his Dedication,than I have from this of mine; for it is written in a bye corner of thekingdom, and in a retir'd thatch'd house, where I live in a constantendeavour to fence against the infirmities of ill health, and otherevils of life, by mirth; being firmly persuaded that every time a mansmiles,—but much more so, when he laughs, it adds something to thisFragment of Life.
I humbly beg, Sir, that you will honour this book, by taking it—(notunder your Protection,—it must protect itself, but)—into the countrywith you; where, if I am ever told, it has made you smile; or canconceive it has beguiled you of one moment's pain—I shall think myselfas happy as a minister of state;—perhaps much happier than any one (oneonly excepted) that I have read or heard of.
I am, Great Sir, (and, what is more to your Honour) I am, Good Sir, YourWell-wisher, and most humble Fellow-subject,
The Author.
THE LIFE AND OPINIONS OF TRISTRAM SHANDY, GENT—VOLUME THE FIRST
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Chapter I
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I wish either my father or my mother, or indeed both of them, as theywere in duty both equally bound to it, had minded what they were aboutwhen they begot me; had they duly consider'd how much depended upon whatthey were then doing;—that not only the production of a rationalBeing was concerned in it, but that possibly the happy formation andtemperature of his body, perhaps his genius and the very cast of hismind;—and, for aught they knew to the contrary, even the fortunes ofhis whole house might take their turn from the humours and dispositionswhich were then uppermost;—Had they duly weighed and considered allthis, and proceeded accordingly,—I am verily persuaded I should havemade a quite different figure in the world, from that in which thereader is likely to see me.—Believe me, good folks, this is not soinconsiderable a thing as many of you may think it;—you have all, Idare say, heard of the animal spirits, as how they are transfused fromfather to son, &c. &c.—and a great deal to that purpose:—Well, you maytake my word, that nine parts in ten of a man's sense or his nonsense,his successes and miscarriages in this world depend upon their motionsand activity, and the different tracks and trains you put them into, sothat when they are once set a-going, whether right or wrong, 'tis nota half-penny matter,—away they go cluttering like hey-go mad; and bytreading the same steps over and over again, they presently make a roadof it, as plain and as smooth as a garden-walk, which, when they areonce used to, the Devil himself sometimes shall not be able to drivethem off it.
Pray my Dear, quoth my mother, have you not forgot to wind up theclock?—Good G..! cried my father, making an exclamation, but takingcare to moderate his voice at the same time,—Did ever woman, since thecreation of the world, interrupt a man with such a silly question? Pray,what was your father saying?—Nothing.
Chapter II
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—Then, positively, there is nothing in the question that I cansee, either good or bad.—Then, let me tell you, Sir, it was a veryunseasonable question at least,—because it scattered and dispersed theanimal spirits, whose business it was to have escorted and gone hand inhand with the Homunculus, and conducted him safe to the place destinedfor his reception.
The Homunculus, Sir, in however low and ludicrous a light he may appear,in this age of levity, to the eye of folly or prejudice;—to the eye ofreason in scientific research, he stands confess'd—a Being guarded andcircumscribed with rights.—The minutest philosophers, who by the bye,have the most enlarged understandings, (their souls being inversely astheir enquiries) shew us incontestably, that the Homunculus is createdby the same hand,—engender'd in the same course of nature,—endow'dwith the same loco-motive powers and faculties with us:—That heconsists as we do, of skin, hair, fat, flesh, veins, arteries,ligaments, nerves, cartilages, bones, marrow, brains, glands, genitals,humours, and articulations;—is a Being of as much activity,—and in allsenses of the word, as much and as truly our fellow-creature as my LordChancellor of England.—He may be benefitted,—he may be injured,—hemay obtain redress; in a word, he has all the claims and rights ofhumanity, which Tully, Puffendorf, or the best ethick writers allow toarise out of that state and relation.
Now, dear Sir, what if any accident had befallen him in his wayalone!—or that through terror of it, natural to so young a traveller,my little Gentleman had got to his journey's end miserably spent;—hismuscular strength and virility worn down to a thread;—his own animalspirits ruffled beyond description,—and that in this sad disorder'dstate of nerves, he had lain down a prey to sudden starts, or aseries of melancholy dreams and fancies, for nine long, long monthstogether.—I trembl