Monikins

Fenimore Cooper James

Description

When several of his novels were met with mixed critical and popular reactions, American author James Fenimore Cooper took a break from the romantic epics that had long been his stock-in-trade and tried his hand at Swiftian satire. The fantastical creatures who populate thinly veiled versions of England and America in the novel have one thing in common with humans: an abiding preoccupation with money.

Sujets

• Fantasy (canción de Mariah Carey)
• Fantasy

Informations

• Publié par: The Floating Press
• Date de parution: 01 décembre 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781776595273
• Langue: English

Extrait

THE MONIKINS
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JAMES FENIMORE COOPER
 
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The Monikins First published in 1835 Epub ISBN 978-1-77659-527-3 Also available: PDF ISBN 978-1-77659-528-0 © 2014 The Floating Press and its licensors. All rights reserved. While every effort has been used to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information contained in The Floating Press edition of this book, The Floating Press does not assume liability or responsibility for any errors or omissions in this book. The Floating Press does not accept responsibility for loss suffered as a result of reliance upon the accuracy or currency of information contained in this book. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Many suitcases look alike. Visit www.thefloatingpress.com
Contents
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Introduction Chapter I - The Author's Pedigree,—Also that of His Father Chapter II - Touching Myself and Ten Thousand Pounds Chapter III - Opinions of Our Author's Ancestor, Together with Some ofHis Own, and Some of Other People's Chapter IV - Showing the Ups and Downs, the Hopes and Fears, and theVagaries of Love, Some Views of Death, and an Account of an Inheritance Chapter V - About the Social-Stake System, the Dangers of Concentration,and Other Moral and Immoral Curiosities Chapter VI - A Theory of Palpable Sublimity—Some Practical Ideas, andthe Commencement of Adventures Chapter VII - Touching an Amphibious Animal, a Special Introduction, andits Consequences Chapter VIII - An Introduction to Four New Characters, Some Touches ofPhilosophy, and a Few Capital Thoughts on Political Economy Chapter IX - The Commencement of Wonders, Which Are the MoreExtraordinary on Account of Their Truth Chapter X - A Great Deal of Negotiation, in Which Human Shrewdnessis Completely Shamed, and Human Ingenuity is Shown to Be of a VerySecondary Quality Chapter XI - A Philosophy that is Bottomed on Something Substantial—SomeReasons Plainly Presented, and Cavilling Objections Put to Flight by aCharge of Logical Bayonets Chapter XII - Better and Better—A Higher Flight of Reason—More ObviousTruths, Deeper Philosophy, and Facts that Even an Ostrich Might Digest Chapter XIII - A Chapter of Preparations—Discrimination in Character—ATight Fit, and Other Conveniences, with Some Judgment Chapter XIV - How to Steer Small—How to Run the Gauntlet with aShip—How to Go Clear—A New-Fashioned Screw—Dock, and CertainMile-Stones Chapter XV - An Arrival—Forms of Reception—Several New Christenings—AnOfficial Document, and Terra Firma Chapter XVI - An Inn—Debts Paid in Advance, and a Singular Touch ofHuman Nature Found Closely Incorporated with Monikin Nature Chapter XVII - New Lords, New Laws—Gyration, Rotation, and AnotherNation; Also an Invitation Chapter XVIII - A Court, a Court-Dress, and a Courtier—Justice inVarious Aspects, as Well as Honor Chapter XIX - About the Humility of Professional Saints, a Successionof Tails, a Bride and Bridegroom, and Other Heavenly Matters, DiplomacyIncluded Chapter XX - A Very Common Case: Or a Great Deal of Law, and Very LittleJustice—Heads and Tails, with the Dangers of Each Chapter XXI - Better and Better—More Law and More Justice—Tails andHeads: The Importance of Keeping Each in its Proper Place Chapter XXII - A Neophyte in Diplomacy—Diplomatic Introduction—ACalculation—A Shipment of Opinions—How to Choose an Invoice, with anAssortment Chapter XXIII - Political Boundaries—Political Rights—PoliticalSelections, and Political Disquisitions; with Political Results Chapter XXIV - An Arrival—An Election—Architecture—A Rolling-Pin, andPatriotism of the Most Approved Water Chapter XXV - A Fundamental Principle, a Fundamental Law, and aFundamental Error Chapter XXVI - How to Enact Laws—Oratory, Logic, and Eloquence; AllConsidered in Their Every-Day Aspects Chapter XXVII - An Effect of Logarithms on Morals—An Obscuration, aDissertation, and a Calculation Chapter XXVIII - The Importance of Motives to a Legislator—MoralConsecutiveness, Comets, Kites, and a Convoy; with Some Every-DayLegislation; Together with Cause and Effect Chapter XXIX - Some Explanations—A Human Appetite—A Dinner and a BonneBouche Chapter XXX - Explanations—A Leave-Taking—Love—Confessions, but NoPenitence Endnotes
Introduction
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It is not improbable that some of those who read this book, may feel awish to know in what manner I became possessed of the manuscript. Sucha desire is too just and natural to be thwarted, and the tale shall betold as briefly as possible.
During the summer of 1828, while travelling among those valleys ofSwitzerland which lie between the two great ranges of the Alps, and inwhich both the Rhone and the Rhine take their rise, I had passed fromthe sources of the latter to those of the former river, and had reachedthat basin in the mountains that is so celebrated for containing theglacier of the Rhone, when chance gave me one of those rare momentsof sublimity and solitude, which are the more precious in the otherhemisphere from their infrequency. On every side the view was boundedby high and ragged mountains, their peaks glittering near the sun, whiledirectly before me, and on a level with the eye, lay that miraculousfrozen sea, out of whose drippings the Rhone starts a foaming river, toglance away to the distant Mediterranean. For the first time, duringa pilgrimage of years, I felt alone with nature in Europe. Alas! theenjoyment, as all such enjoyments necessarily are amid the throngs ofthe old world, was short and treacherous. A party came round the angleof a rock, along the narrow bridle-path, in single file; two ladies onhorseback, followed by as many gentlemen on foot, and preceded by theusual guide. It was but small courtesy to rise and salute the dove-likeeyes and blooming cheeks of the former, as they passed. They wereEnglish, and the gentlemen appeared to recognize me as a countryman. Oneof the latter stopped, and politely inquired if the passage of theFurca was obstructed by snow. He was told not, and in return for theinformation said that I would find the Grimsel a little ticklish; "but,"he added, smiling, "the ladies succeeded in crossing, and you willscarcely hesitate." I thought I might get over a difficulty that hisfair companions had conquered. He then told me Sir Herbert Taylor wasmade adjutant-general, and wished me good morning.
I sat reflecting on the character, hopes, pursuits, and interests ofman, for an hour, concluding that the stranger was a soldier, who letsome of the ordinary workings of his thoughts overflow in this brief andcasual interview. To resume my solitary journey, cross the Rhone, andtoil my way up the rugged side of the Grimsel, consumed two more hours,and glad was I to come in view of the little chill-looking sheet ofwater on its summit, which is called the Lake of the Dead. The path wasfilled with snow, at a most critical point, where, indeed, a misplacedfootstep might betray the incautious to their destruction. A large partyon the other side appeared fully aware of the difficulty, for it hadhalted, and was in earnest discussion with the guide, touching thepracticability of passing. It was decided to attempt the enterprise.First came a female of one of the sweetest, serenest countenances I hadever seen. She, too, was English; and though she trembled, and blushed,and laughed at herself, she came on with spirit, and would have reachedmy side in safety, had not an unlucky stone turned beneath a foot thatwas much too pretty for those wild hills. I sprang forward, and wasso happy as to save her from destruction. She felt the extent of theobligation, and expressed her thanks modestly but with fervor. In aminute we were joined by her husband, who grasped my hand with warmfeeling, or rather with the emotion one ought to feel who had witnessedthe risk he had just run of losing an angel. The lady seemed satisfiedat leaving us together.
"You are an Englishman?" said the stranger.
"An American."
"An American! This is singular—will you pardon a question?—You havemore than saved my life—you have probably saved my reason—will youpardon a question?—Can money serve you?"
I smiled, and told him, odd as it might appear to him, that though anAmerican, I was a gentleman. He appeared embarrassed, and his fine faceworked, until I began to pity him, for it was evident he wished to showme in some way, how much he felt he was my debtor, and yet he did notknow exactly what to propose.
"We may meet again," I said, squeezing his hand.
"Will you receive my card?"
"Most willingly."
He put "Viscount Householder" into my hand, and in return I gave him myown humble appellation.
He looked from the card to me, and from me to the card, and someagreeable idea appeared to flash upon his mind.
"Shall you visit Geneva this summer?" he asked, earnestly.
"Within a month."
"Your address—"
"Hotel de l'Ecu."
"You shall hear from me. Adieu."
We parted, he, his lovely wife, and his guides descending to the Rhone,while I pursued my way to the Hospice of the Grimsel. Within the month Ireceived a large packet at l'Ecu. It contained a valuable diamond ring,with a request that I would wear it, as a memorial of Lady Householder,and a fairly written manuscript. The following short note explained thewishes of the writer:
"Providence brought us together for more purposes than were at firstapparent. I have long hesitated about publishing the accompanyingnarrative, for in England there is a disposition to cavil atextraordinary facts, but the distance of America from my place ofresidence will completely save me from ridicule. The world must have thetruth, and I see no better means than by resorting to your agency. AllI ask is, that you will have the book fairly printed, and that you willsend one copy to my address, Householder Hall, Dorsetshire, Eng., andanother to Captain Noah Poke, Stonington, Conn., in your own country. MyAnna prays for you, and is ever your friend. Do not forget us.
"Yours, most faithfully,"
"HOUSEHOLDER."
I have rigidly complied with this request, a