Wrong Box

Stevenson Robert Louis

Description

Though his adventure tales now rank among the most translated novels in the English language, Robert Louis Stevenson was a gifted writer who produced works in a number of different literary genres. The Wrong Box is a satirical novel that Stevenson wrote in partnership with Lloyd Osbourne, a young writer who happened to be Stevenson's stepson. The novel deals with a pair of brothers involved in a complex investment scheme that is revealed to be fraudulent. Critics and fans alike regard the novel as one of the most humorous financial farces ever written.

Informations

• Publié par: The Floating Press
• Date de parution: 01 février 2011
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781775451365
• Langue: English

Extrait

THE WRONG BOX
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ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON
LLOYD OSBOURNE
 
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The Wrong Box First published in 1889 ISBN 978-1-775451-36-5 © 2011 The Floating Press
While every effort has been used to ensure the accuracy and reliability of the information contained in The Floating Press edition of this book, The Floating Press does not assume liability or responsibility for any errors or omissions in this book. The Floating Press does not accept responsibility for loss suffered as a result of reliance upon the accuracy or currency of information contained in this book. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Many suitcases look alike.
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Contents
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Preface Chapter I - In Which Morris Suspects Chapter II - In Which Morris Takes Action Chapter III - The Lecturer at Large Chapter IV - The Magistrate in the Luggage Van Chapter V - Mr Gideon Forsyth and the Gigantic Box Chapter VI - The Tribulations of Morris: Part the First Chapter VII - In Which William Dent Pitman Takes Legal Advice Chapter VIII - In Which Michael Finsbury Enjoys a Holiday Chapter IX - Glorious Conclusion of Michael Finsbury's Holiday Chapter X - Gideon Forsyth and the Broadwood Grand Chapter XI - The Maestro Jimson Chapter XII - Positively the Last Appearance of the Broadwood Grand Chapter XIII - The Tribulations of Morris: Part the Second Chapter XIV - William Bent Pitman Hears of Something to His Advantage Chapter XV - The Return of the Great Vance Chapter XVI - Final Adjustment of the Leather Business
Preface
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'Nothing like a little judicious levity,' says Michael Finsbury in thetext: nor can any better excuse be found for the volume in the reader'shand. The authors can but add that one of them is old enough to beashamed of himself, and the other young enough to learn better.
R. L. S. L. O.
Chapter I - In Which Morris Suspects
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How very little does the amateur, dwelling at home at ease, comprehendthe labours and perils of the author, and, when he smilingly skims thesurface of a work of fiction, how little does he consider the hoursof toil, consultation of authorities, researches in the Bodleian,correspondence with learned and illegible Germans—in one word, the vastscaffolding that was first built up and then knocked down, to while awayan hour for him in a railway train! Thus I might begin this tale witha biography of Tonti—birthplace, parentage, genius probably inheritedfrom his mother, remarkable instance of precocity, etc—and a completetreatise on the system to which he bequeathed his name. The materialis all beside me in a pigeon-hole, but I scorn to appear vainglorious.Tonti is dead, and I never saw anyone who even pretended to regret him;and, as for the tontine system, a word will suffice for all the purposesof this unvarnished narrative.
A number of sprightly youths (the more the merrier) put up a certain sumof money, which is then funded in a pool under trustees; coming on fora century later, the proceeds are fluttered for a moment in the face ofthe last survivor, who is probably deaf, so that he cannot even hear ofhis success—and who is certainly dying, so that he might just as wellhave lost. The peculiar poetry and even humour of the scheme is nowapparent, since it is one by which nobody concerned can possibly profit;but its fine, sportsmanlike character endeared it to our grandparents.
When Joseph Finsbury and his brother Masterman were little ladsin white-frilled trousers, their father—a well-to-do merchantin Cheapside—caused them to join a small but rich tontine ofseven-and-thirty lives. A thousand pounds was the entrance fee; andJoseph Finsbury can remember to this day the visit to the lawyer's,where the members of the tontine—all children like himself—wereassembled together, and sat in turn in the big office chair, and signedtheir names with the assistance of a kind old gentleman in spectaclesand Wellington boots. He remembers playing with the children afterwardson the lawn at the back of the lawyer's house, and a battle-royal thathe had with a brother tontiner who had kicked his shins. The sound ofwar called forth the lawyer from where he was dispensing cake andwine to the assembled parents in the office, and the combatants wereseparated, and Joseph's spirit (for he was the smaller of the two)commended by the gentleman in the Wellington boots, who vowed he hadbeen just such another at the same age. Joseph wondered to himself ifhe had worn at that time little Wellingtons and a little bald head,and when, in bed at night, he grew tired of telling himself storiesof sea-fights, he used to dress himself up as the old gentleman, andentertain other little boys and girls with cake and wine.
In the year 1840 the thirty-seven were all alive; in 1850 their numberhad decreased by six; in 1856 and 1857 business was more lively, for theCrimea and the Mutiny carried off no less than nine. There remainedin 1870 but five of the original members, and at the date of my story,including the two Finsburys, but three.
By this time Masterman was in his seventy-third year; he had longcomplained of the effects of age, had long since retired from business,and now lived in absolute seclusion under the roof of his son Michael,the well-known solicitor. Joseph, on the other hand, was still up andabout, and still presented but a semi-venerable figure on the streetsin which he loved to wander. This was the more to be deplored becauseMasterman had led (even to the least particular) a model British life.Industry, regularity, respectability, and a preference for the four percents are understood to be the very foundations of a green old age. Allthese Masterman had eminently displayed, and here he was, ab agendo, atseventy-three; while Joseph, barely two years younger, and in the mostexcellent preservation, had disgraced himself through life by idlenessand eccentricity. Embarked in the leather trade, he had early weariedof business, for which he was supposed to have small parts. A taste forgeneral information, not promptly checked, had soon begun to sap hismanhood. There is no passion more debilitating to the mind, unless,perhaps, it be that itch of public speaking which it not infrequentlyaccompanies or begets. The two were conjoined in the case of Joseph; theacute stage of this double malady, that in which the patient deliversgratuitous lectures, soon declared itself with severity, and not manyyears had passed over his head before he would have travelled thirtymiles to address an infant school. He was no student; his reading wasconfined to elementary textbooks and the daily papers; he did not evenfly as high as cyclopedias; life, he would say, was his volume. Hislectures were not meant, he would declare, for college professors; theywere addressed direct to 'the great heart of the people', and theheart of the people must certainly be sounder than its head, for hislucubrations were received with favour. That entitled 'How to LiveCheerfully on Forty Pounds a Year', created a sensation among theunemployed. 'Education: Its Aims, Objects, Purposes, and Desirability',gained him the respect of the shallow-minded. As for his celebratedessay on 'Life Insurance Regarded in its Relation to the Masses', readbefore the Working Men's Mutual Improvement Society, Isle of Dogs, itwas received with a 'literal ovation' by an unintelligent audience ofboth sexes, and so marked was the effect that he was next year electedhonorary president of the institution, an office of less thanno emolument—since the holder was expected to come down with adonation—but one which highly satisfied his self-esteem.
While Joseph was thus building himself up a reputation among the morecultivated portion of the ignorant, his domestic life was suddenlyoverwhelmed by orphans. The death of his younger brother Jacob saddledhim with the charge of two boys, Morris and John; and in the course ofthe same year his family was still further swelled by the addition of alittle girl, the daughter of John Henry Hazeltine, Esq., a gentlemanof small property and fewer friends. He had met Joseph only once, at alecture-hall in Holloway; but from that formative experience he returnedhome to make a new will, and consign his daughter and her fortune to thelecturer. Joseph had a kindly disposition; and yet it was not withoutreluctance that he accepted this new responsibility, advertised for anurse, and purchased a second-hand perambulator. Morris and John he mademore readily welcome; not so much because of the tie of consanguinityas because the leather business (in which he hastened to invest theirfortune of thirty thousand pounds) had recently exhibited inexplicablesymptoms of decline. A young but capable Scot was chosen as manager tothe enterprise, and the cares of business never again afflicted JosephFinsbury. Leaving his charges in the hands of the capable Scot (who wasmarried), he began his extensive travels on the Continent and in AsiaMinor.
With a polyglot Testament in one hand and a phrase-book in the other,he groped his way among the speakers of eleven European languages.The first of these guides is hardly applicable to the purposes of thephilosophic traveller, and even the second is designed more expresslyfor the tourist than for the expert in life. But he pressed interpretersinto his service—whenever he could get their services for nothing—andby one means and another filled many notebooks with the results of hisresearches.
In these wanderings he spent several years, and only returned to Englandwhen the increasing age of his charges needed his attention. The twolads had been placed in a good but economical school, where they hadreceived a sound commercial education; which was somewhat awkward, asthe leather business was by no means in a state to court enquiry. Infact, when Joseph went over his accounts preparatory to surrendering histrust, he was dismayed to discover that his brother's fortune had notincreased by his stewardship; even by maki