Alice in Genderland

Richard J. Novic M.D.

Description

This first-ever memoir of a contemporary crossdresser tells the story of Dr. Richard Novic: psychiatrist, husband, father--and girlfriend.

Alice in Genderland is the first ever memoir by a crossdresser who is not content to live behind closed doors—and who takes it much further than his straighter, more circumspect peers might ever care to go. Most of the time, Harvard-educated psychiatrist Richard Novic is Rick, a caring doctor at the office and a loving husband and father at home. But one night a week, he is Alice, a brave trans woman about town, shopping, dining, dancing, and more.

In contrast to the life he leads today, Rick Novic suffered since his sporty, nerdy boyhood with a secret, a desire he was in no way equipped to handle, but one that eventually burst through his denial, a few months before his wedding day. Just once, he felt, while he still could, he had to know how it felt to be a woman.

Like Alice in Wonderland, his curiosity led him to fall headlong down a rabbit hole, through desperate straits, mind-opening surprises, heart-rending changes, gritty sex, and boundless love. By the time he was back on his feet, he was a different person, living a lifestyle he hadn’t known existed. Anyone who has struggled to figure out who they are and how they want to live will surely appreciate this informative and engaging life story.

Praise for Alice in Genderland

“Few know the transgender scene like GIRL TALK magazine’s Alice Novic. This exciting new memoir by her male alter ego takes us along with him and the people he loves, as he encounters and explores each twist and turn around him and within him. As much Lewis and Clark as it is Lewis Carroll, Alice in Genderland blazes a new trail in the world of crossdressing.”

—Linda Jensen, contributing writer, Transgender Forum

“Alice bravely explores the limits of gender, sexuality, and relationships—a sexy, poignant, and often hilarious memoir of transgenderism.”

—Vernon A. Rosario, M.D., author of The Erotic Imagination, clinical faculty, UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute

“More provocative than soothing, Alice in Genderland is fascinating and well worth reading.”

—Vern L. Bullough, Ph.D., author of Crossdressing, Sex, and Gender, past president of the Society of the Scientific Study of Sex

Sujets

• Vie de famille
• Parentalité et Éducation des Enfants
• Biography
• Autobiography

Informations

• Publié par: iUniverse
• Date de parution: 01 avril 2005
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780595763764
• Langue: English

Extrait

Alice in Genderland
A Crossdresser Comes of Age
 
 
Richard J. Novic M.D.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Alice in Genderland
A Crossdresser Comes of Age
 
Copyright 2005 Richard John Novic, M.D.
[e-mail]
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
 
iUniverse
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Bloomington, IN 47403
www.iuniverse.com
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
ISBN: 978-0-5953-1562-8 (sc)
ISBN: 978-0-5957-6376-4 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2004106479
 
Transvestism—United States—Biography
Transvestism—United States—Psychology
Transgender—United States—Biography
Transgender—United States—Psychology
HQ 77 306.77
 
 
 
iUniverse rev. date: 06/15/2023
 
 
 
 
 
 
To my beloved wife,
without whose help this life and this book
would not have been possible.
Contents
Introduction
I     Now and Then
2     Choosing a Path
3     Crisis
4     Aftermath
5     Three-Ring Circus
6     A New Woman
7     Young Again
8     Arts and Crafts
9     Into the Night
10   A Fresh Perspective
11   Single Trans Female
12   A Full Life
Appendices
Acknowledgments
Glossary
Endnotes
Introduction
I was surprised when I discovered back in the early 2000s that no one had ever told the life story of a crossdresser who had set foot out his front door. 1 Although there had been many transsexual memoirs and drag queen diaries, no one had ever dared to publish the story of a “heterosexual crossdresser” who had gone out into the world and made a little life for himself as a woman to enjoy alongside the life he led as a man.
Although I had begun an advice column for GIRL TALK magazine, I still thought of myself as much more of a psychiatrist than a writer—hardly the person to fill that kind of gap in the transgender record. Yet the letters that came in from my readers kept reminding me of that critical time in my life when I had first learned I was not alone. Desperate and confused then, every encouraging word and whispered confidence from a more experienced crossdresser had meant the world to me, and every printed page on the subject had been worth its weight in gold.
Now inspired—even if not naturally able—I was thrilled when some time opened up in my schedule and I had the opportunity to take on such a large writing project. Once underway, I began to believe even more in my mission as a crossdresser speaking to other crossdressers. As one of our own who had worked out a very satisfying and balanced life, I aimed to give others hope. As a psychiatrist who had found positive new ways to look at the challenges we all face, I hoped to give others pride.
As I toiled to get the details of my life down on paper in some sort of organized, engaging form, I enlisted the help of a woman friend who edits books for a living. Instead of simply providing technical feedback, she surprised me. “Anyone,” she said, “who has struggled to figure out who they are and how they want to live will feel your pain and share your joy.” With that, I dug deeper and aimed wider in the hope of reaching other like-minded souls.
Some of you may wonder, What exactly is a crossdresser? Mainstreamers often define crossdresser as anyone who dresses in the clothes of the opposite sex for any purpose and fetishistic crossdresser as any man who is aroused by wearing women’s clothes. But we “fetishistic crossdressers” barely recognize that term and refer to ourselves simply as “crossdressers.” How many of us are there? According to one survey, 3% of male college students are aroused by wearing women’s clothes, and I’d assume the same to be true of the educated male population, because such an urge rarely if ever goes away and rarely if ever begins in adulthood. 2 , 3
Crossdressers, together with male-to-female (MTF) transsexuals and drag queens, make up the MTF transgender community. There is also a small but vital female-to-male (FTM) community, which consists almost entirely of transsexuals. Yet because mine is an MTF story, I will use the term transgender to refer to the MTF side of the greater community, unless otherwise specified. Contrary to popular belief, we transgendered people are not all automatically gay. Some of us are attracted to men, and others to women or both or even each other. As it happens, most crossdressers prefer women. Who’d have thunk?
Please note that I refer to people in this book as he or she according to common courtesy and the conventions of the transgender community. Most trans people, when dressed as women, prefer she and, when dressed as men, prefer he . So if you’re introduced to an elegant crossdresser at your next cocktail party, you’ll score more points if you follow her cues and address her as ma’am rather than think yourself clever and opt for sir .
But alas, we crossdressers are usually married men with secret lives, so we rarely have the chance to mix with people and tell our stories, let alone publish them. So you’re not likely to meet many of us on the social circuit, and the only depictions you’re liable to see are those written by outsiders. All too often, these are riddled with misunderstandings and make us look either screwed-up or silly. We are neither. Fortunately I am able to tell my tale, because of the love and support of my closest friends and family.
Although I wasn’t fully aware of my womanly desires until my twenties, in retrospect I can trace them back as far as I can remember. Although no one knows for sure what causes crossdressing, many experts suspect that hormonal surges alter the development of the fetal brain and cause behavioral changes that show up later on in childhood. 4 Additionally, recent research suggests that all mental processes from depression to love are coded somewhere in the central nervous system. So I have to imagine that, as a crossdresser, I have a brain that’s part female in a way that’s not yet discovered, and I suspect that the same is true, only more so, for transsexuals.
In fact, there has already been some evidence in this direction. Studies by the Netherlands Institute for Brain Research show the hypothalamus of MTF transsexuals to be much more woman-like than man-like in an area known as the bed striate nucleus. 5 Perhaps this will turn out to be a biological marker of transgenderism. Perhaps not. 6 But if and when such a marker is found, transgenderism will be reclassified from the psychological into the neurological and thereby take its place among the intersex conditions. (For more, see Appendix A.)
But regardless of the cause or classification of transgenderism, the more pressing question for each person or family affected is what to do about it. As I see it, I was allotted a number of cards in life: dark hair, fine, whatever; white skin, sure can’t hurt; nimble mind, great, the hopes and dreams of a girl, what the hell? Imagine being dealt something like that. Such was my predicament. How was I to play my hand with any chance of happiness or success? How was I to live with this thing I didn’t choose, this trait I couldn’t get rid of without amputating a part of who I was and what I might enjoy?
As a parent, how would you know if your son might turn out to be a crossdresser or transsexual? There’s really no easy way to tell. Studies reviewed by historian Vern Bullough show that, if your young son likes to put on girls’ clothes and prefers girlish activities, then there’s a 6% chance he’ll turn out to be a transsexual and a 2.5% chance he’ll be a crossdresser, but a surprising 55% chance he’ll be a noncrossdressing gay man and a 21% chance he’ll be a noncrossdressing straight man. 7 (15.5% were classified as uncertain.) Please note, however, that these studies were conducted in the English-speaking world and that the path taken by effeminate boys in traditional Latin and other cultures may be markedly different.
Then again, if your son shows no interest in girlish things, you still may not be out of the woods. A small percentage of ostensibly regular boys turn out to be transgendered. That’s because most crossdressers and many transsexuals are able to suppress their femininity until much later in life. I was one of those boys. So, too, might be your son—or brother, husband or father.
With that in mind, I would like to introduce you to a kind of person you might never meet but may already know. I was perhaps as stunned as any of you might be to have to deal with something like this. How could a traditional man, like me, face the fact he wanted nothing more than to indulge in the pleasures of womanhood? All the pleasures of womanhood. What a humiliating fate. It tore me up like nothing before and nothing since. I’ve had to grow in astonishing ways to turn this indelible curse into an invaluable blessing to go from my worst nightmare to my wildest dreams. Although my lifestyle is no doubt controversial, I fe