Am I A Good Girl Yet?

Carolyn Bramhall

Description

Carolyn Bramhall grew up in what seemed to outsiders to be a normal home, with hard-working parents, surrounded by apparently caring relatives. She graduated from Bible college, married, found a job as a youth worker. Then nightmares and panic attacks started to swamp her. She, her husband and two small children moved to work in America, but the internal stresses grew worse - and a host of other personalities started to make their presence felt. In due course 109 separate entities, each created to carry some aspect of truly ghastly past pain, would identify themselves. What could she do?

Sujets

• Child abuse

Informations

• Publié par: Lion Hudson
• Date de parution: 18 octobre 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780857213839
• Langue: English

Extrait

Copyright © 2005 by Carolyn Bramhall This edition copyright © 2005 Lion Hudson
The right of Carolyn Bramhall to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published by Monarch Books an imprint of Lion Hudson plc Wilkinson House, Jordan Hill Road, Oxford OX2 8DR, England Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone] Email: [e-mail] www.lionhudson.com/monarch
ISBN: 978-1-85424-724-7 (UK) ISBN: 978-0-8254-6100-2 (USA) e-ISBN 978-0-85721-383-9
First edition 2005
Unless otherwise stated, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Hodder and Stoughton Ltd. All rights reserved.
British Library Cataloguing Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Cover image: Lion Hudson
“A valuable and deeply satisfying book. Knowing Carolyn as I do, I realise just how miraculous her story really is. This book MATTERS!” – Jennifer Rees Larcombe
 
“The horror and fascination of a Susan Howatch novel, written with the poetic beauty and almost total sensory recall of Cider with Rosie – and Carolyn’s own inimitable sense of humour. An amazing, gripping, painful horror story filled with love and hope, and ending in uplifting triumph.” – Donna Fletcher Crow, author, Glastonbury, The Novel of Christian England
 
“A well-written story of an apparently idyllic childhood, followed by a startling discovery, disorder, chaos, illness, help, prayer, friendship, healing and Life with a capital L.” – Gerald Coates
 
“A remarkable testimony to the healing power of God. As Caroline struggles to come to terms with the fragmentation of her mind, her therapist and other godly people pray for her, and ‘walk’ with her through her dark days. With their encouragement and help she learns to let go of coping skills that helped her to survive and, in doing so, she becomes the complete person that God intended her to be. Praise God!” – Linda Caine, author, Out of the Dark
 
“It is a brave undertaking to write a book like this, and I am so glad that Carolyn has found the courage to do it. I was moved by the narrative from beginning to end, and I have no doubt that its honesty will open windows for so many people. I believe, most of all, that it will bring hope and help others towards real healing.” – Dr Elaine Storkey, Senior Research Fellow, Wycliffe Hall, Oxford
 
Today Carolyn Bramhall works with Freedom in Christ Ministries, based in Reading, England, and is a speaker and counsellor.
This book is dedicated to John , my husband and best friend, and to my two amazing children, Amy and Luke . I am so proud of you, the three most precious people in my life.
 
 
 
As you live this new life, we pray that you will be strengthened from God’s boundless resources, so that you will find yourselves able to pass through any experience and endure it with joy. You will even be able to thank God in the midst of pain and distress because you are privileged to share the lot of those who are living in the light. For we must never forget that he rescued us from the power of darkness, and re-established us in the kingdom of his beloved Son. For it is by his Son alone that we have been redeemed and have had our sins forgiven.
 
Colossians 1:11–14 (Phillips Translation)
Acknowledgments
It has been a great privilege to have been loved and supported by many remarkably faithful and loving individuals who demonstrate that the church of Jesus Christ is alive and working out the kingdom of God. My heartfelt thanks go to so many wonderful people that I am not going to attempt to mention individuals here. Many names are in the book, others are not. They know, I know and God knows who they are. My prayer is that our God of freedom and good surprises may abundantly bless them.
Some names and places have been changed to protect identities, but everything written here is as true as I am able to recollect or piece together. In order to record my story as accurately as possible I have delved into reams of therapy notes, journals, photographs, alters’ artwork, interviews with friends and the numerous letters that crossed the Atlantic while we were apart as a family. Much of the material about the therapy sessions comes from the video and audio records we kept about that time, so the conversations recounted here are largely direct transcripts.
I am particularly grateful to the Lord for the Freedom in Christ material and the team who have, and continue to, faithfully teach those vital truths. God’s word is releasing, His grace unchanging and His love healing. Ultimately all the glory must go to Him.
Table of Contents
Cover Title Page Copyright Dedication Acknowledgments Foreword Exposure Introduction Part 1      Chapter 1: Secrets      Chapter 2: A Child      Chapter 3: A Change      Chapter 4: A Challenge      Chapter 5: A Choice Part 2      Chapter 6: Disturbance      Chapter 7: Decline      Chapter 8: Departure      Chapter 9: Distressed      Chapter 10: Developments      Chapter 11: Depravity      Chapter 12: Disorder      Chapter 13: Direction      Chapter 14: Decision Part 3      Chapter 15: Reunion      Chapter 16: Renewal      Chapter 17: Resistance      Chapter 18: Rejoicing Proclamation Afterword Appendix A Appendix B Further Help Picture Section
Foreword
I have had the great privilege of helping people all over the world resolve their personal and spiritual conflicts and find their freedom in Christ. I have seen God set captives free and bind up the broken hearts of those who have been abused. I have never been more convinced in my life that Jesus is the answer, and the truth of God’s word will set us free to be all that God called us to be.
I have seen God’s children overcome depression, anxiety disorders, sexual and chemical addiction, and abuse of all kinds, but the most difficult cases have been those who have been subjected to satanic ritual abuse.
Many of those who have been subjected to such atrocities have to resort to dividing up their mind and compartmentalizing their pain in order to live with the painful truth of their abuse. That ability is called “Dissociation”; it is a God-given ability and is a severe defence mechanism. In the presence of abuse, the person dissociates, which allows them to develop somewhat normally with no memory of the incident. However, another portion of themselves was present and has memories of the atrocities.
If you have never seen a person switch from one personality to another, it is hard to believe that such a phenomenon could even happen. Some personalities can be quite similar and often go undetected when an alternate personality comes out, but others are radically different. Multiple Personality Disorder was the common designation, but presently and professionally the condition is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
I conducted a conference in Texas and returned to the same area a year later. A professional counsellor was using our discipleship counselling approach for her clients, but had come across one who seemed to resist her efforts. She asked if I would meet together with her and her client, which I did. Five minutes into our session, the client arose angrily from her chair and said, “I am sick and tired of you trying to get rid of me.” The counsellor said, “See, there it is,” believing it was a demon. I said, “That is not a demon, that is another personality.”
The common error of the church is to try getting rid of personalities thinking they are demons, and many professional counsellors who lack theological training try to integrate demons into the personality of their clients, thinking they are alternate personalities. To complicate matters, the victims often don’t know one from the other, since both sound like “voices” in their head. Such clients pose a real challenge, since resolution requires spiritual discernment, a working knowledge of Scripture and an understanding of dissociation.
The “religious” nature of the problem leaves secular psychologists stumped. They sometimes express that the church should probably be involved, but they don’t believe in the church, and know nothing of the healing power we have in Christ. Consequently, they seldom if ever see the total integration that comes when God is the Wonderful Counsellor. Here we have the story of someone who has come to know complete wholeness because people were both open to the truth of the word of God and listened to and believed Carolyn’s story. Therefore she was led into an understanding of who she was as a divided personality, and who she now is in Christ. That latter truth brought her complete freedom.
At first I thought DID was extremely rare, but as I started travelling the country in the early eighties I was encountering many pastors and counsellors who were struggling to help these dear people. Those who make it have learned who they are in Christ, and have assumed their own responsibility for wholeness. Through genuine repentance and faith in God they learn to stand complete in Christ, and clearly recognize that Jesus has set them free and bound up their broken heart.
This story illustrates the fact that when the truth is allowed to penetrate every part of a personality in spite of extreme inner pain and fragmentation, and God is allowed to work his work of grace, healing and wholeness will result. Carolyn is now a powerful instrument in the hands of God to help others walk through the journey of recovery in Christ, because she knows first hand that the truth really does set people free from the bondage of s