Running Like Crazy

Justin Davis

Description

The true story of a young All-American athlete after he was stricken with OCD and struggled to navigate his way through a life he never expected.
I was disappointed when I finished the book.
Yes, it was that good!
–Marie Jackson
Masters in Education
I read the entire book in two days.
It was one of those books you don’t want to put down.
–Diane Jacobs
Masters in Education
This is the true life story of a young man stricken with extreme mental illness. At the age of twenty and in the blink of an eye he was possessed.
The year was 1980 and mental illness was not viewed with the compassion, nor the respect that it is today. In fact it was taboo, mortifying and never a thing you’d share even with the best of friends.
An all American runner and eventual MMA athlete, two time college graduate and yet paralyzed with fear day in and day out. This is the inside story that pulls no punches of the brutality and the consequences of living with this wicked affliction.

Sujets

• Personal Memoirs
• Mental Illness
• Adventure (Guyana)
• Espiritual
• Biography
• Spiritual
• Self-help
• Depression
• Running
• Psychology
• Mental disorder
• Anxiety
• Adventure
• Survival
• Autobiography

Informations

• Publié par: iUniverse
• Date de parution: 04 mars 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781663236357
• Langue: English

Extrait

Running like Crazy
JUSTIN DAVIS


RUNNING LIKE CRAZY
 
 
Copyright © 2022 Justin Davis.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
 
 
iUniverse
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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Biblica
 
ISBN: 978-1-6632-3634-0 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6632-3635-7 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022903488
 
 
 
iUniverse rev. date: 04/05/2022
Contents
Note to Readers
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 60
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Note to Readers
I need to tell you all in advance that this book was written entirely by me. It reflects how “I” saw things and how “I” recalled events in my life. I have a less than perfect memory and if I offend family members or others, well I could be wrong, I’m sorry. I love my mother, sister, brother and father. My mental illness “hit” me at the age of 20 in the year of 1980. It must be noted that mental illness was considered “much” more taboo and much less to be respected back then. The vast majority of people did not even know what O.C.D. was, including me. I was born in 1960 and my folks in 1930. We were caught off guard to put it mildly. Their reactions as well as mine was a kind of terror. Afterall, can you imagine losing control of your mind in a split second? Or having it happen to a son or a daughter? Everyone made mistakes however we have moved on still loving one another ____ “ And let he who is without sin cast the first stone” Jesus
Chapter 1
This is the story of a man’s life. An outstanding athlete’s life. The brutal life of a man stricken with a severe mental illness. A story of an ongoing fight for survival. My name is Justin. I am 60 years old. I am a father, an athlete, a distance runner and an MMA, (Mixed Martial Arts) athlete. I am also on disability due to being mentally ill. I am deemed incapable of working despite two four year college degrees. This is a story that at times seems unbelievable. But it is an accurate, honest account of my life thus far. I believe it will touch everyone who reads it.
Why would one choose to be put in solitary confinement? Solitary confinement is known to be one of the most brutal punishments a prisoner may have to endure. Being alone with just your own thoughts. No one to speak to, no one to see, touch or interact with. You are utterly isolated with four walls to stare at.No sunshine, fresh air, blue skies, or breeze.
The severely mentally ill will actually choose to live much of their life in isolation. To be alone, locked in a house, apartment, or more often than not, a rented room. What is infuriating to our population is the lack of understanding we must endure from others. This lack of understanding can escalate. Even to the extent of verbal and physical abuse. Yes, I know we may look disheveled but for the most part we look as normal as the next person. But as we act differently, strange, bizarre even others treat us accordingly and yes we suffer at their hands even more than our minds already are. Consequently we feel so alone, misunderstood and frustrated.
As well, when people realize you have a mental illness they avoid you, disrespect you, shun you and even worse, fear you. After all, isn’t it all those mentally ill people who commit brutal crimes- twisted crimes like shooting into crowds of people? On the other hand, people may say to themselves, “Hell, I deal with stress all the time and occasionally even get thoroughly depressed. I push on, so why can’t they? Isn’t it mind over matter? Some good old fashioned self-discipline? I think they are weak!”
Personally I can be among many people yet feel so utterly alone. I was not embraced by the general population or at least this is what I “felt.” When you meet someone the first question typically out of everyone’s mouth is…What do you do for a living? Or just, “What do you do?” It’s an invasive question and a bit rude if you ask me. After all, we know lots of them are simply asking you how much money you make, indirectly so they think? “Well, yeah, let’s see. My name is Justin Davis. I am 61 years old, upper middle age I hope. I am unemployed and gainfully on disability due to having an extreme mental illness. Oh, I substitute teach some but not too much. Can’t lose my disability! Teach some Karate lessons, train dogs and write too, but yeah, not gainfully employed. No, not by a long shot. So how would you like to hang out, be my friend or perhaps go on a date? ______ Silence.
Oh, don’t worry. We learn to act, bullshit and not come forward as in this example, but the truth always surfaces. Sooner or later they find out.
I was born into an upper middle class family. Highly educated all of us. My father was a sales engineer and my mother, a Registered Nurse. My father was driven, extremely hard working. Yes, I would say productive obsessive compulsive disorder but, oh, he certainly had it and he certainly suffered more than anyone will know.
I remember running errands with him that could have been fun, but he took so darn long to do everything. To say he was detail-oriented would be a gross understatement. My mother was wound less tightly. She laughed easily and, hmmm, I guess they were just very different. Both could certainly be intense at times. However, my mom was more open, easy-going early on in my life, way less-detailed. However, you sure did not want to be on her shit list! And she always had a shit list.
Both mom and dad would never miss a sporting event of mine and the vacations we took on the Minnesota lakes were fantastic. I loved the wildness of it all. The forest, full of pine trees, white birch, lakes, swamps and all the wild animals and my father? He took a big interest in my athletics and worked with me on my skills at home and at the lake. This was exciting for us both as I was beyond a natural athlete. My early childhood was for the most part good.
When I think back or forward it can be fascinating. However, I know I must live in the present moment for my mental health and to preserve my sanity. However, I am telling my story so back in time I travel, thankful for an excellent memory, in fact, photographic at times, but not perfect. At least I am thankful as I write this book as an excellent memory can be a curse...if you dwell there.
Chapter 2
I was walking up the sidewalk that led to the college library. The year was 1981 and I was twenty one years old. It was fall and the air was brisk, trees full of color as the leaves began to drop. My books were tucked under my arm like a football. I passed other students but hardly noticed as I was inside my head tangled up in all kinds of thoughts that mostly revolved around one person.
I was aware of the season, but people? Well again there was only one person I was fixated on and she had just left on a plane for South America. Her name was Sarah. Both of us were twenty one and I had just a few weeks ago asked her to marry me. She said “Yes” but her plans to study in South America were long since set and Oh my gosh, hell, I begged her not to go, “Please Sarah don’t leave me, we’re getting married and we just got engaged, please don’t go.” She told me, “Justin, these are my studies and if I don’t go I would always feel I missed a great opportunity. I would always hold it against you.” I crumbled, I gave in and she was there and I was here facing another cold winter in Aurora, Illinois.
I entered the library, well lit, quiet and pretty much empty other than a girl behind the front desk. I sat down on the wooden chair, propped up my textbook on the wooden table and began to read and then I was hit. “W