Who?

Charles Edward Gerson

Description

WHO? is a very true accounting of my life, with all of it's ups and downs.
The difference in my ups and downs, and the normal persons ups and downs are that mine are extreme, rare, funny, up-setting, emotional, and gross all mixed together, on a regular basis. Not to mention that i am A. D. D. (Attention Deficit Disorder) and have written a book. Go figure!
Some of the critiques on my book read, "This book made me laugh so hard that i wet my pants", and "I cried a lot, and felt so sad for you".
This book starts when my mom and dad met in a Chinese restaurant, and ends when i am so old that i can't remember when my mom and dad met!
WHO? spans many years, and includes my gain of moderate wealth too being a pauper, and many unique adventures that you may have lived, only in your mind.
Try it! Buy it! You'll like it!

Sujets

• Biography
• Edward
• Autobiography
• Gerson
• Charles

Informations

• Publié par: Xlibris US
• Date de parution: 07 décembre 2011
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781465310651
• Langue: English

Extrait

Charles Edward Gerson
WHO
?
An unusually comical tragedy.
An autobiography
 
Copyright © 2011 by Charles Edward Gerson.
ISBN:
Softcover
978-1-4653-1064-4

eBook
978-1-4653-1065-1
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
 
Rev. date: 07/14/2022
 
 
 
 
 
Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
594003
CONTENTS
Preface
 
Introduction
 
Chapter One
My parents get married and then the second coming of Christ, me.
 
Chapter Two
My younger years and family in Philadelphia.
 
Chapter Three
Heading for California, Indians & wipers.
 
Chapter Four
Los Angeles, Pomona, Walnut trees & teen learning.
 
Chapter Five
High school sports, L. A. County Fair, & Mexicans.
 
Chapter Six
New friends, youthful talents, Hesperia, & jr. high graduation.
 
Chapter Seven
School classes, gangs, the Golden Arches, & my broken cherry.
 
Chapter Eigth
Driver license, first car, Tuck and Roll, & a two dollar trick.
 
Chapter Nine
Skinny dipping, back stabben, snow hooden, gangs, jail, and fuzzy moles.
 
Chapter Ten
The whore mobile, Bar-B-Q’s, fire & graveyards.
 
Chapter Eleven
Beatings, painting, Snipes, and Munger, Bill the killer, me the hooker,
 
Chapter Twelve
Four cherries, the Arizona flash & marriage.
 
Chapter Thirteen
College, Heather, Holly, Cherokee, Mad Dog, the infamous hand squeeze, Max & a trampoline.
 
Chapter Fourteen
Shoot the bro, film dad’s ass, the scouts, one arm man, an operation, areola & phlegm.
 
Chapter Fifteen
Twenty-one, age or cards, you’re what, Peter, Paul and Mary, the Beatles, puke & a new job.
 
Chapter Sixteen
Manicures, toe jobs, wigs and crawdads, poor Joe is dead, das boat, da moon & Elvis.
 
Chapter Seventeen
Pee in a boot, stuck in a toilet, Water Beds, Cochise, XKE, Super Bowl & a horse.
 
Chapter Eighteen
Linen, tee shirts, El Paso, green box, lymph nodes, Helmsly, The Osmands, & N.Y. Parking.
 
Chapter Nineteen
Nineteen eighty-one, Aaron’s flowers, bookie Cal, Caliente & horse stories.
 
Chapter Twenty
The factory, the butts, Heather sprints, Mom drives & Barstow is a bitch.
 
Chapter Twenty-One
The dog, the kid, the flying Heather, the salesman, the jerk, the dope & the divorce.
 
Chapter Twenty-Two
The alcoholic bar tender, the good son bad son, she’s split, pissin partners, the wedding & the garage goose.
 
Chapter Twenty-Three
Moving north, tee shirts and mosquitoes, bench warmer, earthquakes, ADAPT, Yosemite, karaoke & rogue waves.
 
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lost me, Tahoe, lesbians, slots, E.T. Gasping for breath & I feel better now.
 
Chapter Twenty-Five
Docent, power, earthquake, jail, horses, Colorado River, & one arm.
 
Chapter Twenty-Six
She’s baaaaack, fortune tellers, Pocketfullofpesos, & the company is gone.
 
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Dogs, alligators, Martha, marriage, & Elvis.
 
Yiddish Glossary
Yiddish translation to English with a little humor to Follow.
 
Poem used with permission of Dorothea Grossman, author. Copyright, nineteen ninety-five.
CONTENTS
 
Written by: Charles Edward Gerson
 
Directed by: Charles Edward Gerson
 
Produced by: Charles Edward Gerson
 
And staring: Charles Edward Gerson
 
Please note; any mistakes you might find throughout this entire book are my brother, Mark’s, fault!
Mom always liked me better, anyway!
 
This has been edited by so many friends, that if I listed them all, I would need to add another twenty-five pages, and we know that we don’t need that. However, there are one or two whom I really need to acknowledge and thank for their unselfish free time that they have donated to me.
Wally Sherman.
Joey Palmieri
(Both female)
Preface
I am far from either Stephen Hawking, who is probably the smartest person in the world right now or an Albert Einstein, with whom you may be more familiar. In fact, I am A D D in spelling, grammar and comprehension. Now, I am writing a book. Go figure! I asked an acquaintance of mine, an English teacher, to explain to me what a preface is. I had seen it in the five books that I have read since I was a pup, and she said this. She, being Wally (see, it already starts kind of weird and not to mention Joey, who also helped me, also of the same gender), said, “It usually gives a reason why you are writing the book.”
My reason is to leave my unseen grandchildren and great grandchildren with names unknown, and faces un-seen, who I really am. I would think that the truth may be contrary to what they might have been told about me, but I need to set the record straight. Also, to let the world know (if I have this book published for human consumption) that there are stranger, more unusual, crazy, smarter, and much dumber people on our blue globe than they might think there are. Starting with me! Wally also said, “You might want to dedicate your book to someone.”
So, I will dedicate it to my oldest friend who plays a large part in my writings. He recently took his own life. (Nancy, please contact me.) Raymond Eugene Hawkins. At the risk of seeming selfish, I want to share this dedication with my old friend. Although I have not taken my own life, obviously, (although it has crossed my mind a time or two.) but having gone through the crap from my children, the crap that I am still going through with the IRS, and a plethora of other things about which you will read as you dive into the works of a self-proclaimed author. I want to dedicate it to myself, as well. Let’s make it a three-some and include my dad. (May he rest in peace.) He plays a major role in my life.
One more thing that Wally (the female) mentioned was that I could give a thank you to anyone who may have helped me write this five hundred plus page autobiography. There are a few minor awards such as my friend Joey, my cousin, Sandy, and my brother, Mark. I guess if I could mention the helpful ones I would think that I can mention the ones who could have really helped out but declined. That would have been my ex-wife, Heather. She has a memory that would put an elephant to shame. She could remember shit that I did years prior to when I did them and still have me on the carpet about them fifteen years later. She could remember what colors I wore to a dance and what I paid for the tickets, twenty years hence. I asked her to meet me in Las Vegas. It is about the same distance for both of us and kind of equal grounds. Not to mention, it would be nice to, maybe break bread, and catch up a bit. (I got her e-mail address from my cousin, Sandy.) All expenses paid by me. I had intended to ask her if she would collaborate with me on some things that she would remember much better than I. Things the children did and when they did them. Maybe dates and times we did things with friends and neighbors as they would come up in my writings. Stuff like that. She really has a photographic memory. However, she had no problem saying, “No.” The reason I have added Heather and her answer at this time is to ask you, the readers, forgiveness to some of the times, dates and even some of the people mentioned. Although, all is true in this book, they may be off as much as three or four years, one way or another.
The one major thing that you need to know is that no matter how weird, unsettling, strange, off the wall, aggressive, non-flattering, stupid, offensive or extremely smart (not many of those, however), everything in this book, if not one hundred percent true, is based on one hundred percent truth. If I have offended anyone, I sincerely apologize. But that may have been the way the story needed to be told. There has been some exaggeration and humor added to make this book fun reading. Hell, I even laugh sometimes myself.
One other thing that you will notice is that I use a capital “L” with any form of the use of the word “Love”. I really feel that if you use that word it should be strongly emphasized.
In retrospect, Gene, you and my father were my rock. My dad was always my ace in the hole. I wish you, Gene, Mom and Dad were still around to read this book. I would even give you three a copy, at no charge. (Maybe!)
 
Now, it’s all about me.
INTRODUCTION
I am not sure why anyone would buy a book about someone they don’t know, especially a nobody like me. I am neither a millionaire nor a movie star, a prophet, a poet, a politician (YUCK), or any kind of a celebrity or nationally known figure. Just a plain ole guy who has put in his 60 plus years on this planet, like so many of us, and basically has nothing to show for it! But I do appreciate the purchase as I really do need the money.
In 2005 I was told to retire by the cardiologist because my ticker wasn’t ticking so well any more. I had no plans to do so, and I didn’t have much money put away. The doc said, “The multitude of problems in business and a few other very personal family issues are causing you way too m