Greenstreet and Back

Francis Abel

Description

Greenstreet and Back is an amazing, humorous autobiography that follows a journey from, a near death experience, to an incredible passage of self acceptance and realisation. The true story of painful rehabilitation dips into the black humour of facing your own mortality and the acceptance that the life once known was now a thing of the past. The book is a chronicle of courage and fortitude that shows with determination any obstacle can be overcome. Francis begins a pilgrimage to learn about his new life that eventually takes him to the other side of the world to exotic South East Asia. His hilarious encounters along the way happen mostly by chance and very unexpectedly. From a near molestation by a dancing Ladyboy in Northern Thailand to a "run in" with gun tooting bandits in Cambodia, the quest gets ever more bizarre and farcical. Eventually Francis experiences an epiphany but fate has one more harsh and cruel card to play towards the end of his odyssey.

Sujets

• Humour

Informations

• Publié par: Andrews UK
• Date de parution: 20 février 2017
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781782343516
• Langue: English

Extrait

Title Page
GREENSTREET AND BACK
A Hilarious Adventure in South East Asia
By
Francis Abel



Publisher Information
Published in 2012 by
Andrews UK Limited
www.andrewsuk.com
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
The characters and situations in this book are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happening.
Copyright © 2012 Francis Abel
The right of Francis Abel to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.



Dedication
Dedicated to Sam



Foreword
This book is not intended to be a missive on how to cope and subsequently live and survive after a life threatening illness. It is simply a story of an event that happened in my life and a narrative of the following months and years to date.
Some people who have been unlucky enough to share the same traumatic illness, and there are thousands that have, might find some solace to share my experiences and if my witterings bring some hope to them I am thankful. But the intention of my writing is to describe the incredible journey I have undertaken both in health but also in travel.
The outcome of all this is not a medical journal of dos and don’ts, but more of a story of an adventure as things progressed in my life and subsequent events took their shape, unplanned and definitely off piste, as I wandered about aimlessly in South East Asia. As things tend to happen when no forethought has gone into anything, the results tend to be bizarre and very hilarious.
There are numerous good friends, family members and kind people that have helped me along my long journey, but unfortunately I could not possibly mention all of them in this book. I have not set out to write something purely for the reason of name dropping to make me popular within a select bunch of peers, so if I have omitted your name please forgive me and believe me when I say that I could not have achieved what I did without all your assistance. Albeit, you must have been a boring or inconsequential bastard for me to have left you out of my journal.
As I am finally sitting down putting these initial words to paper, the first thunderstorms of Monsoon Season are drowning out all the other noises outside; but I am glad for the cool air the rain is bringing through my window. After five years I have at last taken my chair at my desk and started to recollect.
In part I have my close friend Richie; for giving me not the inspiration to write, but the incentive to start and complete my memoirs. On my last visit to the UK, Richie and I were dining at The Gate of India restaurant in South Road, Liverpool. I decided to tell him of my plans to write this book to which he responded: “Rubbish, who the Hell wants to read that ?! Do you think you are the only person who has had a stroke?”
I paused for a moment so that I would not pour my glass of Cobra over his head and waste a perfectly good pint. I started to reply to his outburst but thought the better of the idea, not wanting to start an argument. His non-constructive criticism, however, made me start to doubt the validity of spending so much time in front of a laptop when the sun was shining high in the sky.
But as the months passed and I returned to South East Asia, the urge to tell this story became compelling and felt necessary. As I have said it is not meant to represent a missive of how to cope after suffering a stroke - it is more a guide of what you can achieve if you are sheer bloody minded enough.
Over the past five years I have come to realise that the majesty of life is not guaranteed to any person. In fact I have learned how frail the most wonderful of all gifts is and that every day should be blessed. Because of this I have found it true that you must live your life to its full capacity and not to compromise. Most people live their entire lives compromising; whether it is compromising to live with their selected partner, compromising in their jobs or compromising even what to eat. It is living a lie and that lie cannot be undone at your end.
My sudden realisation of this has come about through accident, an accident that has forced me to subsequently look at every day and decide what is best for me. It is a luxury most do not have the opportunity to live; but it is a luxury that has cost me dearly in health, friends, family, job and country to achieve. Gaining true freedom is not an easy thing, as we are conditioned to think, breathe and live in a conformist manner to be accepted into civilised society.
I read somewhere that there is a book hidden inside all of us waiting to be unlocked and to burst forth like a suppressed spring. But I never knew if I would have the time, craft or even the inclination to burst my own forward. My story came about by accident and relating that story by writing about it has both been somewhat confessional but also therapeutic. Delving into the very darkest parts of my life and retelling it, warts and all, has been almost an exorcism for me and a way to cleanse the lingering demons of my soul.
Perhaps the art of good story telling is a structured plot with a start, middle and end. However, in a way my story follows the chronological order of things as my life progressed. In that respect it has its own structure, but the difficult part has been remembering events as they occurred and documenting them in a correct and descriptive manner. I have always had a tendency to digress and actually thought of it as one of my more endearing traits; although, it has been bloody boring at times for my friends. Ronnie Corbett can get a little grating after a while, especially if you are in a hurry for a more direct response.
This snapshot of almost five years of my life has taken nearly seven months to write as many parts of it were extremely difficult to commit to paper. At several points, I must admit that I thought seriously about throwing my PC over the balcony in despair. I thought better of my rash thoughts for two reasons; firstly, I would probably have hit some poor sod below, secondly, I need my PC for my Premiership Forecasting in Shenanigans Pub Jomtien.
The characters and stories are all real and it has been an incredible heartache having to leave out some of the more mundane day to day stuff, as in a way, that is what my life is all about now. However, suffice to say if I had not edited my narrative, you would have needed a fork lift truck to collect the book from the shop. I don’t think Pritchard’s Bookstore would have the room to stock even one copy.
Is it possible to change your own fate? Or is your fate or karma dealt out to you at birth to be played as a pack of pre-ordained cards during the course of your life? I am someone who believes that you can alter bits of your own destiny, but whatever the supreme being or thing has got ultimately planned will come to fruition sooner or later.
By this, I mean you can aid and alter the tangible things that affect you: health, wealth, work, friends, etc. But, after a lifetime of dieting and exercise, who is immune from Cancer? A devoted life working passionately for a cause or job you believe in can end in minutes through a change in management. It is these things that you have no control of and I am convinced are mapped out in front of you the minute your head pops out of your birth mother.
Perhaps you can not affect such events when they happen to you, but you can definitely alter where. Your destiny in this respect is in your own hands - rather than sitting and waiting for the inevitable to happen to you, changes can be made. Not everybody wants or needs to make such drastic amputations to their karma, but at least one should consider it. Living life in a rut is a crime, but living life in a rut and complaining about it is a pure sin. The fact that one is satisfied living in such a manner and the only panacea is just to whinge about the situation belays the true nature of the person.
Do not be concerned that the book addresses such monumental contemplative debate. It definitely does not but offers a view of such amputation that actually happened, sparked off by an event that took me to question my own karma. In other words, I had help to bring me to begin to such introspection that many do not. If I’d had a choice of having my stroke or not to bring me to such deliberation, I definitely would have politely refused the illness offered. However, if such a catastrophic event does happen in your life my point is that an opportunity arises.
One thing is certain in life - that death will happen to us all at some time or other and that cannot be changed. I believe that the time of this event has already been decided, it is what we do before the inevitable happens that we can help control and affect. Fear of the unknown is the overriding decision maker in this respect and for some, decisions are easier to make than for others. Options for change do not have to be acted upon, but they should always be formed to question; otherwise, just sit back and be one of life’s many complainers.



Chapter One
ARMAGEDDON
I woke well before the alarm went off as I usually did if I had something important with work that day. Today, it was a Middle Managers meeting of which I was to attend and it was happening in Telford. I looked at the clock and it was a few minutes past five in the morning. Christ, it was cold, too early for the heating to turn itself