Little Book of Big Corgi Butts

Acoff Zoey Acoff

Description

An illustrated activity book featuring the adorable, fluffy corgi bum What's floofy, boopy, splooty, and driving people wild? Corgi butts. Corgis have been breaking the Internet with their heart-shaped bottoms and woeful glances since the dawn of online. Now, finally, The Little Book of Big Corgi Butts will be the first-ever illustrated ode to the world's favorite dog booty. Part activity book, part homage, this book is a delightful dose of much-needed comfort and cuteness. The Little Book of Big Corgi Butts offers all the charming, escapist fun that anxious adults need today, as well as a stress-relieving, hands-on experience anyone can enjoy. With activities and coloring pages, this book offers Corgi Crosswords, how-tos for drawing derpy pups, amusing word searches, and more. Irresistibly adorable, The Little Book of Big Corgi Butts is primed to be the must-have gift book of the season for pet lovers and anyone who could use more smiles and soft tushies in their life.

Informations

• Publié par: ABRAMS BOOKS
• Date de parution: 16 mars 2021
• Nombre de lectures: 2
• EAN13: 9781647002978
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 9 Mo

Extrait

CONTENTS

CORGIS! FOREWORD BY STEPHEN KING
PREFACE
INTRODUCTION: DO YOU SPEAK CORGI?
CHAPTER 1: HOW TO DRAW CORGIS SO CUTE YOUR PAPER MIGHT CATCH FIRE
CHAPTER 2: CORGIS: IT S A LIFESTYLE. IT S A CALLING.
CHAPTER 3: CHONKY CROSSWORDS + WOOFY WORD SEARCHES
CHAPTER 4: QUIZZES, GAMES, ADORABLE EAR PERKS, AND MORE
SOLUTIONS
RESOURCES
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CORGIS!
FOREWORD BY STEPHEN KING

My wife and I lived the first ten or twelve years of our marriage in a happily dogless state. Then one day my brother-in-law showed up with Jeremy, his corgi, and we fell in love. Didn t even need to talk about it; it was love at first sight. Since then we ve always had a corgi or two to liven the place up, which they do just by being there. Right now it s two-Yoshi and Molly (aka the Thing of Evil). Before that there was Vixen, Frodo, Nixie, Marlowe, Juniper, and good old Bill, our first. None were pets. Each was a full-fledged member of the family.
Why corgis? Maybe because they would fit perfectly in the story of Goldilocks. Dig this: Corgis are not too big and not too small. Like Baby Bear s bed, corgis are just right. They re smart, they have a sense of humor (that fiendish corgi grin is a default position), and they re great watchdogs. No postman or FedEx driver goes undetected with a corgi in the house.
They enjoy toys, especially the ones that squeak, and if you can throw it, they will chase it. Every Frisbee is their friend. Corgis are just plain fun. You haven t really lived until you ve watched a corgi locked and loaded, ready to snap any passing housefly out of the air (in our house we call such unfortunate insects sky raisins ). Nor have you lived until you ve seen a corgi after a big snowstorm. With their sturdy little legs, they go through snow like rowboats in a moderate chop.
They are smart, trainable, biddable, loving dogs. Best of all, though, are those butts. Take it from me, there s nothing in the canine world like a plump corgi backside. I ve had people say, Without a tail to wag, how do you know when he or she is happy? Any corgi owner-we are a dedicated band of brothers and sisters-will tell you that you know, all right. You absolutely know. When you come home from a day trip, a week on the road, or just a jaunt to the supermarket, a corgi runs to you (and believe me, they run fast ) with his or her entire rear end wagging joyfully back and forth. A corgi s butt is a corgi s joy-buzzer, and every time I see it, I fall in love again.
Corgis! Not too big and not too small.
Just right.
PREFACE

I was six when I saw my first corgi. My mom and I were at the airport, flying to LA to visit my grandmom, when I saw a chubby smudge of fur ahead of us on the moving walkway. I kept staring-what kind of dog has a heart-shaped bottom like that? Why is it so short? I could see it was wearing a red vest, with DO NOT PET on it in big block letters. I walked faster. The world around me disappeared. There was nothing but that floofy booty, bouncing hypnotically and only getting closer.
I bent down and stretched my hand out, knowing this would be the best pet-maybe the best moment-of my life. I reached, just inches between us, when suddenly my mom yelled, Noooo! She swatted my hand away and shuffled me off that walkway so fast I didn t even have time to whip out the tears.
I turned to look back at my missed connection, and he was giving me a woeful look, obviously as crushed as I was. We locked eyes. Time stopped. Life sparkled with meaning. Right then I knew that, one day, I would get my very own corgi. And I would pet it as much as I wanted to. And I would let everyone, everywhere, all across the world, pet it as much as they wanted to. We would be prancing unicorns of joy and glitter and soft tushies together, making the world a bouncier, fluffier place for all.
Fast forward to today, and I can definitively report that I am, in fact, a prancing unicorn of joy and glitter and soft tushies with Olive, my Pembroke. She is my light, my life, my everything. And yes, I do sit around and pet her all day. And yes, I do let anyone on the street pet her, and she loves every second of it. We re soulmates.
But what I ve realized from the privilege-nay, the honor-of being mom to this rare and exquisite animal is that nearly everybody feels that spark of electricity when they lock eyes with her. People converge on her like she s a chubby magnet, and they melt into a puddle of oohs and awws while I just sit back and mop it all up. Now I know that I definitely wasn t the first six-year-old to lose their scrunchie over a corgi, and every day I get to set the world right by bestowing all this doggie derri re on the next generation of six-year-olds.
It s my life s work.
That s why I could not be prouder of this book you re holding in your hands. The Little Book of Big Corgi Butts is the paean to the peachiest posterior that we all need. Packed with coloring pages, corgi facts, drawing prompts, crosswords, word searches, hard-hitting articles, and dozens of other activities, this is the book corgisessives all over the world have been waiting for.
So sit back, grab a pack of coloring pencils, a pencil, and an eraser, and get ready for a few blissful hours with the finest fanny on earth. Let the stressful and unimportant demands of life melt away as you learn dozens of corgi facts, color in sweet, sweet tushies, and up your intellect with corgi crosswords. You ll leave feeling replenished, re-centered, and reinvigorated to do what we were put on this earth to do: worship that booty.
- ZOEY ACOFF AND THE CORGIS ARE LIFE TEAM
Zoey Acoff and the Corgis Are Life Team are a collaborative writing group that are totally real and entirely dedicated to the advancement of corgi art, science, and culture. They would like you to know that no corgis were harmed in the making of this book, but maayybe a few thousand treats were slipped to their muses, in the name of science.
THE DOXFORD ENGLISH DOGTIONARY
There is only one Doxford English Dogtionary . Renowned for its discerning discernment, delicious taste, and deep-seated ability to double as a booster seat for the shorties among us, the Doxford English Dogtionary is the guiding light in doggie discourse for the twenty-first century. Some call it gibberish; some call it slanguage; some call it exactly the puppy pillow talk you need to get that booty bouncing your way. Whatever you call it, every devotee of the derpiest dwarves in doggoland needs to know how to stump that walk and bork that talk.
Bork [boarck] verb / forms: borking, borked to speak in dog When a corgi wants to speak his mind, he ll keep borking until you ve heard him.
Bean [bien] noun / plural: beans [bienz] toe pads on the paw The corgi pup ferociously flapped its paws and revealed the tiny beans on the bottom of each foot.
Blep [blehp] verb / forms: blepping, blepped sticking out the tip of the tongue and leaving it there Exhausted from chasing bigger dogs with her little legs, Coco napped so hard that she blepped as she snoozed.
Blinker [bling-ker] noun / plural: blinkers [bling-kers] a corgi eye Rex couldn t take his blinkers off the red dot from the laser pointer.
Boop [boup] verb / forms: booping, booped to gently bop something with a wet nose Waffles stretched out her snout and booped Maggie in the forehead, then followed it up with a sloppy kiss.
Chonky [chahn-kee] adjective / superlative: chonkiest [chahn-kee-est] the endearing quality of being a little chubby For a petite pupper, corgis have big appetites and can easily get a little chonky.
Derp [durp] noun / plural: derps [durps] silly corgi facial expression Butters let his tongue loll out of his mouth and drip drool, his derp of the day.
Derp-o-meter [durp-oh-mee-ter] noun / plural: derp-o-meters [durp-oh-mee-terz] the exposed section of a dog s tongue, which represents its degree of silliness After excitedly chasing a squirrel, Rufus came back panting and displaying a maxed-out derp-o-meter.
Doggo [daw-goh] noun / plural: doggos [daw-gohz] any good girl or good boy A doggo is a gal s best friend.
FRAP [frapp] noun, verb / plural: FRAPs [frappz] / forms: FRAPing Frantic Random Acts of Play, which are unique to corgis and often include sliding around on the floor Every night before bedtime, Suzy gets a burst of energy and FRAPs around the kitchen island.
Floof [flewf] noun / plural: floofs [flewfs] a very fluffy doggo or kitty Although corgis have short fur, their fluffy butt makes them a definite floof.
Loaf [lohf] noun / plural: loaves [lohvz] to form a bread-like shape Charles, the red-headed corgi, tucked his paws under his body and went full-on loaf.
Majestic poof [muh-jeh-stick pouf] noun / plural: majestic poofs [muh-jeh-stick poufs] an impressively fluffy corgi bottom The second Matilda pranced on stage with her majestic poof, everyone knew she would steal first place in the corgi category.
Meerkat [mear-cat] verb / forms: meerkating, meerkated to sit up on hind legs To get a better view of the counter, the corgi meerkated and peered around.
Mlem [mlehm] noun / plural: mlems [mlehmz] the sound of a doggo or cat lick A doggo with a peanut-butter-covered nose goes mlem.
Momo [mo-mo] noun / plural: momos [mo-moz] Japanese for peach, the slang term in Japanese for a corgi butt Corduroy the corgi loves shaking his momo before finally settling down for a nap.
Nub [nuhb] noun / plural: nubs [nuhbz] a short tail You can count on a corgi to wag its nub wildly whenever you come back home.
Pantaloon [pan-tuh-loon] noun / plural: pantaloons [pan-tuh-loonz] a section of longer hair around the hind legs, creating the appearance of wearing pants We used a hair dryer after Missy s bath to fluff up her pantaloons to their max puff potential.
Peach [peech] noun / plural: peaches [pee-chez] a corgi s butt; a fruit that best represents the shape of a corgi s behind That corgi has the poofiest peach that has ever sat on