My Lot

Darren O'Sullivan

Description

My Lot is a two act comedy that is a tribute to the modern day family who, despite the issues with 21st century living, can and do still carry the strength and values family life needs. Despite how it may appear from the outside. The characters within the piece have been specifically chosen to represent different profiles of British life regardless of class or race.The intention is to show, through comedy, how that this seemingly dysfunctional family can and do pull together to help each other though some of the most trying times they may face. During this blackout the family face some huge revelations and learn more about each other than ever before, all within the setting of one joke being told to kill some time. This two act play is for eight actors and suits any acting age, range and ability from college students to adult companies.

Sujets

• Variety show
• Humour

Informations

• Publié par: Andrews UK
• Date de parution: 17 juillet 2014
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781783338849
• Langue: English

Extrait

Title Page
MY LOT
A Two Act Comedy
Darren O’Sullivan



Publisher Information
My Lot first published in 2014 by
Andrews UK Limited
www.andrewsuk.com
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
The characters and situations in this book are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happening.
Copyright © 2014 Darren O’Sullivan
Cover Design by Nick Tiseo
The right of Darren O’Sullivan to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.



Legal Information
This play in its printed form is protected by copyright, and no public or private performance - professional or amateur - may be given without the written permission of the author and the payment of royalty. Anyone disregarding the author’s rights renders themselves liable to prosecution. Enquiries regarding professional and amateur rights should be initially addressed to [e-mail]



Dedication
For my Family, both new and old.



Author’s Note
My Lot was written as a tribute to the modern day family who despite the issues with 21st century living can and do still carry the strength and values family life needs, despite how it may appear from the outside. The characters within the piece have been specifically chosen to represent different profiles of British life regardless of class or race.
The intention is to show, through comedy, how that this seemingly dysfunctional family can and do pull together to help each other though some of the most trying times they may face as a family within the setting of a living room during a black out. Which forces the family to communicate, something that occurs less and less in this computer age.
Each of the children within the piece having a cathartic experience during this short black out. Which although profound for their development is skimmed over without much fuss.
The piece does not move location or time and is set in the now, actors are therefore required to be able to deliver fast paced dialogue with several conversations happening at the same time. The comedy comes from the timing of lines delivered and the reactions to others delivering. Although aimed to be set in Whitby, My Lot can be altered to suit any demographic and directors are encouraged to adapt intonation and localise as needed.



Special Thanks
A special mention needs to be placed to the following actors for the efforts in work shopping and rehearsing this piece from its original draft to this final script.
So, a massive thank you goes to, Glen O’Gorman, Ashley Cook, Neil Arthur, Jodie Hicks, Kathleen Roberts, Inca Honnor and Alice Johnson. Thank you for your time, effort and talent.



My Lot
List of Characters
Mum
Dad
Felicity
Suzy
Cary
Grandpa
Steve
Rhys
Gary



Act 1
Lights up and centre stage we have a settee. On the settee is MUM, DAD and SUZY. Suzy is heavily pregnant and young. On the floor, besides Suzy’s feet is CARY who is still sat in his school uniform. Stage right in an armchair, with a blanket over him is GRANDPA. He is head down asleep, as he remains for most of the play. Upstage left is a computer desk with a PC on it, sat in front, working is FELICITY. All (besides Felicity and Grandpa) are watching television. (Where the audience is, audio only) The power goes out.
Suzy: Ere, what’s happened?
Mum: Looks like a power cut.
Grandpa: The Germans are coming.
Mum: Grandpa, the war finished a long time ago.
Grandpa: Nazi bastards.
Mum: Go back to sleep Grandpa.
Grandpa: Ok.
Dad: Bloody hell!
Mum: We don’t swear in this house.
Dad: Well I was enjoying that programme.
Mum: But still, Cary’s too young to know those sort of words.
Dad: Sorry love.
Cary: I’ve heard it all before mum.
Mum: Heard what?
Cary: You know, bloody hell.
Mum: Cary!
Cary: And shit.
Mum/Suzy: Cary!
Cary: And arse munch.
All: Cary!
Dad: (laughing) Arse munch!
Mum: We don’t swear in this house!
Dad: (still chuckling) So what now?
Using a phone, Mum lights up the space and then blinds Dad, she gets up, everyone besides Suzy does the same, lighting the stage. Felicity uses hers to exit from the lounge, stage left.
Mum: Well what we’.re not going to do is swear anymore, you know I can’t stand bad language.
Cary/Dad: Sorry love/Mum.
Mum then walks and trips on the coffee table.
Mum: Bottoms, (spotting Felicity entering with candles) oh I was gonna do that love!
Felicity starts to give out the candles, the family put them on the coffee table, dining table and telephone stand lighting the entire stage.
Felicity: There, that’s better.
Dad: Alright clever clogs.
They all sit back down and look at the TV, that’s not working.
Felicity: It’s not on!
Mum: I know love (then back to TV screen).
Cary: I’m bored.
Dad: Well do something then.
Cary: Like what?
Dad: Like....like...love?
Mum: You could...read?
Cary: Left my glasses at school.
Mum: Why?
Cary: Don’t need them for TV.
Mum: But there is a power cut?
Cary: I didn’t know there would be though did I?
Mum: Well... you should be more prepared, and don’t talk to me like that.
Dad: Well he has got a point love, I mean, how would he know we were gonna have a power cut? I mean bloody hell.
Mum: Dad!
Dad: Sorry, blooming heck. If he could see into the future wouldn’t we be lottery winners by now?
Mum: I meant about the tone.
Dad: Whose tone?
Suzy: I had a friend called Tone, well it was Tony but I called him Tone. He was nice. Dead muscular forearms...
Mum: Cary’s tone. He should be more respectful and you should back me up more!
Suzy: He may well be the dad...
Dad: Cary, be more respectful.
Cary: Yes dad.
Dad: There you are love.
Mum: That’s hardly backing me up is it?
Suzy: What would you do if you won the lottery?
Mum: I’d go to the Maldives.
Cary: I’d go shopping in New York.
Dad: I’d put Grandpa into a home. Can someone check him please?
Cary gets up and walks over to Grandpa whose head is still down. He puts his hand on his neck, checking his pulse.
Cary: Yep, still here.
Dad: (quietly) Bloody shame.
Mum: What was that?
Dad: I meant about the power cut, missing the end of that programme.
Mum: Oi! Mind that language! And the power cut is nice, we can have a proper bit of family time.
Cary: I’d love to be rich.
Mum: It wouldn’t make you happy though would it?
Suzy: What mum?
Mum: I mean, you’d have to be happy first wouldn’t you? Money can’t buy you happiness.
Dad: It would me, I could pay to put Grandpa in a home.
Suzy: Well we’d be alright then, we’re all happy people.
Dad: That would make me ecstatic.
Suzy: I’d get baby Shaniqua designer clothes.
Dad: He just sits there all day, asleep, smelling bloody awful.
Cary: You can’t call her Shaniqua!
Suzy: Why not?
Cary: Cos its crap!
Mum: Cary! And yes Suzy, we are all happy people.
Dad: Making me miserable.
Suzy: And anyway, people in stone houses!
Cary: What?
Suzy: Your names Cary!
Mum: Like Cary Grant.
Suzy: Like Cary the queer!
Cary: Piss off!
Mum: We don’t swear in this house, and stop it you two!
Beat
Felicity: Glass houses.
Mum: Hmmm?
Felicity: People in glass houses. Not stone houses.
Suzy: Why would you want to be in a glass house? It would just break.
Felicity: That’s the point, the expression is people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
Grandpa makes a gasping sound, he stops breathing, and everyone stops and looks over to him, thinking he may have just died. Eventually he gasps again and mumbles in his sleep.
Suzy: I’m not gonna live in a glass house. That’s silly, imagine the chips you’d get.
They all agree.
Suzy: You’d have auto glass out every five minutes.
Dad: (singing) Auto glass repair, auto glass repl.....
Mum: Shhh honey.
Suzy: Yeah dad.
Felicity: Yeah dad.
Cary: Yeah dad.
Dad: Oh bloody hell.
Mum: (slapping dad) I find that amazing I do, you chip your glass and they inject it with some stuff and it’s gone.
Cary: Suzy had something injected in her once.
Dad: Cary!
Suzy: Did I?
Dad: Bloody hell.
Suzy: Anyway, don’t get a glass house then it won’t be an issue anyway would it? Felicity, you’re so silly sometimes, glass house. You wanna live in a glass house then?
Felicity: I give up!
Suzy: I would cos you know I’m right.
Dad: Someone want to put the kettle on?
Felicity: Dad.
Dad: Yes love?
Felicity: Power cut?
Dad: Oh bloody hell!
Mum: We don’t swear in this house.
Cary: I’m so bored!
Mum: Why don’t we tell jokes?
Suzy: Ok, I got one. Cary!
Cary: What?
Suzy: That’s the joke, Cary.
Cary: Piss off! (He gets up to leave)
Mum: We don’t swear in this house! Where you going?
Cary: To my room.
Mum: Oh no, stay love, we never get to talk.
Cary: Suzy always picks on me.
Mum: She’s hormonal.
Cary: She’s a hor...