Secret Sadness

Valerie Whiffen

Description

Can Your Relationships Make You Depressed?

Past and current patterns, unrealistic expectations, and assumptions about your role in the lives of the people close to you may cause or worsen depression. A Secret Sadness offers a groundbreaking perspective on this phenomenon, as well as powerful tools you can use to explore this issue in your own life.

Women experience depression at a higher rate than men, and researchers have recently uncovered evidence that suggests this may be due to the higher importance they place on their interpersonal relationships. Some of these researchers believe that women who struggle with relationships may be at higher risk for depression because their relationships are intertwined with their self-esteem and perceptions of personal success. This breakthrough book examines the often hidden relationship factors that make women depressed, the secret sadness that can last a lifetime.

Using three detailed case studies from her own practice, author and psychologist Valerie Whiffen explains how interpersonal problems can contribute to feelings of depression. Her insightful narrative sheds light on these problems, and will help you begin your journey toward healing. You''ll learn how to explore your own relationships with intimate partners, children, and parents -with an eye for how these relationships may contribute to feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and anxiety. You''ll ultimately be able to use this information to help overcome depression. And if depression has touched the life of someone you love, this book will help you to understand her better. Revealing the secret sadness is the first step to moving beyond depression and into a life of balance and joy.

Informations

• Publié par: New Harbinger Publications
• Date de parution: 02 janvier 2007
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781572249516
• Langue: English

Extrait

asecretsadness asecretsadness

VALERIE E. WHIFFEN, PH.D.

a secret sadness

VALERIE E. WHIFFEN

New Harbinger Publications

Publisher’s Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other profes sional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a compe tent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright © 2006 by Valerie E. Whiffen  New Harbinger Publications, Inc.  5674 Shattuck Avenue  Oakland, CA 94609  www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup; Text design by Michele WatersKermes; Acquired by Melissa Kirk; Edited by Elisabeth Beller

All Rights Reserved

PDF ISBN: 9781572249516 ______________________________________________________________________

Library of Congress CataloginginPublication Data

Whiffen, Valerie E.  A secret sadness : the hidden relationship patterns that make women depressed / Valerie E. Whiffen.  p. cm.  ISBN13: 9781572244696  ISBN10: 1572244690  1. Depression in women. 2. Depressed persons—Family relationships. I. Title. RC537.W435 2006 616.85’270082—dc22 2006031467

This book is dedicated to Julian and Niall, for having faith in me.

contents

acknowledgments

introduction

CHAPTER 1 the black dog of depression

CHAPTER 2 body & mind

CHAPTER 3 the process of living is stressful

CHAPTER 4 the lives of girls & women

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1

5

19

31

43

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CHAPTER 5 families: unhappy in their own ways

CHAPTER 6 families that hurt: childhood neglect & physical abuse

CHAPTER 7 families that hurt: childhood sexual abuse

CHAPTER 8 when the solution is part of the problem

CHAPTER 9 like mother, like child

CHAPTER 10 our lives don’t change, we change: treatment options

references

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acknowledgments

There are many people whose assistance and support I would like to acknowledge. Among my colleagues at the University of Ottawa, I would like to thank Sue Johnson for teaching me how to do couple therapy ten years ago and for holding my hand over many a cup of “gnatpee” tea; Caro line Andrew, who as the Dean of Social Sciences gave me her unwaver ing support; and Al Mahrer for laughing at my jokes and encouraging me to keep writing. I also would like to thank Kidest Mengistu, my Research Coordinator for the past three years, for dropping everything to run over to the library to photocopy an article for me and for taking such good care of my research that I could give all my attention to this book. I would like to thank the graduate students who have taken my courses over the years and who have allowed me to supervise their clin ical work. I have learned a great deal from their intelligent questions

viii a secret sadness

and from the skill and insight they bring to their clinical work. I am especially indebted to Trevor Deck, Marlene Best, Natasha Demidenko, Dalit Weinberg, Hannah Davis, Marcia McCoy, Leanne Campbell, Veronica KallosLilly, Gordon Josephson, and Jan Thompson. Finally, I would like to thank my many clients over the years. I hope I’ve been true to your experiences.

introduction

Women are twice as likely as men to experience depression (NolenHoeksema 1990). This has been shown in both developed and developing countries around the world. One in four women will experi ence at least one episode of depression in her lifetime. Some women experience many episodes. In childhood, the rates of depression among boys and girls are roughly the same. But something happens when girls go through puberty. The rate of girls’ depression suddenly shoots up, and it stays higher until late old age (Jorm 1987). Many theories have been put forward to explain this fact but none is universally accepted. In this book, I explore what it is about the lives of girls and women that puts them at risk for depression. I bring together the research on gender roles and the research on depression to show why women become depressed and what they can do about it.