Why Men REALLY Cheat

Martyn Stewart

Description

For the first time, discover the traits and characteristics of every type of man you have ever met. No matter what your opinion of men is, you will never look at them the same way again!Prepare for the most intriguing, entertaining and informative book you will read this year. Why Men REALLY Cheat: The Psychological Secrets of Male Infidelity is an enthralling blend of captivating narrative combined with up-to-date and relevant psychological expertise. Beginning with the daily things we all take for granted the book delves deeper into this burning question, progressing at a thrilling rate. Addressing the number one relationship killer that has tormented women for centuries. It has even baffled some men about their own behaviour. You will consider your own relationship situations using the unique insight provided in the psychological findings. Stewart provides extracts from real interviews and questionnaires with hundreds of men, providing the psychological understanding behind the excuses. Why Men REALLY Cheat; the new 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' or 'He's Just Not That Into You'. A captivating read that you will have trouble putting down. It is a must-have for every woman or man; whether currently single, dating or in a long-term relationship.

Sujets

• Dating

Informations

• Publié par: Troubador Publishing Ltd
• Date de parution: 01 novembre 2013
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781783068869
• Langue: English

Extrait

About the Author
Martyn Stewart is from Manchester, England. During his college education, an unforeseen incident unexpectedly led him towards psychology. The subject has been integral to his life ever since.
He has over fifteen years of experience in the field, focusing especially in human relationships and cognitive psychology. During this time, he has conducted studies into interpersonal attraction and the factors influencing relationship breakdown. Currently working as Head of Psychology at one of the world s top international colleges, he is constantly using his experiences and diverse knowledge to inspire the next generation.
In his spare time Martyn is a keen sportsman and entrepreneur. He also holds an interest in acting, music, history, films and travelling. He has contributed significantly to his local area via youth work, social inclusion and teaching.
His latest project, Why men REALLY cheat: The Psychological Secrets of Male Infidelity , has produced a series of successful international seminars culminating with the production of this book. The research findings from men all over the United Kingdom are delivered here in an informative but remarkably refreshing and entertaining manner; the hallmark of all of his enterprises.
Why Men REALLY Cheat:
The Psychological Secrets of Male Infidelity
MARTYN STEWART
Copyright 2014 Martyn Stewart
The moral right of the author has been asserted.
Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study, or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers, or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.
Matador 9 Priory Business Park Kibworth Beauchamp Leicestershire LE8 0RX, UK Tel: [phone] Fax: [phone] Email: [e-mail] Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador
ISBN 978 1783068 869
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
To my mum, brothers and sisters for always believing in me and giving me their unwavering support. To my daughter Shauntea for always giving me a purpose to keep going!
To my two closest friends who have always believed in my potential.
To Samantha Fielding, you are going to be an amazing editor. Thank you for your eye and skill with your contributions. Also to everybody in the Troubador/Matador team that helped put this project together.
To my friends and family - near and far - thank you for the support from the beginning. It has not been forgotten.
I hope you enjoy my work.
FOREWORD
From the very outset of this project people have asked me where the concept for this book came from. Why am I writing about men and cheating behaviour? As if you really need to ask. Intrigue!
Most people are probably lying to themselves if they even attempt to claim that this topic has never held any interest for them. Infidelity is so intertwined with human existence that we have all experienced it in some format at some point; whether personally or by extension. Idle gossip on the topic always perks the ears up whether you were paying attention or not.
After writing several studies into relationships during my psychology studies; constantly being the reference point for friends and colleagues with their relationship queries; and working on several different relationship projects, I soon realised that there was one question that continually surfaced. Why do men cheat?
When engaging in general discussion on the topic, a lot of people will miss the real purpose of this book. Assumptions will abound that it is doing a disservice to one, or both of the genders to write about just men and infidelity. They will disregard the objective questions which are being asked here. Why do men really cheat? Are they born to cheat or do they choose to? What is the real catalyst that triggers the behaviour?
When we ask this, we are not interested in the excuses men spout when they are caught; nor the validation that men try to glean because of the obvious differences in gender biology, but why do men really cheat?
Even women who are happy with their relationships are interested in the answer to this question (either out of apprehension or precaution).
So to get to the bottom of the debate, I decided, not only to look at the previous research, but to ask men face to face and get the answer straight from the horse s mouth. I asked modern men of today their views and experiences of cheating: 547 of them!
This study was to be different. So I visited places where women rarely go but I knew the truth would be found. Gathering information from gyms, barbershops, sports changing rooms and boys nights out. The male safe havens where they feel safe; where they are free to express their true perspectives and experiences regarding infidelity, without fear of retribution or identification.
Now, there are many explanations already out there in the public sphere for why men cheat. These include biological, sociological and anthropological explanations amongst others. I am a psychologist, so bear in mind that the explanation in this book comes from a psychological point of view. I am not discounting the merits of other explanations. I just ask you to consider this one with an objective and open mind.
Some of my research findings were surprising. None more so than the fact that there are not one, two or three but at least twenty-seven different types of men! Twenty-seven types who think and act differently! Whose brains, thoughts and experiences have interspersed, shaping them into very distinct types. You encounter them on your daily journeys. You can meet a charmer on the train or an opportunist in the work canteen; a family man in the office or an enigma in your closest circle of friends. All men are not the same.
Naturally, lots of researchers have tried to identify differences in men. Any search on the Internet will reveal articles suggesting that there are four, eight, ten or sixteen different types of men. Interestingly, I am not the first to suggest there are twenty-seven different types. This was also identified by the famous sociologist, Dr. Stephen Whitehead; an acclaimed and prolific writer in the field of gender differences in his book The Many Faces of Men . Although we both identify the same number, that is really where the similarities end in terms of our publications.
This book focusses on an explanation for why men cheat and how these different types of men are formed. The actual number of types is just one important facet, a sub-plot to the overarching answer.
Even though we look at gender from two totally different angles, the fact that two professionals from differing fields, have independently drawn the same conclusion on the number of different types of men, provides validation and authenticity that cannot be ignored.
Prior to my research, I had deliberately stayed away from the other famous and popular books relating to relationships and gender differences. I didn t want to be unwittingly influenced by their concepts or style of writing. I wanted to produce an objective, fresh, entertaining and insightful piece which was uniquely my own - apart from the obvious similarities, that there is no getting away from.
And the result is this book. It is an entertaining and enthralling look at an ever-intriguing topic. A novel concept fusing together psychological understanding with engaging narrative; it is filled with fresh ideas and a provocative delivery. After years of research, I was convinced that this book needs to be read by the public!
However, I have had people say, why focus only on men? They are not the only ones that cheat, women do as well. Of course I am fully aware that the fairer sex is known to have their own relationship indiscretions too. And although there are similarities in the patterns of behaviour, the story proceeding why the modern woman cheats appears to be entirely different to men and needs to be told separately. Perhaps a sequel beckons.
Nevertheless, not to be diverted from the topic at hand, everybody will relate to different sections of this book in their own way. They will use its contents depending on the particular stage of their life they are at. However, no matter where on life s journey they are, everybody needs to be aware of the relationship BETs that they make. Do you really know the type of man you are betting on? My B.E.T. theory - the unique technique provided here to identify the patterns of behaviour of different types of men - is for everybody. It illustrates that some men may be more prone or less prone to cheating than others. This knowledge is paramount in making an informed relationship decision about any type of man. I was even able to identify my own type using B.E.T. theory, with a little unbiased soul-searching. (I wasn t Mr Perfect as I had hoped for but there is no sense lying to myself!)
Objectively, if I can gain some understanding from my own work, I believe everybody can take something valuable from it too. Whether you are a man searching for your own traits and characteristics or a female trying to identify a specific man in your life, this is for everyone. Hopefully this book will help you efficiently uncover the information that you seek!
Enjoy, Why Men REALLY Cheat: The Psychological Secrets of Male Infidelity
Note - All individual names and personal details in this book have been changed to ensure confidentiality. Scenarios have been altered slightly to protect anonymity.
Chapter 1 - Wednesday evening
Do you think Derek is cheating on me?