Strip Poker

O'Toole Randy

Description

Strip poker - the game of games, the sport of kings. Or rather, the sport of shitfaced fun-loving pervs. And why not? Whoever thought of combining cards with the removal of clothing was truly inspired. Poker played for cash can be a slippery slope to penury and ruin, but when the stakes are the underwear of your really hot flatmate, it can be the start of a wonderful new level to your, ahem, friendship. If you want to see more of your friends, here's your chance. This little book supplies you with everything you need to get you going: basic rules, hints and tips and, most important of all, how to get people to join in, then how to get them where you want them - butt naked - while losing nothing more yourself than a pair of socks.

Sujets

• Lifestyle
• Card game

Informations

• Publié par: Crombie Jardine Publishing Limited
• Date de parution: 30 septembre 2006
• Nombre de lectures: 5
• EAN13: 9781906051693
• Langue: English

Extrait

INTRODUCTION
 
Strip poker – the game of games, the sport of kings. Or rather, the sport of shitfaced fun-loving pervs.
 
And why not? Whoever thought of combining cards with the removal of clothing was truly inspired.
 
Poker played for cash can be a slippery slope to penury and ruin, but when the stakes are the underwear of your really hot flatmate, it can be the start of a wonderful new level to your, ahem, friendship.
 
If you want to see more of your friends, here’s your chance. This little book supplies you with everything you need to get you going: basic rules, hints and tips and most important of all, how to get people to join in, then how to get them where you want them – butt naked – while losing nothing more yourself than a pair of socks.
WHAT A GREAT NAME!
 
Yeah, isn’t it? It does exactly what it says on the tin: you know that you’re in for some poker and some stripping.
 
Wouldn’t it be useful if other games were as straightforward?
 
Take cricket: until you play you haven’t the first clue that you’re in for a whole load of standing around in a wooden shed waiting for the rain to stop. Rugby: the last thing you expect is to spend the rest of your life as a quadriplegic.
 
ANOTHER GREAT MALE INVENTION!
 
It’s a safe bet that strip poker was invented by a guy with one thing on his mind: girls getting their kit off.
 
Of course, it’s possible that it was invented by a woman, but there are much easier ways for a woman to get a man to show her his tackle than playing a stupid game.
 
Like asking him.
 
IS IT A SPORT OR A GAME?
 
The definition of a sport is a game which gets you either muddy, out of breath or seriously injured. Strip poker can achieve all three of these things when played at high altitude in a swamp full of crocodiles, so it’s most definitely a sport.
 
Also, any game involving nudity automatically gains sport status (e.g. darts is a game whereas naked darts is a sport).
 
A BRIEF HISTORY OF POKER (IN 6 EASY LESSONS)
 
#1
 
1.6 million BC
The first breasts roam the earth, attached to large-brained bipedal hominids. They are naked but very hairy, making strip poker unnecessary on two counts.
 
#2
 
10,000 BC
Glaciers retreat, allowing herds of bison, mammoths and reindeer to move north, followed by tribes of clothed humans.
 
#3
 
AD 1864
Poker originates in and around Mississippi and Ohio River, USA, followed some time after by strip poker.
 
#4
 
As you can see, strip poker is a mere blip in the multi-millennial history of humankind. Men have learnt to get women’s kit off via the medium of playing cards in only the past century versus millions upon millions of years of so-called evolution stretching into the past.
 
It is truly tragic that humanity should have foregone significant progress for so long.
 
#5
 
So who were these free-thinkers who were able to shake off the intellectual shackles of the past and make the leap of imagination that had eluded everyone else for so long?
 
Cowboys.
 
#6
 
That’s right. In the Wild West it was common for men to wager their boots or the shirt off their own back when they were out of cash. It didn’t take long for someone to figure out that it was more fun when the women joined in.
 
SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
 
Hang on a moment. You can’t just leap into a game of strip poker without knowing the rules, otherwise you could find yourself divested of clothing without witnessing so much as a nip slip for your own viewing pleasure.
 
STRIP POKER RULES
 
Strip poker is just like standard boring non-nude poker, except there isn’t any betting.
 
The simplest way to play is for the person with the lowest hand at the end of each round to remove an item of clothing.
 
The game continues until there is only one player with one or more items of clothing remaining.
 
If you lose all your clothes, you have to keep on playing.
 
STANDARD, BORING, NON-NUDE POKER RULES
 
Standard poker is played with a deck of 52 cards. Each person gets five cards and then is allowed to change up to three of them. The player with the best cards wins the game. There are nine patterns to aim for, in order of best to worst:
 
Royal Flush
 
Ace, King, Queen, Jack, 10 all of the same suit.
 
Straight Flush
 
Five cards of the same suit in numerical order. In a tie, the highest value card wins. If they are identical, the pot is shared. The Ace can count high or low, but not both, so for example K, A, 2, 3, 4 isn’t allowed, but A, 2, 3, 4, 5 or10, J, Q, K, A are valid.
 
Four of a Kind
 
Four cards of the same value. In a tie, the cards with the highest value win.
 
Full House
 
Three of one value, two of another. If two players have a full house, the higher value of the threesome wins.
 
Flush
 
Five cards of the same suit. In a tie, the person with the highest value cards wins.
 
Straight
 
Five cards of different suits in numerical order. The Ace can count high or low, but not both, so for example Q, K, A, 2, 3 isn’t allowed, whereas A, 2, 3, 4, 5 or 10, J, Q, K, A are valid.