My Child Won't Eat

Carlos Gonzalez

Informations

• Publié par: Pinter & Martin Limited
• Date de parution: 01 janvier 0001
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781780661056
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

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MY CHILD WON T EAT
MY CHILD WON T EAT
How to enjoy mealtimes without worry
CARLOS GONZ LEZ
My Child Won t Eat: How to enjoy mealtimes without worry
First published in the US by La Leche League International Ltd 2005
Second edition first published by Pinter Martin Ltd 2012
This reprint edition published by Pinter Martin Ltd 2020
Carlos Gonz lez Rodr guez, 1999, 2020
Planeta Madrid, S.A., 1999, 2004, 2020
Paseo de Recoletos 4, 4 , 28001 Madrid (Spain)
Translated into English by Norma Ortiz Escobar Additional translation of the second edition by Lorenza Garcia
All rights reserved
ISBN 978-1-78066-312-8
Also available as an ebook
The right of Carlos Gonz lez to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act of 1988
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade and otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher s prior consent in any form or binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser
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CONTENTS
Foreword by Professor Amy Brown
Foreword to the previous edition by Pilar Serrano Aguayo
Introduction: Are there any children who do eat?
PART I: CAUSES
Chapter 1: How it all starts
Chapter 2: Your child knows what she or he needs
Chapter 3: What not to do at mealtimes
Chapter 4: Feeding guides
PART II: WHAT TO DO IF YOUR CHILD WON T EAT
Chapter 5: An experiment that will change your life
PART III: HOW TO AVOID THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE
Chapter 6: Breastfeeding without conflict
Chapter 7: Bottle-feeding without conflict
Chapter 8: Solid foods: a touchy subject
Chapter 9: What the health care provider can do
PART IV: FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Appendix: A bit of history
Epilogue: What if we were forced to eat?
References
Index
Acknowledgements
The mothers stories that are included in this book come from letters that were received by the magazine Ser Padres ( Being Parents ).
Names and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved. I am truly grateful to all those writers for the trust they have placed in me and for the many things they have taught me. An early version of the story The Charge of the Nutrition Brigade that concludes this book was published in the above magazine in February of 1998.
I would also like to thank Maite Fabregat, Joana Guerrero, Rosa Maria Jov , Margarita Otero, Cristina Ros, and Pilar Serrano for their valuable comments about the manuscript.
About the author
Carlos Gonz lez, a father of three, studied medicine at the Universidad Aut noma de Barcelona and trained as a paediatrician at the Hospital de Sant Joan de D u. The founder and president of the Catalan Breastfeeding Association (ACPAM), he is an international lecturer on breastfeeding and parenting for health professionals and families, and writes for several parenting magazines. His books have been translated into 13 languages.
He followed the success of My Child Won t Eat with the bestselling Kiss Me and Breastfeeding Made Easy . All three are published by Pinter Martin.
To my mother, who fed me while sitting on the windowsill
FOREWORD
Food is at the heart of many cultures across the world. We can take great pleasure in choosing, preparing and eating different foods, especially when we prepare them for and share them with others. Food is synonymous with love, care and connection and plays a central role across many traditions, celebrations and other times of coming together. So, it feels somewhat cruel that for many families, encouraging their child to eat a wide and varied diet can also bring such anxiety. Is my child eating enough? Are they eating the right things? Will they ever happily accept what I give them?
The first thing to remember is that you are not alone. It is normal for babies and young children to go through stages where they refuse to eat certain foods or seemingly exist on thin air from barely eating a thing. Refusing to try new foods is likely protective - after all we would not want our newly mobile babies to crawl off to the nearest poisonous berry bush and eat them all. Few babies and children will willingly starve themselves. More likely they are simply more masterful at listening to their internal cues of what their body needs - something many adults will recognise they have sadly lost.
The second thing to remember is that your baby s early experiences around foods are so important. Not in terms of what they do or do not eat, but their social and emotional experience around eating. We all have our own personal memories and connotations of different foods. Where did they come from? From our early experiences of how they were shared with us. Were we encouraged to try them or were we forced to eat them before we could leave the table? Were mealtimes strict or were they a chance to share love and connection with others as we enjoyed our food? Were all foods presented equally as part of a balanced, varied diet or were we told certain foods were a reward for enduring others?
Babies and children learn every day in this way about what food means. The atmosphere around the mealtime transfers consciously or subconsciously onto that food and the experience of eating. Ensuring those memories are positive is far more important than whether your child actually finishes or even tries the food in front of them. You may have spent hours making it but are they going to learn whether it is something to endure or a symbol of love and care?
And this is where this book will be your best friend throughout those early feeds and introducing foods through to expanding your child s culinary repertoire. It will talk you through how children learn about food and how to encourage them to have a lifelong love of healthy eating. It will support you when your child refuses to eat or will only eat specific beige food. It will help you look at the bigger picture, enabling you to look back in years to come with fond memories of how your child learnt to love food in their own particular way. And most importantly of all, it will remind you that the main thing that matters is love.
Amy Brown
Professor of maternal and child public health
FOREWORD TO THE PREVIOUS EDITION
In recent years the knowledge of appetite physiology has made remarkable advances. We marvel at the complex processes that regulate the intake of food. However, it is still amazing how many myths persist when it comes to a child s appetite, and the numerous rules that are imposed upon infant and child feeding.
My first painful experience with these rules was when I witnessed my younger brother s distress. I was about three and he must have been about two years old. That afternoon we were under the care of an aunt who was usually a kind and loving caretaker.
My brother refused to eat the banana that had been allotted to him as a snack. So she took him in her arms, pinched his nose, and when he had to open his mouth to breathe, she inserted the banana without a hint of compassion. She continued doing this in spite of his cries and struggles to get free until he finished the entire banana. I perceived this as an act of cruelty, the purpose of which I did not understand. If he were hungry, he would have eaten, and if he wasn t eating it was because he wasn t hungry! Even a three-year-old child understands this.
I could also tell some tales about the school lunchroom. Under the tables you could find almost anything: most common were slices of bread, oranges and hot dogs. Sometimes there were even whole eggs. I don t know if the principal knew it, or if she thought the children ate all their food, but I m sure the janitor was well aware of how much a child can eat.
After many years of study, I have confirmed my first impression. It is appetite that regulates the intake of food, and at least in children, it does so in a way that adequately meets their needs. Each animal species has food preferences that seem to be genetically determined. We are not the exception, at least before we acquire the habits of the times in which we are born. As the years go by we learn to eat according to different motivations: because it is Christmas or Easter or because we want to please our mother-in-law or look good in a bikini. Children, however, do not have preconceived ideas about how much or when to eat. Neither do they know (nor do they need to know) the doctor s recommendations, nor the recommendations from the World Health Organization, nor how much the neighbour s child eats. This is one reason they do not easily accept the rigid rules that are sometimes imposed on them.
Children do know. We should pay attention and learn, both in regard to food and in many other things. One time, before nursing my son, I asked in a loud voice (so that others in the room who were sceptical about my breastfeeding could hear): Darling, do you want to drink some species-specific milk that has evolved over the course of millions of years until it s perfect just for you? This milk won t cause allergies and it will protect you from many illnesses. Perplexed, he looked at me and said: Nooooo, I wan nummies!
This book, which is easy to read and scientifically sound, as well as respectful to mothers and their children, also shines because of its underlying philosophy about the parent/child relationship. My Child Won t Eat will be of interest not only to those mothers who wish for a child who eats properly, but especially to all the children who dream of enjoying mealtimes as well as all other times with their mothers.
Pilar Serrano Aguayo, MD
Endocrinology and Nut