How to Get a Grip

David P Bullis PhD

Description

"How to Get a Grip" is a stress management toolbox full of examples and techniques that can help you feel less overwhelmed by the challenges in your life. You can't get rid of stress but you can learn how to tame it.
These have been unprecedented times in the lives of most people on this planet. We are all learning how to live with high levels of uncertainty that can seem never ending. The stress that arises out of that uncertainty can be overt and intense or it might be just sitting in the background, either way it is hard to escape. No matter the cause, or the intensity, you deserve to have tools to help you reclaim your best life. This book is a collection of concepts that I learned over the years that have worked for many of my clients, as they struggled to cope with the random, and not so random, events that can befall any one of us. There are lots of ideas and plenty of handouts to practice with so take a dive in and see what works best for you. When you’re done, I hope you feel better prepared and have the tools you need, to regain the control you deserve and to build the life you envisioned.

Sujets

• Bien-être
• Bien-être
• Bien-être
• Bien-être
• Self-help
• management

Informations

• Publié par: Balboa Press
• Date de parution: 04 octobre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781982279288
• Langue: English

Extrait

How to Get a Grip
 
Coping Strategies for Complicated Times
 
 
 
David P Bullis, PhD
 
 

 
 
Copyright © 2022 David P Bullis.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
 
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com
844-682-1282
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
ISBN: 978-1-9822-7927-1 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-9822-7929-5 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-9822-7928-8 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2022901909
 
Balboa Press rev. date: 09/20/2022
CONTENTS
Dedication
Prologue
Get a Grip Stress Inventory
How We Work
Chapter 1 Introduction
Chapter 2 A Self in Four Parts
Chapter 3 The Diamond of Self
Chapter 4 Four Things About Emotions
Chapter 5 The String of Lights
Techniques that Work
Chapter 6 Control is Key
Chapter 7 The Coping Plan
Chapter 8 The Toolbox
Chapter 9 The Three Boxes
Chapter 10 The Five Part Question
Chapter 11 Have a Plan – Follow the Plan
Chapter 12 Three Rules of Life
Chapter 13 The 100th Birthday
Chapter 14 The Ladder of Luck
The Importance of Balance
Chapter 15 The Journey
Chapter 16 My Glass is Half Full and Half Empty
Chapter 17 Tightrope Walking
Chapter 18 The Kitchen Sink
Wrapping Up
Chapter 19 Perfect isn’t Possible (or Necessary)
Chapter 20 How to Move Forward
Chapter 21 The Coping Plan
Appendix
Acknowledgments
DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to two people. First my paternal grandfather H Edmund Bullis, who led the way by working on issues of Mental Hygiene after he came back from Europe in World War II. He pioneered the idea that mental and emotional wellness are things that can be taught and supported rather than the results of some luck of birth or right of wealth and power. Although we never got the chance to talk about how he saw the world or how our views would have aligned or differed, his example has always stayed with me, and I write this book with fond memories of the time we shared together.
This book is also dedicated to my mother Anne Bullis whose sage words when I was a child helped name this book. My sister and I rarely argued when we were kids but occasionally, we would get on each other’s nerves. On one specific occasion we must have gotten on my mother’s nerves as well. She raised her voice and told us to stop bickering and “get a grip” on ourselves. My sister and I fell over laughing at the instruction (likely my mother’s aim from the start). It was good advice then and I have followed it personally and professionally ever since. When I was thinking about titles for this book, her advice seemed like a good summary of the techniques that will follow. It was certainly a better title than “Stop Bickering!” So, if you’ve ever felt like life is getting on your nerves, read on and learn how to get a grip!
PROLOGUE

So, before we get started it would be helpful to get a sense for yourself what the specific areas of stress are in your life. On the next page you can see the Get a Grip Stress Inventory. This is a very general attempt at describing the various areas of stress that impact people’s lives. For each category there are some examples of what typically falls within that heading. In the left most column, there is space to write in your specific challenge or concern. This scale is simply to mark the areas that you will be focusing on finding coping tools for. The higher the level of stress the higher the level of need to address it. Multiple areas of minor stress, however, can also be targets for change since it all adds up over time. The items listed are obviously not a comprehensive list of all the things that stress people out, so I added one row at the bottom for you to add in whatever specific challenge you feel gets in your way the most.
GET A GRIP STRESS INVENTORY

Sources of St ress
(Spec ific)
Not at all Stres sful
1
Kind of Stres sful
2
Clearly Stres sful
3
Majorly Stres sful
4
Severely Stres sful
5
Physical health (illness, injury, disease, capacity, endurance, resili ence)

 
 



Mental Capacity (memory, attention, concentration, thinking, f ocus)

 
 



Emotional Health (worry, sadness, anger, frustration, anxiety, depres sion)

 
 



Spiritual Capacity (faith, spirituality, connection to a higher p ower)

 




Partner relationship (spouse, partner, boy/girlfriend, best fr iend)

 




Family Relationships (parents, siblings, extended family, in- laws)

 




Social Relationships (friends, neighbors, colleagues, acquainta nces)

 




Community relations (neighborhood, village, town, city, re gion)

 




Environment (pollution, access to nature, urban, suburban, r ural)

 




Work (stability, income, unemployment, obligations, responsibili ties)

 




Financial (monthly bills, medical debts, short-term and long-term sav ings)

 




Other (anything else that you can think of that causes you st ress)

 




HOW WE WORK
Chapter 1
INTRODUCTION

“Reality is the leading cause of stress for those who are in touch with it.” Lily Tomlin.
“You are a real foul weather friend,” my friend, Sarah, said one cold and rainy night in our first year of college. She was having boyfriend troubles and I was listening. I may not have been her first choice, but since I was the only psychology major, in a group of engineers, I was the guy most likely to get it. In the end, I didn’t have much useful advice to offer, beyond being a good listener, but Sarah seemed much happier when she left. I realized, often just talking about our problems with someone we trust helps us get through rough times. Over the past 25 years as a psychologist, I have found helping others feel understood and normalizing their challenges can go a long way toward reducing stress. We’ve all had those days, weeks, or months when we’ve felt stressed out and benefitted from having a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to.
Unfortunately, the reason we’re stressed doesn’t just go away after we’ve blown off steam, by ourselve