How to Leave a Narcissist in 30 Days or Less

Marcia Walsh

Description

Written with heart, courage and candor; infused with possibility. Similar to Dodging Energy Vampires by Christiane Northrup, M.D
Using a combination of deep and honest self-reflection, comprehensive research, and a matter-of-fact sense of humor, Marcia Walsh focuses a much-needed spotlight on the dynamic between narcissistic predators and their prey.
“How to Leave a Narcissist in Thirty Days” is part textbook, part memoir, and part user’s manual, threading together a well-proportioned mix of:
• Academic and practical information on narcissistic practices and the predator/prey model;
• Relatable stories and sage advice resulting from Walsh’s lived experience; and
• Easy-to-follow exercises support the reader’s journey to free themselves from a narcissist’s grip.
And while she would love for you to be free from that grip in thirty days or less, Walsh isn’t counting – or judging! She’s more like the best coach you ever had or wished you had; she’s at your side, believing in your ability to grow and change, and giving you words of encouragement every step along the way…while at the same time not suggesting any of this is easy or without risk.
This is a book designed to support readers at whatever pace they are comfortable with as they take the steps necessary to break free from the narcissistic cycle. If you (or someone you love) have ever fallen prey to a narcissist or are at risk of doing so, it is not an overstatement to suggest that this book may well save your life.

Sujets

• Self-help

Informations

• Publié par: Balboa Press
• Date de parution: 16 avril 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9798765240311
• Langue: English

Extrait

How to Leave a Narcissist in 30 DAYS OR LESS!
 
A Story of Heart, Hope, and Healing
 
 
 
Marcia Walsh
 
 
 

 
 
Copyright © 2023 Marcia Walsh.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
 
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com
844-682-1282
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
ISBN: 979-8-7652-4030-4 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-7652-4032-8 (hc)
ISBN: 979-8-7652-4031-1 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2023905022
 
Balboa Press rev. date: 04/13/2023
DEDICATION
For all of our inner children who are longing to be heard,
loved, and cherished by us.
For anyone who is or has been, in relationship with a narcissist. I hope for you strength and courage in reclaiming your life.
CONTENTS
Dedication
Foreword
Preface
How to Use This Book
Introduction: The ‘Big’ Wedding
Part 1: Narcissism in Romantic Relationships
1     What is Narcissism? Signs You Might Be With A Narcissist
2     The Taming of the Shrew Predation in Narcissistic Romantic Relationships
3     Webster
4     Narcissist Fodder Prey for Narcissists
5     Boundaries
6     Advantage Prey
7     Spinning Circles (the First Narcissist)
Part 2: The Five Stages of a Predatory Encounter in Narcissistic Romantic Relationships
8     The Commitment
9     Aware Actions for The Hunt, The Winds of Change, & The Beginning of Deer in the Headlights
10   Stage One: The Hunt
11   Stage Two: The Winds of Change
12   Stage 3: Deer in the Headlights
13   Stage Four: Cat and Mouse
14   Stage Five: Do-or or Die
Part 3: Surviving & Thriving
15   Post-Narcissist Relationship Stress and Trauma
16   Healing
17   Body Wisdom
18   Closing
Acknowledgements
Appendix A: Healing Resources
Appendix B: How to Leave a Narcissist in 30 Days or Less Book Soundtrack
Appendix C: The Five Stages of a Predatory Encounter in Narcissistic Romantic Relationships Playlist
Appendix D: Narcissistic (Default) Specialty Behaviors
Appendix E: What to do if you suspect someone you love is with a Narcissist?
References
About the Author
FOREWORD
When Marcia first mentioned she was thinking of writing about narcissism, I clapped. This book would have been incredibly helpful to me and many others before entering the dating world, the business world, and in dealing with certain relatives. I commend her honesty and bravery in detailing the painful experiences she’s had, in order to give us a gut level sense of what it feels like to be with a narcissist. I found this book to be triggering, and had to take breaks while reading it. You may find this also.
For anyone who has ever dealt with a difficult, self-absorbed, manipulative person either in their personal or business life, this book is for you. It provides clear, concise information about how to recognize a narcissist, how to deal with one, and how to leave one quickly, before you become bogged down in confusion. And for those who have been in such a relationship for years, it provides gentle guidance on how to extricate yourself safely.
Most important, this book reminds you to have compassion for yourself first. For many women, who are socialized to be caregivers and to sacrifice themselves for those they love, it is a reminder that you matter, as does your mental, physical, and emotional health. Included in this book are many fine exercises to support your healing from an abusive relationship.
For those who find themselves dealing with a narcissist, and are too embarrassed to ask for help, a little embarrassment is worth it to escape an abusive relationship. If you have children, your recognition of narcissism and your taking bold action will model behavior they may need to emulate. If you feel unsafe in any relationship, ask for assistance from supportive friends, mental health professionals, and family members. Everyone deserves to be safe, healthy, and supported in relationship.
Recognizing you are in a damaging relationship is hard, much less doing something about it. But the only regret I have ever heard from anyone who has left a narcissist, is that they didn’t do it sooner. This book provides a good source of encouragement to do just that.
Eliel Fionn
PREFACE
Fitz and the Dizzyspells - Andrew Bird
Somewhere Only We Know - Lily A llen
Six months after I left my husband, Webster, I moved into a solo living space. My friend, Esther, was sitting in my landlord’s red, crushed-velvet chair in the living room of the two-plex that I was renting. Esther asked me what had happened with my marriage, and I told her a condensed version. I expressed the shame I felt in getting married and then leaving so quickly. She replied with enthusiasm, “Sister, you have a fan club. I’m telling all my friends about you! You are my hero.” Hearing that, I lit up and replied, “Maybe I should write a book about how to leave a narcissist in 30 days or less.”
Esther’s comment about the fan club had a profound effect on how I viewed my escape and my healing process. Her positivity allowed me to move away from a shame-based perspective of myself and what I had done, to a place of personal power and acceptance of the situation. Previously, I had been vilifying myself for getting involved, getting married, and divorcing so quickly. Self-acceptance allowed me to move forward, and to later encourage others to let go of their shame around being in a narcissistic relationship. I walked away from that conversation inspired, with an extra skip in my step, brimming with hope and possibility.
My leaving became a positive act of courage and self-preservation, rather than a failure of my character. And that perspective allowed me to view myself from a place of self-w orth.
Fast-forward eleven years to a random Sunday in early spring. My friend and I have a standing weekly meditation date, and we start talking about narcissists and sociopaths. Rather than meditate, we talk for two hours, sharing our personal experiences and stories. I tell her about my book idea and she encourages me to write it, stating it would be a public service.
I primarily wrote this book to those of you who are in, or have been in, narcissistic relationships. My goal is to benefit all readers in identifying the warning signs of entering into such a relationship and will provide tools to extricate yourself as quickly and safely as possible, whether a romantic relationship or not.
This book is designed to help you ‘feel’ or ‘sense’ what it is like to be with a narcissist and to validate your experience. I highlight the behaviors within the narcissistic relationships that often feel elusive and confusing. I describe the predatory behaviors of the narcissist clearly in hopes that those of you who are involved in the early stages of a narcissistic relationship may recognize the signs and leave immediately, before you sink any further into distortion and darkness. To the readers without first-hand experience of a romantic narcissistic relationship, my wish is that this book will help you understand and recognize predatory behaviors, in order to be able to support your loved ones in escaping and hea ling.
For those of you who are deep into a relationship, my hope for you is that you will identify your experiences and begin to create an escape plan. I include warning signs, red flags, and reflection questions in each of the predation stage chapters. I encourage you to take the time to explore them. You may get confused and lose your sense of reality when you are being manipulated. It’s often hard to figure out what to do, and what your options are for leaving.
At the time of my narcissistic relationships, I was high functioning and competent in most areas of my life. People saw me as capable and independent. They were shocked when I told my stories of dysfunctional relationships, about how I gave my power away and lost myself. Does this sound familiar to you?
In these pages, I share some of my most puzzling and vulnerable experiences. My intention is to offer perspective for those of you who are in a narcissistic relationship, or who have experienced one in the past. May this book support you in acknowledging the narcissist’s abuse as well as recognizing that those behaviors are his responsibility and not your