I Know What You're Thinking

Lillian Glass

Description

"A practical and savvy guide."
-- Gavin de Becker, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Fear

"Understanding nonverbal language is the essential skill in any profession that involves communication. This book is the best primer on the topic of nonverbal communication I have ever read."
-- Geoffrey N. Fieger, noted trial attorney

"As a regular contributor to and commentator on Court TV, Dr. Lillian Glass has repeatedly demonstrated her exceptional professional skills of reading people in our on-air coverage of several trials. In this book, she shares with readers these skills, which could prove to be invaluable in every aspect of your life."
-- Nancy Grace, Court TV

"A must-read for everyone, whether they are in business or not. Applause to Dr. Glass for giving the public such an important work."
-- Arnold Kopelson, motion picture producer

Knowing how to read people-- picking up on and interpreting their hidden cues-- is a tremendous asset for virtually anything you do. In I Know What You're Thinking, psychologist, bestselling author, and communications expert Dr. Lillian Glass helps you develop a tremendous new set of skills that will make you more perceptive, more powerful, and more successful. As she has done for her numerous clients, Dr. Glass shows you-- step by step-- how to gain the power to know the truth about people. Through simple quizzes and easy-to-follow exercises, you'll learn to improve your judgment of others and make better decisions while projecting confidence, sincerity, and strength. With this fun, down-to-earth guide, you'll be able to look anyone in the eye with a quiet self-assurance that says I Know What You're Thinking.
Acknowledgments.

PART ONE: The Art and Science of Reading People.

Introduction.

1. The "How Well Do I Read People?" Quiz.

2. Why It's So Important to Read People.

Your Answers Reflect You.

No More Victimization.

Two Scenarios: Positive and Negative.

Translating the Vibe.

3. The Basics of Reading People.

The Four Codes of Communication.

Listening to the Speaking Code.

Hearing the Vocal Code.

Watching the Body Language Code.

Looking at the Facial Code.

Read Them, Heed Them.

Using Your Brain.

4. Increasing Your People Reading Skills.

People Reading Survey.

The Ten Characteristics of Great People Readers.

How to Stop, Look, and Listen.

PART TWO: Mastering the Four Codes of Communication.

Introduction: The People Reading Checklist.

5. Understanding the Speech Code.

Speech Code Survey.

Verbal Leakage.

Verbal Leaks and Speech Codes.

6. Understanding the Vocal Code.

Vocal Code Survey.

The Mirror of the Soul.

The Voice Doesn't Lie.

Exceptions in Vocal Code Analysis.

Analyzing Vocal Cues.

Making Your Voice Give the Right Message.

7. Understanding the Body Language Code.

Body Language Code Survey.

Celebrity Body Reading.

The Body Doesn't Lie.

Posturing: Straight and Not.

Be Fully Armed.

Emotional Hands.

Touching.

Emotional Feet.

Leg Reading.

The Walk.

What You Wear.

Grooming and Hygiene.

8. Understanding the Facial Code.

Facial Code Survey.

Facial Disconnects.

Facial Attraction.

Emotional Eyes.

Eyebrow Expressions.

Read My Lips.

The Emotional Chin.

The Nose Knows.

Ear Talk.

Aloof Expressions.

The Sincere Face.

PART THREE: Using the Codes to Determine Personality Types.

9. Understanding the Fourteen Personality Profiles.

Categorizing People.

Personality Profile Quiz.

Psychological Considerations.

First Impressions.

The Fourteen Personality Types.

10. Conclusion: Understanding What It's All About.

Integrating All Four Codes of Communication.

Appendix A: Recommended Reading.

Appendix B: Gallup Poll Results Concerning Annoying Speech Habits.

Index.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• développement personnel
• Paul Ekman
• Self-help
• Lillian Glass
• Personal Growth

Informations

• Publié par: Turner Publishing Company
• Date de parution: 21 avril 2008
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780470321393
• Langue: English

Extrait

I Know What You re Thinking

Using the Four Codes of Reading People to Improve Your Life
Lillian Glass, Ph.D.

John Wiley Sons, Inc.
Copyright 2002 by Lillian Glass. All rights reserved
Published by John Wiley Sons, Inc.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, [phone], fax [phone]. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley Sons, Inc., 605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158-0012, [phone], fax [phone], email: [e-mail].
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering professional services. If professional advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
This title is also available in print as ISBN 0-471-38140-3. Some content that appears in the print version of this book may not be available in this electronic edition.
For more information about Wiley products, visit our web site at www.Wiley.com
I am dedicating this book to my late father, Abraham Glass, and my late brother, Manny M. Glass. These wonderful, brilliant men were truly masters in the art of reading people . May their wisdom I now share with you enrich your life as it has mine; may their insights give you as sharp an understanding of others as they gave me.
Contents
Acknowledgments
PART ONE The Art and Science of Reading People

Introduction

1. The How Well Do I Read People? Quiz

2. Why It s So Important to Read People
Your Answers Reflect You
No More Victimization
Two Scenarios: Positive and Negative
Translating the Vibe

3. The Basics of Reading People
The Four Codes of Communication
Listening to the Speaking Code
Hearing the Vocal Code
Watching the Body Language Code
Looking at the Facial Code
Read Them, Heed Them
Using Your Brain

4. Increasing Your People Reading Skills
People Reading Survey
The Ten Characteristics of Great People Readers
How to Stop, Look, and Listen
PART TWO Mastering the Four Codes of Communication

Introduction: The People Reading Checklist

5 . Understanding the Speech Code
Speech Code Survey
Verbal Leakage
Verbal Leaks and Speech Codes

6. Understanding the Vocal Code
Vocal Code Survey
The Mirror of the Soul
The Voice Doesn t Lie
Exceptions in Vocal Code Analysis
Analyzing Vocal Cues
Making Your Voice Give the Right Message

7. Understanding the Body Language Code
Body Language Code Survey
Celebrity Body Reading
The Body Doesn t Lie
Posturing: Straight and Not
Be Fully Armed
Emotional Hands
Touching
Emotional Feet
Leg Reading
The Walk
What You Wear
Grooming and Hygiene

8. Understanding the Facial Code
Facial Code Survey
Facial Disconnects
Facial Attraction
Emotional Eyes
Eyebrow Expressions
Read My Lips
The Emotional Chin
The Nose Knows
Ear Talk
Aloof Expressions
The Sincere Face
PART THREE Using the Codes to Determine Personality Types

9. Understanding the Fourteen Personality Profiles
Categorizing People
Personality Profile Quiz
Psychological Considerations
First Impressions
The Fourteen Personality Types

10. Conclusion: Understanding What It s All About
Integrating All Four Codes of Communication

Appendix A: Recommended Reading

Appendix B: Gallup Poll Results Concerning Annoying Speech Habits

Index
Acknowledgments
First, I would like to acknowledge my lovely mother, Rosalie Glass, who is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I thank her for teaching me how to be a good observer. I am also grateful for her kind and caring words and her constant encouragement throughout the course of this book as well as throughout my life. I am truly blessed.
To Lambear, my Lhasa Apso, for his frequent visits so I could take a cuddle break. I thank him for making me smile and providing insight and practical experience into how animals communicate and how they read others.
To Tom Miller, my editor, for allowing me to share this book with others.
To Marshall Klein, for his support and belief in me.
To Marc Chamlin, my entertainment attorney, for always watching out for me.
To the late, great Dr. Paul Cantalupo, who was one of my closest friends and largely responsible for my obtaining a Ph.D. in the field of counseling psychology. I thank him for his recognition of my talents, for his incredible support and wisdom, and for the long hours we spent discussing this exciting topic. Our friendship will never be forgotten and will forever be cherished.
And to all the wonderful people I have met throughout my life who have touched me and believed in me, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I can t begin to express how much your support and kind words have meant to me.
PART ONE

The Art and Science of Reading People
Introduction
When I was a little girl growing up in Miami, my late father, Abraham Glass, and I used to play a game. Little did I know this game would be the key to my professional success. He would take me to the movies and at the beginning of the film, there was always a newsreel and a cartoon. After the movie, as we walked down the street to Royal Castle to eat some hamburgers and drink a birch beer from a frozen mug, my father would ask a question, such as what was the name of the dog in the cartoon. If I could tell him, he would buy me a present.
When I was with him, I learned to be extra aware of my surroundings, conscious of everyone I met and every place I went. There was no room for zoning out, because a potential gift was on the line.
My father would usually ask me to recall details like, What color was the lady s dress? Why was that person sad? Who did that man (or lady) remind you of? He was constantly prodding me to be aware of the world around me, forcing me to observe the tiniest detail. Wherever we went, he would point things out: the colors on a small bird s beak, a change in the direction of the wind before a tropical storm, the smell of a freshly mowed lawn, the taste of a succulent ripe mango. His gift was to teach me to heighten all my senses and be totally aware of life around me.
From an early age, I was primed for what would eventually become my life s work. I was so fascinated by this study that I learned as much as I could throughout my formal education. My father prepared me to do well as a student, leading to me to two Ph.D.s, one in counseling psychology, the other in communication disorders. During my education, I learned what was required to help people with every aspect of improved communication skills.
Analyzing speech and voice qualities can provide keen insight into a person s mental health. The rate of a person s voice, pitch, loudness, voice quality, stridency; how much or even how little the person says, all may serve as an accurate barometer to determining the individual s emotional status and, in turn, personality characteristics.
The work of numerous anthropologists, including the popular research done by Desmond Morris and others, have provided the essentials of understanding human facial expression in order to better understand human communication. This information gives us a greater understanding about people s behavior, which gives us a deeper insight into their character. Likewise, the literature concerning body language and how people comport themselves offers an entirely different avenue of understanding from simply listening to their words.
When a person is analyzed on a consistent basis over time in terms of all four modalities-body, face, voice, and speaking patterns-others can accurately decipher which personality types are best and least suited for the person. By observing the true essence of people through these four modalities of communication, we are better able to perceive ourselves and determine which people we should embrace or reject to improve our quality of life.
The technology in this book is based on more than two decades of empirical data collected from thousands of clients whose communication skills I was able to help enhance. They come from various walks of life and all age groups, including some who were psychologically or emotionally troubled and some who were disabled. There were also those who were extremely gifted, mentally healthy and well-balanced individuals, among them athletes, physicians, therapists, homemakers, business people, attorneys, and politicians. I have also worked with high-profile entertainers, including Dustin Hoffman, Julio Iglesias, Andy Garcia, Dolly Parton, Ben Vereen, Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, Keanu Reeves, Rene Russo, Melanie Griffith, and Marlee Matlin.
My clients have learned how to communicate more effectively, improve their public presentations, enhance vocal quality, rectify poor speaking patterns, learn an accent, modify a dialect, and develop greater self-confidence. They have become better communicators in both their business and their personal relationships.
As I worked with people in Beverly Hills and New York City, I scrutinized not only the way they spoke, but their entire persona. Evaluating them from head to toe, developing a diagnosis and plan of attack, I examined every glitch in their speech, the way they held their heads, their facial expressions, eye contact, the way in which they walked, sat, or stood. I carefully listened to and analyzed every detail of what they said and how they