I never saw her eyes

Keletso Yende

Description

If you ever had to say an earthly goodbye to a loved one or had to support anyone going through loss and fertility challenges, this book is for you. Anyone who has suffered loss can gain from the insights about grief and healing. It also gives a fresh perspective on how discovering one’s true identity and purposeful living can enhance one’s quality of life.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• développement personnel
• Motivational
• Inspirational
• Self-help

Informations

• Publié par: Digital On Demand
• Date de parution: 01 mai 2021
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780620931458
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Gaining from the pain of loss
Keletso Yende
Foreword: Overseer Sam Masigo


Copyright© 2021 by Keletso Yende All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission of the copyright owners.
ISBN 978-0-620-93145-8
Cape Town, South Africa
Email: [e-mail]
Facebook: Sister K Foundation
Twitter: @SisterKYende
Cell: [phone]
Design, illustrations and layout: www.thesouthafricanist.com
Editing: Elijah Moholola
Proofreading: Khosi Nkanyezi Buthelezi Dedication




Contents
DEDICATION
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
FOREWORD
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER OUTLINE
Chapter 1:
PAIN OF PARTING WITH BABY NOMBUSO “BUBU”
Chapter 2:
HEALING PROCESS FOR MOM
Chapter 3:
HEALING PROCESS FOR DAD
Chapter 4:
SUPPORT DURING THE HEALING PROCESS
Chapter 5:
HOW TO GAIN FROM THE PAIN OF LOSS
Chapter 6:
LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE
SURRENDER ALL TO JESUS
References


DEDICATION
This book is dedicated to the memory of my late daughter, baby Nombuso Bokang “Bubu” Yende, who was stillborn. The 39 weeks I spent with her in my belly brought so much joy into our lives. I would have loved to nurture and raise her but I am blessed that I can still love her forever. Though I never saw her eyes, I never heard her voice, and I never saw her smile, she gave me new sight, a voice, and a smiley heart. Her unexpected departure, though devastating, gave me new life. Her conception, my pregnancy and her death were not in vain. This book is not only a story of hope, healing and purpose but a cele- bration of her life.
I also dedicate this book to my loving husband, Jesse Yende. Love, you are a great husband and father. When you first told me to start writing books, I didn’t think I could. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for seeing my potential and supporting me in my ministry. I love you, and I thank God for you. You are my precious gift for which I am eternally grateful.


ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
My greatest thank you is to my Father, God Almighty. I am so grateful for all He has done for me. If it were not for Him, I would not have come to this stage of my journey. Ebenezer, He has brought me this far. He is indeed my Jehovah Rapha and Jehovah Jireh, the Lord my healer and provider.
I want to thank the following people:
My loving husband Jesse Yende, for the amazing book cover, the illustrations and layout, and for always encouraging and supporting me in living purposefully.
My parents, my in-laws and family at large for their love, guidance, and continued support and prayers.
My editor Elijah Moholola, it’s a privilege to have worked with him on this project. His spirit of excellence is exemplary.
My proofreader Khosi Nkanyezi Buthelezi, I appreciate her enthusiasm in being involved in this project. Her eye for detail is unparalleled.
My writing coach Dr Nthabeleng Rammile, her guidance has helped me become a better writer. Her passion for writing is infectious.
My Pastor and Overseer Sam Masigo for writing the foreword and staying faithful to God’s call. His leadership and that of Presiding Bishop Mosa and Overseer Gege Sono has helped shape me into the leader I am today. I am grateful to belong to the Grace Bible Church family.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Keletso “Sister K” Yende was born in QwaQwa, in the Free State Province of South Africa. Her family later moved to Bethlehem, which is where she matriculated. She is the second born among five children who are privileged to call Mr and Mrs Lebeko their loving parents. She is married to Jesse Yende with two children.


She had a successful career in Corporate SA for 13 years in the financial services industry. She is now a partner and account manager at Jesse Creations, a strategic and creative agency. She serves on the board and is an ambassador for the non-profit company, The South Africanist, a movement campaigning for positive community impact.
She is the founder and director of Sister K Foundation, a sisterhood that aims to inspire and equip women to embrace their true identity and live purposefully. She is passionate about unifying sisters and helping them create sister- hoods. She mentors’ women and encourages them to invest in empowering the girls in their communities. She is also a pastor at Grace Bible Church and believes every believer should know and embrace their identity in Christ to live a victorious life.
She is an avid student and believes education is an essential transforma- tive tool. Her qualifications include a BCom Economics, BCom Economics Honours, Postgraduate Diploma in Financial Planning, Master of Business Leadership, Bachelor of Theology and a Postgraduate Diploma in Theology. She’s currently a Master of Theology student at Stellenbosch University.
When relaxing, you can find her on a beautiful mountain hiking, on her couch or somewhere outdoors reading, writing or spending time with her best friend, who also happens to be her husband.


FOREWORD
Overeer Sam Masigo
It was a Sunday afternoon while I was out of town when I received a call from Keletso’s husband, Jesse. Immediately I had an unsettling feeling yet hoped for good news. When answering the call, the first thing I said to him was “how is Malentswe?” This was the nickname they planned to give to their child, Nombuso, because during sermon time the child would leap actively. Jesse said they were in hospital. There was an issue with the heartbeat of the child.
The loss of a child, from expectation to the pain of loss. How do you encapsulate in a book the countless thoughts and indescribable feelings from this life-changing moment?
Keletso manages to offer a consoling account by taking us into their private life. The book takes us through a journey of several disappointments, to conceiving a child who is named in great expectation. How this sadly turns into loss of their daughter is captured in the title I Never Saw Her Eyes. Keletso provides a candid journey that unfolds different phases of dealing with loss of a child. The book uncovers the impacts this journey had on each of them, individually and as a couple; and how they managed to cope and rise above their loss. Their story brings you and I to a place where we encounter our own grief, while also revitalising us by demonstrating the faithfulness of God – that through all the challenges of life our Redeemer lives.
I Never Saw Her Eyes practically shows us how Keletso and Jesse managed to gain from the pain of loss. We are not left in a helpless state, as we see how they dealt with self-doubt, stigmatisation, loss, and grief, to a point of regaining solid ground. The book is pragmatic by also showing how support structures cover and anchor us during times of pain. It provides hope by showing God’s plan in the family of the local church. For Keletso and Jesse, remaining under the leadership of our Pastors, His Grace Presiding Bishop Mosa Sono and Overseer Gege Sono, was sustaining because they model and teach the word of God that has a proven track record for all circumstances in life. Altogether, this book is empowering and practical. It is a necessary read – if not for you, then for someone else who might one day need you to have read it. I believe you and I will be empowered to be a blessing and helpfully minister to those who have gone through the loss of a loved one.


INTRODUCTION
Losing a baby at 39 weeks and having suffered multiple pregnancy losses, I realised how complicated grief and mourning is for people who have gone through the same experiences. The secrecy around issues of fertility amplifies the difficulty. In most cases, these issues are almost tagged as abnormalities and absurdities of life, yet these are unspoken realities for many people. Writing this book is my attempt to normalise talking about fertility challenges in safe spaces – rather than only in hushed or even muted tones – and giving hope to those struggling with such issues.
One of the prayers I prayed after I lost my daughter was that God would help me bind my wounds to respond to others‘ needs and never use my battle scars for boasting but only for serving people.
It is my prayer that through this process of innermost reflection and laying bare my situation from personal experiences, encounters and episodes as I share my story, I inspire hope in you.
As you read this book, may you find comfort and strength through knowing that God is with you and He will heal your broken heart and restore your joy, peace and happiness. As a believer, the first thing that suffering challenges is your faith. Such hardship not only leaves you downcast, but it also tends to cast you into the role of one who asks a multiplicity of questions amidst the complexity of whatever situation you are in: where is God, and why does He allow this to happen to me? Is God truly who He says He is?
These are some of the questions you might grapple with. I also asked myself these and many more questions at some point. However, I realised that there was never any doubt that God was with me, He never left, and He is still God no matter what I go through. Realise, too, that you cannot afford to lose your faith and hope, as this is what will give you strength to face each day.
I have purposed not to waste my pain but use it to serve people and glorify God. This is one of the reasons I wrote this book, as Paul said to the church in Thessalonica, “We loved you so much that we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives, too.” - 1 Thessalon