One Clumsy Seeker

Providence Greenseed

Description

You are stronger than you realize. Look at what you've gone through. This author shares experiences and thoughts from their journey.
This book summarizes the journey of someone with mental illness trying to break through the facade of false beliefs through mental meanderings in esoterica and science.

Sujets

• PTSD
• Movimiento de los Santos de los Últimos Días
• Self-help
• Posttraumatic stress disorder
• Mormon
• Trouble de stress post-traumatique
• Église de Jésus-Christ des saints des derniers jours

Informations

• Publié par: Balboa Press
• Date de parution: 08 décembre 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9798765236086
• Langue: English

Extrait

ONE CLUMSY SEEKER
 
LIVING IN THE FLUX WITH MENTAL ILLNESS AND TRYING TO MAKE SOME SENSE OF TRUTH USING REASON AND SCIENCE
 
 
 
 
PROVIDENCE GREENSEED
 
 

 
Copyright © 2022 Providence Greenseed.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com
844-682-1282
 
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
ISBN: 979-8-7652-3607-9 (sc)
ISBN: 979-8-7652-3608-6 (e)
 
Balboa Press rev. date:   12/08/2022
CONTENTS
Preface
Introduction
Purpose
Content
Process
Organization
Chapter 1Creation of Illusion
The birth of illusion
The birth of my illusion
Chapter 2Buying in to the Illusion
A “Self”
A “Girl”
Chapter 3Maintaining the Illusion
Status Quo
Bias
Brains
Community
Habits
Limiting thoughts and behaviors
Anxiety
Closed Mind
Depression
Denial
Fear
Language
Lies
Prejudice
Relationships
Religion
Self-Deception
Self-Perception
Shame
Mental Illness
My family
Myself
Chapter 4What the illusion provides
The Self
Body
Brain
Mind
Soul
Experiencing
Expressing
Chapter 5Glimpses of Our Source
Nothingness
Space
Death
Awareness
Narrow Views
Altered States
Wider Views
Somethingness
Let There be Light
Let There be Life
My own spiritual growth
Childhood
Adolescence
Adulthood
Retirement
Chapter 6Rebuilding our selves
Remembrance
Black Butterfly
Intimacy
Loss and Grief
Love
Nickel and Dimed
Review
Alcohol and Drugs
Art
Athletics
Career
Cats
Cooking
Crafts
Dancing
Education
Gardening
Music
Play
Poetry
Service
Sex
Speaking
Travels
Writing
Reframing
Self
Parents
Siblings
Friends
Community
Associations
Reconstructing
Clearing Ground
Re-Building the Structure/s
Ongoing Construction
Chapter 7Moving On
Karma and Pain
Listening and Learning
Boundaries and Needs
Communication and Compassion
Compassion and Forgiveness
Perspective and Shifting
Hardship and Gratitude
Challenges and Courage
Acceptance and Healing
Transcendence and Enlightenment
Expansion and Inclusion
Humor and Play
Chapter 8Power
Personal
Group
God
Chapter 9Us
Our condition
Conversations
I’ll meet you there
Cultivation
Harvest
Postlude
PREFACE
What PURPOSE does our past serve anyway? Why write memoirs or history? True, we learn from the process, but we can also lock ourselves and others in to old ways of being that don’t serve us well any more, by identifying too much with our personal histories. By this I mean that we are not our personal histories and we don’t have to be defined by them. You know, having your narrative own you rather than you OWNING your narrative. This helps when you have points in your life where you might feel like you’ve just gone along blindly and it took a while to realize some things. Writing things out helps to figure things out. Sharing them helps each other.
Owning your NARRATIVE is easier acknowledged than done. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be so many books and workshops around the whole process. Habits - and cognitive habits of rehashing the past can be challenging, especially when individuals, relationships, and reputations keep moving into your space of energy to draw you back. Besides, some things just have to be EXPRESSED. Built up energy needs to be released. I found this to be the case for me. I had to write this book.
Life is amazing! Our physical reality is comprised of molecules and atoms and so on. The molecules and atoms move or vibrate as the botanist Robert Brown discovered. This movement is called Brownian motion. These particles move with rapidly changing electric and magnetic forces. Light is the result of electric and magnetic forces rapidly changing within the source from where that light comes. Light exists independently of whether or not we can see it. Like the proverbial tree in the forest, sound exists independently of our hearing it. Waves of compression create vibration. Reality then, is a very broad bunch of vibrations. Our senses only pick up short bandwidths of this huge “PHYSICAL” reality.
So why do we make a distinction between what is physical and what is metaphysical? I would say that it has to do with what is within the confines of our personal FILTERED experience. Our filtered experience is not only a small bandwidth of reality, but it is clouded with our biases and expectations and yet still based on what we can measure with our senses or additional technology. The reality that is beyond our comprehension has more truth than what lies within our limited perceptions.
We have learned that light is comprised of various colors – the spectrum. The colors are seen as they are by their WAVELENGTHS. These comprise the electromagnetic spectrum. The electromagnetic spectrum is a range of wavelengths and frequencies that increase 10^9 as suggested by Robert Rivlin and Karen Gravelle. The earth vibrates at 7.8 Hz or cycles per second. This low vibration extends through the bandwidth of electromagnetic radiation to a high-energy wavelength of gamma rays that vibrate at the highest frequencies with the shortest wavelengths. 1 Beta rays are the normal vibrational state of the active human brain. Gamma waves are found in states of insight and are seen most often in monks and those who meditate regularly.
Everything has motion. Everything vibrates. From the large pulsar emitting beams of electromagnetic radiation measured as long as 8.5 seconds, to its comprised photons in wave-like manner, producing interference PATTERNS. Our hearts beat producing waves of nourishing blood, our lungs breathe for us to move necessary gases, and our molecules shiver as they exchange nutrients, neurotransmitters zapping across sodium-potassium pumps to give us thought. We are pulses within pulses within even larger pulses. We are layers and layers of vibration within and without. 2
David Bohm proposes a model of the universe which he describes in terms of implicate and explicate orders. The implicate order is where time and space don’t exist as we know it, because it is an enfolded wholeness. It is this order that is deeper consciousness and awareness, and that “physical” reality is the explicate order which is derived and ABSTRACTED FROM the implicate order.
E = mc^2. Are we at our very core, light? Actually, considering that light is an electromagnetic vibration, what or who we are as a consciousness that animates must be even more prime than that. To say that we ARE the vibration is to say the ocean is the waves. Our bodies and what is “physical” is merely light slowed down. If we are layers and layers of MANIFESTING light, then could the karmic dimension be where “action/reaction” occurs? The realm of pure light consciousness is where all possibilities co-exist simultaneously. Here’s my reasoning. Matter is made up of vibrating atoms and the slower the vibration the denser the matter, right? If we go the other way, the faster the vibration the sparser the thing, like gases and such. What if, in the implicate realm of which David Bohm speaks, we consist of such a fine matter that we vibrate at the speed of light? The implicate realm would be eternal because time doesn’t pass when you go the speed of light. In order to experience life, we need time to pass, and we would have to manifest ourselves from the “nonphysical” domain of matter to the “physical” or more classical domain or matter. To become manifested physically, our implicate consciousness vibrates within our bodies giving life to cells and tissues. To reconnect to our source, requires the brain to be quiet. Meditation and altered states help to get there. Implicate begets explicate, but the explicate scatters widely and sparsely (entropies) to that of the implicate. Giggle… me = mc^2.
That is how I come to see the deeper levels of reality. As the multidimensional energy forces in a COMPLEX WEB of networks. The energy that creates the reality A fractal 3 , of course.
Every day is filled WITH LIMITLESS events, l