Summary of Dr. William Glasser's Choice Theory

Everest Media

Description

Please note: This is a companion version & not the original book.
Sample Book Insights:
#1 Choice theory states that we choose everything we do, including the misery we feel. We are much more in control of our lives than we realize. We only believe we are victims of our past when we are depressed, but we are actually victims of our own choices.
#2 The seeds of all our unhappiness are planted early on when we encounter people who have discovered what is right for them, and try to force us to do what they know is right. The choice we make in how we resist that force is what makes all the difference in how well we get along with others.
#3 The psychology of external control is the source of so much misery because it is the belief in and use of coercion and control to get our way. It is the common sense of our ancestors, parents, teachers, and leaders. It has been with us so long that it is considered common sense.
#4 The world we live in is full of common sense, which is the basic psychology we use to make decisions. But when it comes to making decisions that affect our relationships, we often rely on external control, which is the psychology of punishment and control.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Bien-être émotionnel
• Bien-être émotionnel
• Bien-être
• Bien-être
• Bien-être
• Bien-être
• Happiness
• Personal development

Informations

• Publié par: Everest Media LLC
• Date de parution: 01 avril 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669376088
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

Insights on Dr. William Glasser's Choice Theory
Contents Insights from Chapter 1 Insights from Chapter 2 Insights from Chapter 3 Insights from Chapter 4
Insights from Chapter 1

#1

Choice theory states that we choose everything we do, including the misery we feel. We are much more in control of our lives than we realize. We only believe we are victims of our past when we are depressed, but we are actually victims of our own choices.

#2

The seeds of all our unhappiness are planted early on when we encounter people who have discovered what is right for them, and try to force us to do what they know is right. The choice we make in how we resist that force is what makes all the difference in how well we get along with others.

#3

The psychology of external control is the source of so much misery because it is the belief in and use of coercion and control to get our way. It is the common sense of our ancestors, parents, teachers, and leaders. It has been with us so long that it is considered common sense.

#4

The world we live in is full of common sense, which is the basic psychology we use to make decisions. But when it comes to making decisions that affect our relationships, we often rely on external control, which is the psychology of punishment and control.

#5

There are many examples of how we can improve our relationships with each other, from schools to families to work environments. But we rarely attribute major technical progress to luck. Instead, we attribute it to a new theory or a new way to use an old one.

#6

Choice theory is used in many companies to get employees to work together for a common cause. It is used in the book Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Business Recipe for Both Business and Personal Success to explain how the company gets employees to happily join together in pursuit of a worthwhile common cause.

#7

The name for what we typically do when we deal with each other is called the system. In an external control world, the system is naturally coercive. When it fails, as it is failing in marriages, families, schools, and workplaces, we use more coercion and focus on fixing the people.

#8

We rarely use external control psychology with our best friends, who have been with us through thick and thin for many years. We know we could lose them if we tried to force them to do something they didn’t want to do.

#9

The three beliefs of external control psychology are that we are externally motivated, that we can make other people do what we want them to do, and that it is our moral obligation to ridicule, threaten, or punish those who don’t do what we tell them to do.

#10

Choice theory explains that stimuli, in the sense that they can consistently control a human being to make a specific choice, do not exist. We are not machines. We are internally motivated. We can choose to ignore information or act on it any way we see fit.

#11

When we are miserable, we often try to blame others for our misery or control them when it is against our best interest to do so. But when we stop and think about it, we realize that our misery is caused by the fact that we are continuing to punish and argue with each other.

#12

We must realize that if we coerce anyone too long, there may be a point of no return. We and they may never be close again. Lacking this closeness, some children begin to give up on relationships and, eventually, embark on a lifelong destructive search for pleasure.

#13

The world is full of lonely, frustrated, and angry people who are not able to get close to anyone who is happy. The less happy people there are, the less chance any of us has for happiness.

#14

The second group of unhappy people are those who have given up on relationships and are looking for pleasure without them. They may talk as if they are looking for relationships, but they don’t make this attempt themselves.

#15

Because our parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, and teachers are all dedicated to trying to make us do things their way, we learn to practice external control psychology. But we cannot learn the underlying motivation for our behavior.

#16

Humans are genetically programmed to try to satisfy four psychological needs: love and belonging, power, freedom, and fun. All our behavior is always our best choice to satisfy one or more of these needs.

#17

The first thing we know and more than anything we will ever know is how we feel. Our ability to start to satisfy our needs before we know what we are doing is one of nature’s strokes of genius. We struggle to feel as good as we can and avoid feeling bad.

#18

We are constantly searching for happiness, and we find it in relationships. It is easier and more efficient to struggle together to survive than to struggle alone. We need others to satisfy our need for love and belonging, and we find that it feels good to use some of our power to help others.

#19

The five needs are: survival, love and belonging, power, fun, and liberty. When you feel bad, you can usually figure out which need is not being satisfied.

#20

The second trait that defines humans is our ability to struggle to survive. We are genetically programmed to desire to survive, and we make an effort to live our lives in ways that lead to longevity. However, fat, which is harmful to survival, tastes good because our distant ancestors survived by eating it.

#21

We have many more needs than just survival, and these needs became separate needs as we evolved. We needed freedom, and as a buffer against power, we needed fun.

#22

All of us want love, but we are rarely happy when we get it. The first three variations of external control are all related to love, and all involve the struggle to satisfy our love and belonging genes.

#23

To keep any love or sex relationship going, you must have a life of your own separate from your partner. You must be able to indulge your own interests without fear of criticism or complaint from your partner.

#24

Love is a two-way street. To receive it graciously is a skill that will help any relationship. When we think of love, we usually think of getting it rather than giving it. To learn to receive love is of great help to any relationship.

#25

Power is the need that is unique to humans. We want power for the sake of power, and we will do whatever it takes to get it.

#26

In a choice theory world, where the emphasis is on getting along with one another, there would be little reason to judge each other. The powerful would find that there is more power in getting along with people than in trying to dominate them.

#27

The need for freedom is evolution’s attempt to provide the correct balance between your need to force me to live my life the way you want and my need to be free of that force. External control, the child of power, is the enemy of freedom.

#28

Fun is the genetic reward for learning. We are descended from people who learned more or better than others, and this learning gave them a survival advantage. With the exception of whales and porpoises, we are the only creatures who play all our lives.

#29

The six needs of a relationship are love, power, and freedom, which are the coleaders of a sextet of needs. Anytime there is tension in a marriage, it may be that the relationship among these six needs is no longer working.

#30

Choice theory explains that we all live in a world that we can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell. But we all perceive it differently because we each have a small, personal world called the quality world that is made up of a small group of specific pictures that portray the best ways to satisfy our basic needs.