The Process

Tom Steward

Description

The Process is for groups in recovery programs and for individuals in the privacy of their homes. This writing is for those who overuse alcohol or any substance, as well as any behavior that results in any measure of distress. The objective in following this program is to assist the reader in becoming transparent about their actions, and then develop a plan to find the source of the behavior in question and eliminate it. This entails seeking forgiveness for wrongs done and the healing of hurts and wounds.

Sujets

• Self-help

Informations

• Publié par: Xlibris US
• Date de parution: 27 juillet 2022
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781669839279
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

THE PROCESS
An Engaging Program That Explores Why You Behave the Way You Do and What You Can Do About It
Tom Steward

Copyright © 2022 by Tom Steward.
Library of Congress Control Number:
2022913702
ISBN:
Hardcover
978-1-6698-3929-3

Softcover
978-1-6698-3928-6

eBook
978-1-6698-3927-9
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.
 
Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Rev. date: 07/26/2022
 
 
 
 
Xlibris
844-714-8691
www.Xlibris.com
843419
CONTENTS
Restoration
Preface
The Beginning
 
Chapter 1Transparency
Chapter 2The Life You Now Live
Chapter 3The Sorrows That Carve Deep
Chapter 4Relationship Repair
Chapter 5Forgiveness and Amends
Chapter 6Transcendence
Chapter 7A New Life
 
Conclusion
Further Reading

This book is a manual that describes
a supportive, encouraging, and nonjudgmental healing program
for individuals who are at unease with their alcohol use
(or any substance or behavior)
and also for those who want to help them,
who hope to find the true source behind their behavior,
in a way that results in freedom and empowerment.

For
The Curious
Who Asks Why
And What
 
To all my friends and loved ones
Anyone . . . You
Who drink somewhat casually, routinely, or a whole lot more
Or are dependent on another substance
Or have engaged in any untoward behavior
Hurting or concerning others, even loved ones
Or perhaps have made a big mess of your life
And you tell yourself repeatedly that you need to stop this
Yet you do it again, repeating the behavior you don’t want
Leaving you empty and ashamed and powerless
You wish you could stop, but you don’t, or can’t
And you ask so very often, “Why do I do this?”
RESTORATION
In the Babemba tribe of South Africa, when a person acts irresponsibly or unjustly, he is placed in the center of the village, alone and unfettered. All work ceases, and every man, woman, and child in the village gathers in a large circle around the accused individual.
Then each person in the tribe speaks to the accused, one at a time, each recalling the good things the person in the center of the circle has done in his lifetime. Every incident, every experience that can be recalled with any detail and accuracy, is recounted. All his positive attributes, good deeds, strengths, and acts of kindness are recited carefully and at length. This tribal ceremony often lasts for several days.
In the end, the tribal circle is broken, a joyous celebration takes place, and the person is symbolically and literally welcomed back into the tribe.
This story teaches us a lot about the wisdom of simple people. In our increasingly fast-paced and sophisticated world, we have forgotten to forgive and we have forgotten that without forgiveness it is difficult for someone to achieve the peace of mind that we all long for.
Many times, someone’s bad deed erases in our minds all the good things he or she has done. Disappointed with someone’s behavior at some point, we tend to forget that a person can not be reduced only to a mistake or injustice he or she committed. We have to see the person in the light of all the deeds that define him, many of these being good deeds.
—Jack Kornfield
When a person has done something, behaved in a certain way that is not consistent with their true nature, restoration is needed. This is to be done with utmost tender graciousness and gentle kindness so that the recipient may be reminded of their true worth and value.
This is the intention—to restore the one to true self, the radiance of who they really are in the broader dimensions.
The community gathers to impress upon the one, with words of fond reminiscence of brighter moments, to remember their divine nature, imago Dei and uncarved block. Once this is achieved and the person takes to heart this sacred message, there will be a shift in consciousness, a propelling forward, and a newfound resolve to carry on.
PREFACE
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and towards God’s universe. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous.
— The Big Book of AA
So you drink. Yet how much? And is your level of drinking a problem? You must be bothered by it to some degree because you are here, reading this.
How do you know if you have a drinking problem? Are you addicted? Is it an addiction to alcohol? And what about that term alcoholic ? Are you an alcoholic? Or are you an abusive drinker with an overdependency?
These are just words to describe behavior, yet do you turn to alcohol more than necessary? Are you a casual drinker or periodic? Can you put alcohol down anytime you want to? Do others tell you that you drink too much?
Amen Clinics have presented twelve warning signs that you have a drinking problem. 1 Here they are:
1. You have more drinks than planned.
2. Alcohol plays a featured role in your life, and you spend a lot of time thinking about drinking, obtaining alcohol, or recovering from drinking.
3. The day after drinking, you feel bad and experience brain fog, irritability, tiredness, or low motivation.
4. It’s causing problems in your relationships.
5. You’re getting into trouble at work, school, with money, and/or the law.
6. You get sick physically and/or psychologically.
7. You withdraw from life and from hobbies you normally enjoy.
8. You take dangerous risks while drinking that could harm you or others.
9. When you drink, your behavior is out of character, and you say or do things that make you feel ashamed, guilty, and remorseful.
10. You’ve developed a tolerance and need more alcohol to get the same effect.
11. You’ve tried unsuccessfully to reduce your drinking.
12. You keep drinking despite negative consequences.
And then there is the CAGE questionnaire, developed by Dr. John Ewing, founding director of the Bowles Center for Alcohol Studies at the University of North Carolina. 2 CAGE is a widely used assessment for identifying drinking issues.
Here are the CAGE questions:
• C : Have you ever felt you should c ut down on your drinking?
• A : Have people a nnoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
• G : Have you ever felt bad or g uilty about your drinking?
• E : Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover ( e ye-opener)?
A score of 2 or more is significant, and the higher the score, the higher the risk of complications. Wherever you are on this scale, and if you are willing, what is contained in these pages is a program for you.
In this manual, there are seven modules, which are described below:
Module 1: Transparency
Looking honestly at yourself and who you really are.
Module II: The Life You Now Live
Considering what has become of you and how drinking has impacted your life.
Module III: Sorrows That Carve Deep
Processing the pain and trauma of your life to experience healing.
Module IV: Relationship Repair
Examining your relationships to begin the process of repair.
Module V: Forgiveness and Amends
Assessing the need to forgive and be forgiven.
Module VI: Transcendence
Seeing how your progress has led you to your awakening.
Module VII: A New Life
Observing a new reality as you live a life of freedom and triumph.
I have written this manual because I have heard too many stories of those who feel that they drink too much and would like to stop or curtail their drinking. These individuals do not like what drinking has done to them and their lives, which includes the impact of drinking on their social life and physical health.
There are others who have had serious health challenges related to alcohol consumption, and some have even died. I hope we can gather in community for support and encouragement to save lives and restore relationships.
As I wrote this manual, it suddenly dawned on me that the principles in each module could be applied to any behavior or issue. No matter what behavior you are concerned about, this writing can help.
It could be an overdependency, or what is often referred to as an addiction, to drugs, sex, food, relationships, shopping, gambling, anxiety, OCD, chocolate, anger/rage, and sugar, to name a few. The list is endless, so insert your behavior of choice or even obsession.
This program is called The Process because it is just that, a process. The focus will be precisely where you are, with acceptance and underst