The Wounded in Our Midst

Christine Mungai

Description

This self-improvement book shares one woman’s journey of caring for her mother with dementia, a journey that includes reflection and introspection.
At age fifty, Christine Mungai’s mother was diagnosed with dementia, and it was the beginning of an unexpected life journey for the two of them. Two lives suddenly begin to unravel and at the same time they were transformed by the challenges they faced. In The Wounded in Our Midst, Mungai shows how caregiving can be an unintended symbiotic relationship between the caregiver and the loved one.
Christine shares the new perceptions she formed while taking care of her mother and how they shaped her experience as a caregiver and her outlook on life. She tells how caregiving can be heartbreaking, but it is not inconsequential. It is life changing.
In The Wounded in Our Midst, Christine addresses the emotional conflict, self-stigmatization, and challenges caregivers face. She communicates that the wounded in our midst are the mirrors that help us clearly see our own reflections. They reflect how bright or dim our light is. Therefore, when they show up, it is important to have the courage to look at your reflection, identify murk, and withstand the polishing.

Sujets

• Santé et bien-être
• Développement personnel
• développement personnel
• Perception
• Love
• Dementia
• Self-help
• Forgiveness
• Acceptance
• Caregiver
• Alzheimer's disease
• Inspirational
• Motivational
• Caregiving
• Alzheimer's

Informations

• Publié par: Balboa Press
• Date de parution: 19 juin 2023
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781982271343
• Langue: English

Extrait

The Wounded In Our Midst
 
 
 
 
 
CHRISTINE MUNGAI
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


Copyright © 2021 Christine Mungai.
 
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
 
This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.
 
Balboa Press
A Division of Hay House
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.balboapress.com
844-682-1282
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
 
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
 
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
 
Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version® NIV®
Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc. TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
 
 
ISBN: 978-1-9822-7133-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-9822-7135-0 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-9822-7134-3 (e)
 
Library of Congress Control Number: 2021913679
 
 
Balboa Press rev. date: 06/09/2023
Contents
Preface
 
1She’s Home
2Love’s Ally
3Full Granaries
4There Is Meaning
5Everyone Has Quirks
6Why We Pray
7Call Me Maggie
8Caught Up in the Good
9Sailing in Waves
10Slaying “Goliath”
11Leaves Must Fall
12The Exorcist
13In My Shoes
14To Mourn or to Dance?
15You’re Blessed
16Above All, Love
 
Epilogue
A Note for Caregivers

 
 
 
To my mother , Wangui, I loved you then and still love you. Every changing bit of you, I love. Thank you for teaching me to see perfection in everything and for giving me the courage to surrender and trust in divine providence fully. The words in this book were made possible by you.
 
To my father, Mungai, thank you for standing by, mom. Thank you for your unwavering support and love. Life suddenly took you away from us, but you never left our thoughts and hearts. You are still the only one mom asks after; she often calls out your name, hoping you will answer. Rest in peace, my dear dad. I love you.
 
To friends and relatives, thank you for embracing our family in the way you have, for your earth-moving support, and for being by our side every step. Words can never fully express how grateful we are.
 
To Maggie, thank you for lovingly showing up daily to look after my mother.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What a comfort it is to know that all that I experience is the result of my own standard of beliefs; that I am the center of my own web of circumstances and that as I change, so must my outer world!
—Neville Goddard

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
As you teach so shall you learn.
—A Course in Miracles
Preface
A few years back, my family experienced an unexpected change. My mother was diagnosed with dementia. The news was hard to take, and a cloud of unimaginable distress descended on us. Panic and denial are what ensued. Convinced there was a chance it was a misdiagnosis, we took her through numerous tests hoping to disclose a condition masking itself as dementia; however, as each result came in, my father and I became more disheartened as they all seemed to confirm her fate. Eventually, we had to accept that there was no going back to how things were. Although my acceptance wasn’t radical, my experience did begin to change the less resistant I became.
I will draw much from my experience; however, I don’t claim to know it all or do everything right. I am sharing what has worked for me, hoping it will inspire you. I also write because my journey with my mother has made me aware of the many cultural beliefs and prejudices affecting people with neurocognitive disorders. These beliefs, coupled with stigmatization, are not limited to my country but are shared across the world, and unknowingly, they have formed invisible barriers that hinder us from extending quality care to our loved ones.
I would be lying if I said I have been able to escape the feeling of sadness, the pain is there, and it stings. It sometimes tags heavily on my heart, threatening to sink me into despair. Yet, pain is only part of the story, not its entirety. I once heard a talk by novelist Chimamanda Ngozi that I resonated with, having suffered the false African stereotype several times. She highlighted the danger of presenting a single story and how one story could easily become the only story. So despite the heartache, I want to share with you the beauty that has come about from this transformative experience too.
Sometimes the healing is for those who seem whole, while the wounded are there to make us aware of our need for that healing. Therefore, I hope the following pages will encourage you to determine your own experiences.

 
 
 
A Convenient Time to Cry
She is filled with so much sadness.
Today it weighs heavy on her heart.
She can feel the drain.
She knows she is about to faint.
Unsure how much longer she can go on.
She wonders when her help will come.
Willingly, she took up the task.
Willingly, she’s borne its weight.
There is one who’s suffered the most.
One, who’s lost the most.
One, who’d be lost alone.
Their grief is intertwined,
Their suffering, however, is incomparable.
For the sake of the one, she fights back the tears.
For the sake of the one, she resolves to go on.
Maybe tomorrow, there will be a chance encounter.
Maybe tomorrow, there will be a word spoken.
Maybe tomorrow, she will be replenished.
1
She’s Home
To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.
—Tia Walker
My mother was diagnosed with dementia at a young age—at the time of her diagnosis, she was turning fifty. I remember being devastated when what was happening to her finally sunk in. She was in her prime years and wasn’t even ready to retire. She had just begun to enjoy being an empty nester with no obligation; this was her time to focus on herself and get to all the pending things on her bucket list that she’d longed to experience and see. But instead of being more settled, her life was upended; it was a cruel blow. I didn’t even know how to pray about it; all I could do was plead for her life. So many times, I asked God, “Why her? Why us?”
However, that kind of questioning was usually short-lived in my family, because my mother was never one to crumble at the first hurdle. Whenever my late sister or I complained to her about something unpleasant that had happened to us or the family, she always responded by asking us who else we would rather it have happened to.
At this point, it would be good to let you in on an encounter I had a few years back, the meaning of which I would only realize later. I can’t remember the exact day, but while in university, I was walking to the bus stop after a lecture, and on my way, I stopped to browse some books on a roadside stand. A certain book caught my eye: The Elect Lady by Bishop Eddie Long. I must have been drawn to the red tulip on its front cover, because it wasn’t a genre I normally would have considered buying, but for some reason, I bought it. The first few chapters of the book were an account of Long’s mother’s sacrifices for the sake of her family. His mother chose to stay in an abusive marriage for the sake of her children, and when she was diagnosed with dementia, he and his siblings chose to take care of her, just as she had chosen to do for them many years before, when she could have left. They did not send her to a home but instead took her in.
When I read the book, I wasn’t familiar with dementia, nor did I try to find out more than what was explained in its pages. However, I was very moved by Long’s story and inspired to send a message of appreciation to my mother for all the sacrifices she’d ever made, known or unknown to me. I never read the book beyond that page. I did not know it then, but a force had inspired me to pick up that particular book because a time was coming when I would face the same choice.
I came to know of my mother’s condition in September 2013. She was living and working in the United States with my father at the time of her diagnosis. I hadn’t visited my parents the previous year because I’d relocated to another country to take up a position with the company I was working for.