Dr Ruth's Guide for the Alzheimer's Caregiver

Ruth K. Westheimer, Pierre A. Lehu

Description

Dr. Ruth, a trusted name in relationship therapy, presents effective coping strategies for both the practical problems and emotional stresses of Alzheimer's care. More than 15 million Americans are responsible for the care of a loved one with Alzheimer's disease, a situation that can quickly lead to feeling overwhelmed while trying to balance between the full-time needs of a dependent adult and the caregiver's own physical and mental health. The tactics and resources presented in this book build confidence in the caregiver and provide health-guided advice on how to avoid burnout, seek support from family and friends, resolve family disputes, maintain a loving relationship with a spouse or parent with Alzheimer's, manage behavior, and make the home a safe environment. Keeping the best interests of everyone involved in mind, the guide also details how to coordinate effectively with doctors, facilities, and other care providers.

Informations

• Publié par: Linden Publishing
• Date de parution: 05 octobre 2012
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781610351362
• Langue: English

Extrait

D R . R UTH ’ S G UIDE FOR THE A LZHEIMER ’ S C AREGIVER

How to Care for Your Loved One without Getting Overwhelmed … and without Doing It All Yourself
D R . R UTH ’ S G UIDE FOR THE A LZHEIMER ’ S C AREGIVER

How to Care for Your Loved One without Getting Overwhelmed … and without Doing It All Yourself

Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer

with Pierre A. Lehu

Fresno, California
Dr. Ruth’s Guide for the Alzheimer’s Caregiver
Copyright © 2012 by Ruth K. Westheimer and Pierre A. Lehu.
All rights reserved.

Published by Quill Driver Books
An imprint of Linden Publishing
2006 South Mary Street, Fresno, California 93721
[phone] / [phone]
QuillDriverBooks.com

cover image © Peter Maszlen Fotolia.com
cover design: Andrea C. Cooper

Quill Driver Books and Colophon are trademarks of
Linden Publishing, Inc.

ISBN 978-1-61035-136-2

135798642

Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
Contents

Acknowledgments
Introduction

Part One: Advice from Dr. Ruth
Chapter 1: How to Help Yourself
Chapter 2: Feelings
Chapter 3: You Get to Have a Life, Too
Chapter 4: When You’re Taking Care of Your Spouse
Chapter 5: When You’re Taking Care of a Parent or Other Relative
Chapter 6: Dealing with Professional Caregivers
Chapter 7: Helping Children and Grandchildren Cope

Part Two: Standing on the Shoulders of Giants
Chapter 8: Treating Alzheimer’s
Chapter 9: Tips for Caregivers
Chapter 10: Where You Can Get Help
Chapter 11: Facilities
Chapter 12: Legal and Financial Issues
Appendix: Internet Resources
Index
About the Authors
This book is dedicated to the more than 15 million unpaid caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s, who are coping with a great burden, both physically and emotionally.
"The truth of being human is gratitude, the secret of existence is appreciation, its significance is revealed in reciprocity." Insecurity of Freedom , by Abraham Joshua Heschel, Schocken Press, 1959
Acknowledgments

Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer’s acknowledgments:
To the memory of my entire family who perished during the Holocaust. To the memory of my late husband, Fred, who encouraged me in all my endeavors. To my current family, my daughter Miriam Westheimer, Ed.D., son-in-law Joel Einleger, M.B.A., their children Ari and Leora, my son Joel Westheimer, Ph.D., daughter-in-law Barbara Leckie, Ph.D., and their children Michal and Benjamin. I have the best grandchildren in the entire world!
Thanks to all the many family members and friends for adding so much to my life. I’d need an entire chapter to list them all, but some must be mentioned here: Pierre Lehu and I have now collaborated on well over a dozen books, he’s the best Minister of Communications I could have asked for! Cliff Rubin, my assistant, thanks! Mark Agronin, M.D., Dr. Peter & Naomi Banks, Peter Berger, M.D., Simon Bergson, Nate Berkus, David Best, M.D., Chuck Blazer, Frank Chervenak, M.D., Richard Cohen, M.D., Martin Englisher, Cynthia Fuchs Epstein, Ph.D., Howard Epstein, Meyer Glaser, David Goslin, Ph.D., Hartmut Grossman, Amos Grunebaum, M.D., Richard & Elaine Heffner, Polly & Herman Hochberg, David Hryck, Esq., Steve Kaplan, Ph.D., Rabbi Barry Dov & Shoshi Katz, Bonnie Kaye, Patti Kenner, Robert Krasner, M.D., Nathan Kravetz, Ph.D., Evelyn Kravetz, Marga & Bill Kunreuther, Dean Stephen Lassonde, Ph.D., Matthew & Vivan Lazar, Rabbi & Mrs. William Lebeau, Robin & Rosemary Leckie, Hope Jensen Leichter, Ph.D., Lou Lieberman, Ph.D., and Mary Cuadrado, Ph.D., Jeff & Nancy Jane Loew, John & Ginger Lollos, Sanford Lopater, Ph.D., & Susan Lopater, David Marwell, Peter Niculescu, Dale Ordes, Rabbi James & Elana Ponet, Leslie Rahl, Bob & Yvette Rose, Debra Jo Rupp, Larry & Camille Ruvo, Simeon & Rose Schreiber, Daniel Schwartz, Amir Shaviv, David Simon, M.D., Jerry Singerman, Ph.D., Betsy Sledge, William Sledge, M.D., Mark St. Germain, Henry and Sherri Stein, Jeff Tabak, Esq., Marilyn Tabak, Malcolm Thomson, William Turner, M.D., Greg Willenborg, and to all of the people who worked so hard to bring this book into print at Quill Driver Books, especially Steve Mettee, publisher Kent Sorsky, and Jaguar Bennett.

Pierre A. Lehu’s acknowledgments:
Thanks to my wife, Joanne Seminara, who not only provided her usual support, but on this book added her legal expertise; my son Peter, daughter-in-law Melissa Sullivan, and fantastic grandson, Jude Sullivan Lehu; my daughter Gabrielle and her future husband, Jim Frawley; my in-laws, Joe and Anita Seminara and the entire Seminara clan. And, of course, a great big thanks to Dr. Ruth. This is our 18th book together and, as she always reminds me, in the Jewish tradition 18 is a lucky number so good luck to both of us.

Special Thanks to the Wonderful People at the Hebrew SeniorLife Dementia Research, Medical & Care Team Dinner:

Tara Fleming Caruso, MA, LMHC
Jane Givens, M.D., MSCE
Susan Kalish, M.D., MPH
Ruth Kandel, M.D.
Diana Miller, MSW, LICSW
Susan L. Mitchell M.D., MPH
Robert J. Schreiber M.D.
Sheila Trugman, M.D.
Anne M. Thomas
Mary Miller
Introduction

L ife is always difficult when a loved one is sick, but it’s especially so if you are the primary caregiver. And it would be wrong to try to compare the difficulties of caring for someone with one disease to another. If you are under duress, then what you are going through is unique to you and, as far as you are concerned, what other people are going through has no bearing on your life. Yet, it must be acknowledged that the challenges facing caregivers who are dealing with Alzheimer’s disease are enormous. If you are responsible for taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s, especially in the advanced stages, you have quite a weight on your shoulders. The purpose of this book is to make carrying that weight a bit more tolerable.
Sadly, you are not alone. With almost six million people diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in the United States, there are an estimated fifteen million caregivers, a number that would equal the fifth-largest state in the nation. The caregivers I’m speaking of are unpaid, meaning the vast majority of them are family members. According to statistics from the 2011 Alzheimer’s Disease Facts and Figures , caregivers provide seventeen billion hours of unpaid care a year, at a cost of over $183 billion. While caregivers bear most of the cost monetarily, emotionally, and in so many other ways this is a burden that all of us need to share to some degree, because it can be just too much for the individual caregivers. So to do my part I wrote this book.
It’s understandable that your first reaction to seeing this book might be, "Dr. Ruth may be a world renowned expert on sex, but what does she know about taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s?" That’s a legitimate question and so let me answer it. Thankfully, I have not had to deal with caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s. But a number of friends who do share this burden have come to lean on me for advice. When they told me what they were experiencing, I started asking them questions, just as I do when people come to me with a problem about their sex life or their relationship, and I gave them guidance, which they’ve told me over and over again that they’ve found very useful. I’m hopeful that what I learned in the process, together with my training in counseling, will help the caregivers who read this book.
My training is in behavioral therapy. I happened to specialize in the area of sex, but the concept of behavioral therapy is effective in many different aspects of life. A behavioral therapist doesn’t concentrate on the underlying cause of a problem, like a psychiatrist or psychologist might do, but offers practical advice on what to do to overcome the problem at hand. And, let’s face it: If you are taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s, you have your share of problems. So what I am going to do in this book is offer practical advice on how to cope with your particular burden. I’m going to show you how to get help, even if you are reluctant about asking for it. I’m going to offer you advice on how to work with your family, despite any fraying of relationships Alzheimer’s may have caused.
Much of the specific technical information about Alzheimer’s disease in this book can be found elsewhere. I have every intention of standing on the shoulders of those who have a lot more experience dealing with Alzheimer’s patients than I do. In fact, the second half of this book relies mostly on information I’ve gleaned from other sources. Some of this material comes from actual friends and acquaintances of mine. (I have a friend who uses me to raise money for Alzheimer’s research, and some very generous friends of his have bid as much as $100,000 to have lunch with me to show their support for this cause.) Much of the advice I offer here comes from the research I’ve done, which you could do on your own. But the problem with doing your own research is that you are likely to become overwhelmed with information at a time when you are already overwhelmed with the duties of being a caregiver.
So what I hope to do with this book is to concisely present the information that will help you to cope. My advice is influenced by all