How to Help Your Anxious Teen

Jessica Thompson

Description

Help Your Teen Find Joy and Peace If your son or daughter is suffering from anxiety, you probably have more questions than answers: What is causing the anxiety? Is this normal teenage angst or something more serious? What can I do to help? Jessica Thompson, the mother of three teens, has seen kids struggle with anxiousness. She wants you to understand the issues surrounding teenage anxiety and how our culture, the church, and perhaps even you may be contributing to the problem. The culture tells kids that it's not okay to be normal, that social media is vital to their well-being, and that athletic, academic, and other accolades are all-important. The church, though well-intentioned, sometimes places undue pressure on teens to ';do big things for God' and ';be the best Christian you can be.' Caring parents may inadvertently overcorrect their teens' behavior and try to control it (';helicopter parenting'). They may also use their kids' accomplishments to build their own identity or try to be their children's best friend. But there is help and hope for you and your teenager. When you equip yourself with truth from the gospel and the rest of God's Word, you can help your child to cope with anxiety, and your family can experience greater freedom and peace.

Informations

• Publié par: Harvest House Publishers
• Date de parution: 06 août 2019
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9780736976725
• Langue: English

Extrait

Endorsements
There are books that calm our anxious souls, books that illumine paths of practical wisdom, and books that re-anchor us to immovable biblical truths. This book does all three-and it does so with exemplary grace. If you re a parent, especially one with a teen, these pages are Jessica s priceless gift to you.
-Chad Bird, author of several books, including Your God Is Too Glorious
Wise, clearheaded, and gospel-focused-Jessica Thompson has done us all a great service by providing answers for how to help our children experience real peace in a world where fear and anxiety are being stirred up every day. There is real hope here.
-Bob Lepine, cohost of FamilyLife Today
As a mama who will parent four teenagers in this lifetime, I appreciate the wisdom on the subject of anxiety that Jessica brings to this book. Every page is soaked in humor, real-life examples, and eye-opening ideas about what anxiety looks like for today s teenagers, all while pointing us back to our God, who loves us and asks us to cast our anxieties on Him.
-Jamie Ivey, host of The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey podcast and author of If You Only Knew
How to Help Your Anxious Teen is the unfussy parenting guide I didn t know I needed. With her signature blend of grace and humor, Jessica Thompson shakes us awake, urging us to pay attention and ask the hard questions. Fear and inadequacy wither as we lean on the unshakeable goodness of God through it all. What a relief! I ll return to this one again and again.
-Shannan Martin, author of The Ministry of Ordinary Places and Falling Free
If you are parenting an anxious child, Jessica s gospel-centered perspective is just what you need! Jessica equips us with a preventative and pressure-free approach to ensure we don t become another source of anxiety in our teens already pressure-filled lives. And best of all, Jessica continually points us to the power of God s Word and the hope we have in Jesus.
-Jeannie Cunnion, author of Mom Set Free
HARVEST HOUSE PUBLISHERS
EUGENE, OREGON
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from The ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version ), copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Verses marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE, copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress. All rights reserved. Represented by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
Verses marked CSB have been taken from the Christian Standard Bible , Copyright 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Christian Standard Bible and CSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
Cover design by Bryce Williamson
Cover photo hannahgleg / Getty Images
Published in association with Wolgemuth Associates, Inc.
How to Help Your Anxious Teen
Copyright 2019 by Jessica Thompson
Published by Harvest House Publishers
Eugene, Oregon 97408
www.harvesthousepublishers.com
ISBN 978-0-7369-7671-8 (pbk.)
ISBN 978-0-7369-7672-5 (eBook)
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Thompson, Jessica, 1975- author.
Title: How to help your anxious teen / Jessica Thompson.
Description: Eugene, Oregon: Harvest House Publishers, [2019] | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019000379 (print) | LCCN 2019003549 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976725 (ebook) | ISBN 9780736976718 (pbk.)
Subjects: LCSH: Parenting-Religious aspects-Christianity. | Parent and teenager-Religious aspects-Christianity. | Anxiety in adolescence.
Classification: LCC BV4529 (ebook) | LCC BV4529 .T554 2019 (print) | DDC 248.8/45-dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019000379
All Rights Reserved. No part of this electronic publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, digital, photocopy, recording, or any other-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The authorized purchaser has been granted a nontransferable, nonexclusive, and noncommercial right to access and view this electronic publication, and purchaser agrees to do so only in accordance with the terms of use under which it was purchased or transmitted. Participation in or encouragement of piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of author s and publisher s rights is strictly prohibited.
Contents

Endorsements

1. The Problem

2. Mental Illness or Elevated Anxiety?
Part 1: How Society Contributes to Your Teen s Anxiety

3. Accomplishments Are King

4. The Disdain of Being Normal

5. Social Media, Electronics, and Our Kids

6. The Diminishing Sense of Safety
Part 2: How the Church Contributes to Your Teen s Anxiety

7. Do Big Things for God

8. Be a Good Christian
Part 3: How You Contribute to Your Teen s Anxiety

9. Helicopter Parenting

10. Using Our Kids Instead of Loving Them

11. Can We Be Best Friends?
Part 4: How Your Teen Gives In to Their Anxiety

12. The Desire to be Successful, Well-Liked, and Good-Looking

13. Conclusion

Notes

About the Publisher
1

The Problem

T he sound of the espresso machine made it hard to hear her timid voice. I had to lean forward and strain to catch what she said. She fiddled with her paper coffee cup and repeatedly crushed the crumbs of her muffin with her thumb.
I am so anxious all the time. I don t know what to do. My friends all told me that cutting helped them deal with it. So I tried it. I don t know if it helps or not, but it did get my mind off all the things I was worried about.
I put my hand on her arm and noticed it was littered with little nicks, some fresher than others, some scarred over. My heart hurt for her. She was only 14, but she felt the crushing weight of anxiety every single day. Her body exposed the internal conflict she tried to hide. She was worried about school, church, her family, and boys. She had experienced an incredibly tough year, and things didn t seem to be looking up for her.
Her story is not exceptional in any way. I have a 19-year-old son, a 17-year-old son, and a 14-year-old daughter, and all three of them have told me that they experience anxiety at some level or another. Teenagers today are suffering from anxiety at increasingly alarming rates. Catch a teenager in a talkative mood, and they will tell you most of their friends are anxious. Anxiety has replaced depression as the number one problem teenagers deal with. From 2010 to 2017, anxiety has been the main reason kids seek mental health services, and each year has seen an increase in the number of teens seeking help. This year, 51 percent of students who visited a counseling center reported having anxiety, followed by depression (41 percent), relationship concerns (34 percent) and suicidal ideation (20.5 percent). Many students reported experiencing multiple conditions at once. 1 The number of teenagers that have been admitted for attempted suicide has doubled over the last ten years. 2 This rate reaches its zenith when kids return to school each fall.
Anxiety feels like a weight. It has been described as the feeling of tripping-the moment where you don t know whether you are going to catch yourself is how you feel all day long. Or when you tap your pocket to get your wallet, and it is not there. You feel that every moment of every day. Or

like when you see cop lights in your rearview and you know you did something worthy to get a ticket. Coming down from an attack is like the cop flying past you, heart still racing, kinda shaky, sweaty, and it s all in the back of your head the rest of the day. You think how great it was that you didn t get pulled over this time, but you are painfully aware you might not get this lucky next time. 3
According to the National Institution of Mental Health, anxiety is now the most common mental health disorder in the United States. Almost one-third of both kids and adults are affected by it. 4 Part of the problem of anxiety with our youth is that most of us adults view it as a part of everyday life-it s not a big deal, we tell them. This feeds into their anxiety; they don t believe we are taking them seriously, which in turn makes them more anxious.
I have always thought we should be most concerned with our children suffering from depression, but things are changing-anxiety is what we now should be looking out for.

It s important to understand that anxiety and depression often occur in the same teenager, and may need to be treated as two separate disorders. Anxiety is more likely to occur without depression than depression without anxiety. It may be that depression leads to anxiety-the negative state of mind of a depressed teenager lends itself to uncertainty. If you re not feeling good about yourself, or confident, or secure, or safe, anxiety may find fertile ground. It may also be because the regions of the brain affected by anxiety and depression are close together, and mutually affected. 5
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders ( DSM-5 ),

Fear is the emotional response to real or perceived threat, whereas anxiety is anticipation of future threat. Obviously, these two states overlap, but they also differ, with fear more often associated with surges of autonomic arousal necessary for fight or flight, thoughts of immediate danger, and escape behaviors, and anxiety more often associated with muscle tension and vigilance in preparation for future danger and cautious or avoidant behaviors. 6
Or to put it more plainly, Anxiety is the overestimation of danger and the underestimation of our ability to cope. 7
The problem is real, and it doesn t seem to be going away. How do we help our children deal with it? Is the rise of anxiety in children real, or are they just identifying as anxious because they don t know how to cope with everyday stress? How does the g