Love Is A Flame

Stuart Bell James

Description

Couples who want to improve or revive their marriages need shared experiences. As much as they can profit from the theories of marriage experts, they need to hear from ordinary couples who can say "I've been there" and have found unique and creative practical solutions to restore the vibrancy of their marriages. These original stories offer encouragement and optimism that significant changes and growth can take place in marriages at all stages and walks of life. Couples will find entertainment, instruction, and application with the brief commentary following the stories.

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 juillet 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441211736
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 2 Mo

Extrait

© 2010 by James Stuart Bell
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438 www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan. www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2010
Ebook corrections 04.15.2016 (VBN), 10.05.2017
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-1173-6
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations labeled NIV 1984 are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled TLB are from The Living Bible , copyright © 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Cover design by Lookout Design, Inc.
Dedicated to my wife, Margaret, who has kept the flame burning for thirty-three years.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Credit goes to my chief editor, Kyle Duncan, who had the same vision to extend the Love Is a Verb concept to marriages; to Julie Smith and Ellen Chalifoux for superb editorial assistance; and to my friend Tim Peterson for his creative and enthusiastic marketing efforts.
James Stuart Bell
CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Foreword Gary Chapman
Epigraph
We’ll Always Have Paris Lynne Rienstra
While He Was Sleeping Emily Osburne
Moonlight, Roses, and Kids With Stuffed Noses Rhonda Wheeler Stock
Encouraging My Dream Kevin Lucia
True Confessions Marsha Fisher
In Love With Another Jeff Adams
No More Keeping Score Connie K. Pombo
My Cheating Heart Tonya Brown
A Gift With Priceless Wrapping Zeta Davidson
The Krikit Caper Harriet Michael
Dollar-Store Romance Jeff Friend
Making Room for Daddy Roberta Updegraff
The Shoes No One Can Fill Dayle Allen Shockley
Our Honeymoon and the Dangers of the Demon Brew C. Michael Bobbitt
The Only Sure Foundation Pamela Sonnenmoser
Money Can’t Buy Me Love Ginny Dent Brant
My Mentors in Caregiving Jim Rawdon
Where’s the Bread? Mimi Knight
Love on the Rocks Kelli Regan
Sometimes, Just Say No Kathleen Kohler
The Irresistible Orange Coat Brenda Wood
Managing Pain Together Dave Branon
A Little Romance Goes a Long Way Annettee Budzban
God Does the Altering Kathy Collard Miller
Prayer That Leads to Wisdom Janet Perez Eckles
Beware of Barracudas on Bikes Wendy Miller
Some Swan Song! MaryEllen Stone
A Desire That Burned Slowly J. F. Bunger
Slow to Anger Don Sultz
It’s Okay to Rock the Boat Jan Lucas, as told to Cheryl Freeman
Sleepless in Seattle Judy Bodmer
A Glimpse of Shining Armor Dena Netherton
The Wake-Up Call Mary Potter Kenyon
Give and You Shall Receive Kitty Chappell
Forgiveness—With No Strings Attached Deena Andrews
From Soup to Superb Becky Yates Spencer
It Began in the Nursery Bryan Townsend
From Soap Opera to Fairy Tale Loretta J. Eidson
The Hurricane That Saved My Marriage Mimi Knight
Love in a Laundry Basket Diane Gardner
Engine Failure Debbie Maxwell Allen
A Love That’s Never Out of Fashion Marty Trammell
Learning to Swim Kathy Nickerson
About the Contributors
Back Ad
Back Cover
FOREWORD
M arriage is a journey through unchartered waters. When we made those huge promises of “for better or for worse,” we never truly expected it to get worse. “For richer or for poorer” seemed unrealistic. How could we ever get poorer? Of course, we knew that “in sickness and in health” were both realities, but sickness comes at the end of life. In short, none of us were prepared for the real world of living in covenant with a spouse who is more human than divine.
The old saying is “Truth is stranger than fiction.” I would add, “And it’s much more powerful.” Real stories, written by real people, in their own words; that is what you’ll find in Love Is a Flame . As I read these stories I found myself laughing, crying, and reflecting on my own marriage and the hundreds of couples who have walked in and out of my counseling office over the past thirty years.
I do not mean to imply that these are stories of couples who have found healing via counseling. For the most part the authors never entered a counselor’s office. But the lives they have experienced, and the conclusions they have drawn, remind me of the pain and the joy that most of us have experienced. The insights that James Bell gives at the conclusion of each story shed the kind of light every counselor seeks to bring to his clients.
As you read these stories, you will remember the ups and downs of your own marriage, and you will also observe the patterns of life you have seen in the marriages of your friends. I hope you will be grateful as you reflect on the lessons you have learned, and I hope you will be open to try some of the ideas that have brought success to other marriages. Learning from the failures and successes of others is much cheaper than going to see a counselor. So laugh, cry, and learn as you read Love Is a Flame: Stories of What Happens When Love Is Rekindled .
—GARY CHAPMAN, PHD, AUTHOR OF THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
There it is.
Just a spark.
It flickers.
It glows.
It grows.
As it increases, it brings light to the darkest corners.
It brings warmth and life to the coldest hearts.
Love is a flame that sets our world aglow.
Love, like fire, is one of the most powerful forces on earth; one of God’s greatest gifts.
And marriage is a hearth in which it flourishes.
In these pages, you’ll see different nuances of that love flame.
You’ll see the people who stoke that flame to bring even more warmth and light into their marriage through prayer, acceptance, kindness, and practical actions.
You’ll meet those who learn how to fan the flames into the fire of passion that only two can share.
You’ll see the flame roar to life, to vanquish the darkness of confusion, fear, and misunderstanding.
You’ll see how in other marriages the flame of love rises up to purify and burn out the dross and ills that threaten a relationship—pornography, adultery, and even apathy.
And you’ll even see the embers of forgiveness and tenderness bring reassurance and comfort during the glowing moments of life.
So come. Sit back and put another log on the fire.
See how you, too, can make the flames dance steadier, brighter in the hearth of your marriage.
—James Stuart Bell
W e’ll Always Have Paris
T hey call it the seven-year itch. That’s the dangerous season many marriages enter after the thrill of newlywed bliss has faded and the reality of bills, kids, and busyness has knocked most of the romance from the relationship. Mine was more like a seventeen-year itch.
My husband, Rob, and I met during college through InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. After spending a week together at a leadership training seminar, Rob asked me if I’d ever considered being a pastor’s wife.
Whoa, boy! I thought. I’ve only known you seven days.
But we had an unmistakably close connection and a common commitment to ministry. In spite of two more academic years on separate campuses and summers separated by a whole ocean, we watched God confirm our call to each other.
We married soon after graduation. I sailed out of the church on the arm of my groom, sure that the years to come would be marked by idyllic moments of wedded delight and romantic trysts.
But our honeymoon was cut short by illness, and like most couples, our first year was full of adjusting to the practical aspects of living together—without driving each other nuts.
Rob fell in love with my joyful impulsiveness and joie de vivre , but found my chronic lateness and disorganization less endearing. And the calm solidity that first attracted me to Rob had begun to seem dull and unimaginative. Where was the fun, spontaneous romance of our courtship?
By year seventeen of our marriage, we had come pretty far. Five years after we married, Rob finished seminary. I taught high school English. We led youth groups, started a church, and tried to start a family.
But life proved a lot more challenging than I had dreamed the day we said “I do.” Rob and I learned how to put wheels on our promises to stick by one another in “sickness and health,” “for better or worse,” “for richer or poorer.” We weathered serious illness, infertility, miscarriages, financial stressors, multiple moves and jobs, two children, and the joys and rigors of ministry life.
Year seventeen found us serving in our second pastorate, a tiny church on Cape Cod. We had two adorable kids but too many bills, so Rob painted houses to supplement our income. If anyone had asked me at the time, I believe I would have said that we were happy and that life was good. But my fortieth birthday was approaching and life didn’t look as glossy or glamorous as I had imagined it would be. Though I appeared all right on the surface, underneath I was a little numb, a little disappointed, and more than a little tired of the sameness and struggle of each day!
One morning after the kids boarded the school bus, Rob told me to sit down. He had something to tell me.
Oh, this won’t be good, I thought, steeling myself for the blow.
“I know your fortieth birthday