Love is a Verb

Gary Chapman

Description

Dr. Gary Chapman has spent his life helping people communicate love more effectively and in turn build more satisfying and lasting relationships. His book The Five Love Languages is a regular on the New York Times Best Sellers list--even after being in print for fifteen years--and has made the term "love language" a part of everyday speech.Love Is a Verb takes his teaching to the next level. Rather than a typical marriage self-help book filled with lengthy explanations of principles and techniques, it is a compilation of true stories displaying love in action. These stories--written by everyday people--go straight to the hearts of readers, who often say that illustrations are the most effective parts of a book. Gary Chapman adds a "Love Lesson" to each story, showing readers how they can apply the same principles to their own relationships.

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 01 janvier 2010
• Nombre de lectures: 3
• EAN13: 9781441204028
• Langue: English

Extrait

GARY CHAPMAN
B ESTSELL NG A UTHOR OF The Five Love Languages
Love

Verb
Love Is a Verb Copyright 2009 Gary Chapman
Cover design by Lookout Design, Inc. Art direction by Paul Higdon
Some names have been changed to protect privacy.
Unless otherwise identified, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified NIV are from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise-without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Published by Bethany House Publishers 11400 Hampshire Avenue South Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
Bethany House Publishers is a division of Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan.
E-book edition created 2010
ISBN 978-1-4412-0402-8
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of
Dedicated to
Derek and Amy Chapman,
whose lifestyle demonstrates
that love is a verb.
A CKNOWLEDGMENTS
I am indebted to those individuals who shared their stories of love with me. This book would not have been possible without their contributions. I am extremely grateful to Jim Bell, who encouraged this project from the beginning and played the major role in collecting the stories. I hope that both he and the contributors will be rewarded by knowing that their work has helped others discover that love is a verb. I m also grateful to others on the editorial and marketing side who played a role-Kyle Duncan, Tim Peterson, Julie Smith, Ellen Chalifoux, Donna Carpenter, and Jeanette Littleton.
On the personal side, I have been greatly blessed with a son, Derek, and a daughter-in-law, Amy, who have for all of their married lives provided a model of what it means to love. Beginning with their wedding in Prague and continuing with their ministry in Antwerp, and now in Austin, Texas, they have been involved daily in giving their lives away to others. I dream of a day when their example will be multiplied, and to that end I have dedicated this book to them.
Gary D. Chapman Winston-Salem, North Carolina
C ONTENTS

Introduction
Gary Chapman
Loving Lavishly
Tamara Vermeer
The Potato Fiasco
Eileen Roddy
The Changeling
Louise D. Flanders
A Simple Cup of Chee
Steven L. Brown
Drinking Milk With a Spoon
Doris E. Clark
The Hug I ll Never Forget
Rebecca Willman Gernon
Between Mountain Streams and Ferris Wheels
Sheila Farmer
The Little Girl Who Changed My Life
Laurie A. Perkins
Opposites Attract-Then What?
Emily Osburne
The New Love-Room
Betty J. Johnson Dalrymple
A Christmas Miracle
Loretta J. Eidson
Between the Baby and Basketball
Kevin Lucia
A Reason to Live
Sudha Khristmukti
Better Than Chocolate
Midge DeSart
Who s Winning the War?
Laura L. Bradford
Lost and Found-Four Sisters
Sarah B. Hawkins
My Knight Knows
Leslie J. Payne
The Heartbeat of Springfield
Jon Hopkins
The Girl Who Pierced My Heart
Barbara L. Scott
A Wounded Heart Set Free
Amy Chanan
Entering Molly s World
Elsi Dodge
Just Call Me Babe
Donna Smith
When Sara Taught Me Freedom
Nancy Page Sheek
The Good With the Bad
Sheila Farmer
Everyday Adventures With Mom
Faith Waters
Trials and Errors
Billy Cuchens
It s Not About Me
Christine McNamara
Not the Girl for My Son?
Ann Varnum
Silver-Boxed Kindness
Pamela Dowd
A Spring Tulip in Frozen Ground
Gena Bradford
All She Needed Was Time
Katherine J. Crawford
The Day My Husband Prayed I d Die
Laquita Havens
The Battle of the Dishwasher
Susan Stanley
The Weather Kitten
Nancy J. Farrier
Say Good-bye to Your Mistress
Jennifer Devlin
The 50/50 Proposition
Sandy Cathcart
For Richer or Poorer
Chris Wright
The Price Is Worth It
Jacquelyn Sandifer Strange
Pulling Weeds on Blossom Trail
Connie Pombo
Love s Doorway
Nora Peacock
I NTRODUCTION

Love makes the world go round.
All you need is love.
Love can make you crazy. . . .
As long as any of us can remember, poems, songs, films, and orators have tried to adequately describe and express love. Movies and TV programs focus on the pursuit of love and personal fulfillment. Advertisements use this strong sentiment to sell us products. Our culture often seems to have a love-tracked mind.
Whether it s in marriage, family, or friendships, it s no wonder that love is such a draw and places so high on the priority list in our lives. After all, the wisest book I ve ever read, the Bible, tells us that God himself is love.
Few emotions in life equal the exciting adrenaline rush of a newfound romance or the sweet companionship of a friend or the faithful support of a family member. No wonder we seek love above so many other positive experiences. The normal, everyday challenges are so much easier to survive when we know we have people who are always there when we need them and support us unconditionally.
Because every love relationship involves fallible humans, challenges abound. Unlike the personal connections portrayed on the big and small screens, the real issues between people usually can t be resolved within thirty minutes or even a few episodes. Sometimes circumstances and people make it almost impossible to love successfully.
The euphoria subsides after marriage, and the romantic feelings might fly out the window. We have a sharp disagreement and find ourselves being antagonistic instead of supportive.
Sometimes communication quandaries occur. At other times, we may cling to unrealistic expectations. And at other times, frankly, we may not even actually know how love factors into the equation. And when the going gets tough, some people just get going . . . leaving a trail of wounded hearts behind.
As a pastor and counselor, I ve seen it over and over again. A spouse gets bored with marriage and gives in to the temptation to see if the grass really is greener in another person s yard. Parents and children emotionally excommunicate each other over a misunderstanding. Someone sits alone at church or stays home because he or she has lost a friend and is afraid to become vulnerable and reach out again.
I ve seen too many people give up on love too fast. Walking away from relationships doesn t provide the hoped-for relief, bring solutions, or simplify life. Rather, it piles on more problems through the lingering resentment and finger-pointing.
So what are the answers to the challenges love brings? For starters, to last for the long haul and through the stresses and complexities of life, love has to be more than something we feel. It has to be something we do. We have to demonstrate it concretely in our marriage, our family, among our friends and acquaintances, and, yes, even among our enemies.
And that s what this book is about. In the following pages, you ll see examples of people just like you-like all of us-who learned to take the obstacles, the lemons they face in life, and turn them into satisfying, emotional-thirst-quenching nectar. These are the success stories that make you want to go out and try harder.
You ll read about:
Doris, who kept her hands busy furiously knitting when she almost felt like using them to strangle the husband she truly couldn t stand any longer.
Faith and Louise, who both had to learn how to cope when a stranger s mind inhabited their loved one s body.
Sarah, who wanted nothing to do with her sisters; and Laquita, who finally fell in love with her husband after forty years.
Kevin, who found out what sacrifice for another person isn t . . . as well as what it is.
Sudha, who literally had a suicidal stranger plopped on her doorstep; and Laurie, who found love peeking through her hedges.
Steven, who gave a cup of hot coffee to warm the love circulation in his heart; and Tamara, who learned that she had the power to enhance a less fortunate person s world.
Rebecca, whose father was incapable of showing emotion; and Eileen, who was expressing her emotions way too vividly!
Midge, the woman who expected chocolate and ended up with a bitter taste in her mouth.
Loretta, who crawled through the unbelievable pain of criminal behavior, as she was asked to disinherit a beloved perpetrator.
Pamela, who ended up finding the treasure of her heart beneath the lid of a small silver box.
All of these people, and a couple of dozen more, share their tales of learning to live out love through tragedy and triumph. Their experiences are more mesmerizing than any contrived Hollywood chronicles could be. You ll be able to connect with their narratives and relate to their angst and achievements.
And after each story, I ve highlighted a key element that can help you become unbeatable in your quest for strong, stable relationships. Through these pages, I ll give you practical pointers these people used that you can also put into action. These stories will inspire you to build, rekindle, and experience the kind of love and friendship that endures after the warm fuzzy feelings have faded.
So do you want to enjoy the best relationships possible? Then get to work. Love isn t wrapped up in a pronoun-in he, she, or them. It s not about who other people are or how they treat us or what they do to make us value them. It begins with you, and it s not primarily about what you say or feel. Instead, love is an action word; it s a choice you have to make. Love is a verb!
--Gary Chapman
Loving Lavishly
T ony walked into our office one day where my husband, Tim, counsels disabled veterans. His brilliant smil