More Than Just the Talk

Jonathan Mckee

Description

Have Real Conversations With Your Kids About SexThe old ways of having the "sex talk" just won't cut it anymore. Sadly, the number one place today's young people go to for answers about sex is Google. Meanwhile, kids view nearly 14,000 sexual references a year on television, and 70 percent of teenagers have encountered pornography on the Internet. If we want our children to know the truth about healthy sexuality, we need to create a comfortable climate of continual conversations.Jonathan McKee will show you how to move beyond the initial awkwardness of this subject into an ongoing communication with your kids about God's amazing gift of sex. He equips you with what you need to talk openly about dating, temptation, porn, and purity, and you will find answers to tough questions and relevant Scripture on sexual issues.It's normal for kids to be curious about sexuality, and they need to know that their parents are the most reliable source of information. Be the one your kids turn to on this crucial topic."In a world full of explicit lies, today's kids need parents who aren't afraid to tell them the explicit truth. This book provides parents with the tools they need to have these candid and continual conversations."--Dr. Kevin Leman, New York Times bestselling author of Have a Happy Family by Friday"Jonathan McKee is one of America's premier youth specialists, and this book will help you navigate the rough waters of teaching your kids healthy sexuality."--Jim Burns, PhD, president, HomeWord and author"Parents, take a deep breath. This book pulls no punches. But it will give you exactly what you need to walk alongside your kids at this time when they most need it."--Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher, speaker, and bestselling author"A thorough, straightforward, and engaging resource that will both equip and inform a parent for effective, culturally relevant, and God-honoring conversations about sexuality and all its implications. It is a critical read in critical times."--Brian Berry, generation ministries pastor, Journey Community Church, La Mesa, California; and author"SO many parents I know don't feel equipped to talk to their kids about sex. This book helps you overcome the (guaranteed) awkwardness of conversations like that, and provides both tools AND motivation. I wish every parent would read it."--Scott Rubin, director of middle school ministry, Willow Creek Community Church"Jonathan McKee provides clarity and practical knowledge so that you and I can do more than just give a nervous 'talk' to our kids; we can be loving and consistent parents for them as well."--Terry Linhart, PhD, educator, author, Bethel College--Indiana"Kids need parents who are educated, aware, and relevant when it comes to sex. Thankfully, Jonathan McKee gives us powerful, poignant, and practical tools to help us win in this delicate and scary parenting arena."--Doug Fields, co-founder of DownloadYouthMinistry.com, youth pastor for thirty years at Saddleback & Mariners Church, speaker, and author "McKee is a frontline youth worker with current and regular interactions with Christian teenagers wrestling with the intersection of their faith and their sexuality. Never condescending, Jon brings his writing style to a subject I wish more parents were talking about with their teens."--Mark Oestreicher, partner, The Youth Cartel and author"Jonathan McKee's book helps us to remember that 'the talk' is a myth at best, and a terrible strategy at worst. A lifestyle of preparation, a strategic series of discussions, and a proactive commitment to conversation is what our kids need, and this book will help any parent to walk with their kids in confidence."--Chap Clark, professor of youth, family, and culture, Fuller Theological Seminary

Informations

• Publié par: Baker Publishing Group
• Date de parution: 10 mars 2015
• Nombre de lectures: 0
• EAN13: 9781441265111
• Langue: English
• Poids de l'ouvrage: 1 Mo

Extrait

© 2015 by Jonathan McKee
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www . bakerpublishinggroup . com
Ebook edition created 2015
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy, recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4412-6511-1
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible , New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations identified NIV are from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Some names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of those whose stories appear in this book.
Cover design by Greg Jackson, Thinkpen Design, Inc.
Author is represented by WordServe Literary Group.
“In a world full of explicit lies, today’s kids need parents who aren’t afraid to tell them the explicit truth. This book provides parents with the tools they need to have these candid and continual conversations.”
—Dr. Kevin Leman, New York Times bestselling author of Have a Happy Family by Friday and The Birth Order Book
“Jonathan McKee is one of America’s premier youth specialists, and this book will help you navigate the rough waters of teaching your kids healthy sexuality. There are some shocking but true statistics in this book to help you do your job. It’s a very good read and can help your kids make good decisions about their sexuality for their lives now and their future.”
—Jim Burns, PhD, president, HomeWord and author of The Purity Code and How God Makes Babies
“Parents, take a deep breath. This book pulls no punches. But it will give you exactly what you need to walk alongside your kids at this time when they most need it. Let’s become a generation of parents that our children can safely come to for truth!”
—Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher, speaker, and bestselling author of For Women Only and For Parents Only
“If you’re a parent of a teen or several teens like I am, then talking authentically and intentionally about sexuality is a mandatory responsibility in today’s world. Failure to do so would be either sheer ignorance or negligence. To this end, Jonathan has written a thorough, straightforward, and engaging resource that will both equip and inform a parent for effective, culturally relevant, and God-honoring conversations about sexuality and all its implications. It is a critical read in critical times.”
—Brian Berry, generation ministries pastor, Journey Community Church, La Mesa, California; author, As For Me and My Crazy House
“SO many parents I know don’t feel equipped to talk to their kids about sex. This book helps you overcome the (guaranteed) awkwardness of conversations like that, and provides both tools AND motivation. I wish every parent would read it . . . their kids would be the ones who’d benefit!”
—Scott Rubin, director of middle school ministry, Willow Creek Community Church
“We shouldn’t just wait for someone or something else to help our children navigate the confusion and deception that they experience regarding sex. Jonathan McKee is both a parent and a trusted expert on adolescence and youth-related issues. In this book, he provides clarity and practical knowledge so that you and I can do more than just give a nervous ‘talk’ to our kids; we can be loving and consistent parents for them as well.”
—Terry Linhart, PhD, educator, author, Bethel College—Indiana
“Kids need parents who are educated, aware, and relevant when it comes to sex. Thankfully, Jonathan McKee gives us powerful, poignant, and practical tools to help us win in this delicate and scary parenting arena. Read this and gain hope and confidence.”
—Doug Fields, co-founder of DownloadYouthMinistry.com, youth pastor for thirty years at Saddleback & Mariners Church, speaker, and author of 50+ books including 7 Ways to Be Her Hero
“So many books on this topic are written by people who don’t actually interact with real teenagers. But McKee is a practitioner first, a frontline youth worker with current and regular interactions with Christian teenagers wrestling with the intersection of their faith and their sexuality. Never condescending to teenagers or parents, Jon brings his blunt and honest writing style to a subject I wish more parents were talking about with their teens.”
—Mark Oestreicher, partner, The Youth Cartel and author, A Parent ’ s Guide to Understanding Teenage Brains and several other books for parents
“Jonathan McKee’s book helps us to remember that ‘the talk’ is a myth at best, and a terrible strategy at worst. A lifestyle of preparation, a strategic series of discussions, and a proactive commitment to conversation is what our kids need, and this book will help any parent to walk with their kids in confidence.”
—Chap Clark, professor of youth, family and culture, Fuller Theological Seminary
“Jonathan McKee empowers parents with extreme hope and practical help to connect with their teens about this important subject. The valuable tools found in More Than Just The Talk are both profound and engaging, helping us keep current in our conversations with our kids! This is a powerful resource for parents, mentors, and pastors who value authentic family life and refuse to settle for surface relationships.”
—Bob and Audrey Meisner, bestselling authors, Marriage Under Cover and TV hosts, My New Day
“Our kids have questions about sex—lots of them. But who can they go to for truth? Answer: YOU! Parents have the greatest influence on their children’s lives, and next to leading them to faith in Christ, it’s your job to help them set godly standards for sex and relationships. This book delivers. It takes the stress out of otherwise awkward conversations and shows you how to make ‘the talk’ an ongoing, healthy dialogue.”
—Michael Ross, bestselling author and a former youth editor at Focus on the Family
“Parents must help their teenagers navigate a sexually charged, often misinformed world by establishing regular open dialogue. In More Than Just The Talk Jonathan McKee provides excellent discussion starters and a framework for rooting these conversations of faith and sexuality between parents and their teenagers in their shared faith in Jesus.”
—Adam McLane, partner, The Youth Cartel and coauthor, A Parent ’ s Guide to Understanding Social Media
“Jonathan Mckee is spot on in his new book encouraging parents to become their kids’ go-to for information surrounding the topics of sex.”
—Craig Gross, founder of XXXchurch.com and iParent.tv, author of Touchy Subjects
Contents
Cover 1
Title Page 3
Copyright Page 4
Endorsements 5
Acknowledgments 11
START HERE: Unanswered Questions 13
1. The Loud Voices 21
“Of course you should do it.”
2. The Quiet Voices 37
“Shhhhh! Don’t talk about it!”
3. Opening the Doorways of Communication 51
Creating a comfortable climate for continual conversations
4. The Most Enjoyable Sex 65
Answering the biggest question young people ask: “Why wait?”
5. How Far? 83
Answering the biggest question young Christians ask: “How far can I go?”
6. Your Daughter 93
More than just a sex object
7. Your Son 111
More than just a sex drive
8. Fleeing 123
Knowing when to run
9. The Lure of Porn 135
From Game of Thrones to hard-core addictions
10. Providing Answers About Masturbation 157
The answers to questions they’re too embarrassed to ask
11. Surviving a Blotted Past 171
Finding healing even if it feels too late
12. Tough Questions 183
Answering difficult questions about sex and intimacy
What Now? 209
Notes 211
About the Author 217
Books by Jonathan McKee 218
Back Ad 219
Back Cover 220
Acknowledgments
I don’t think I’ve ever requested as much feedback from friends as I did with this book and its counterpart, Sex Matters , the corresponding book for teens. This subject always catalyzes a wide array of responses, so I solicited the help of numerous friends, other authors, parents, and youth workers to help me ensure a message relevant to today’s parents and then to today’s young people.
Thanks to Brian Berry, Pete Sutton, and my brother Thom, who all poured over these books in detail, offering helpful feedback and tweaks. Thanks to Julie Smith, Sande Quattlebaum, Jennifer Smith, Rick Nier, and Joe and Kerry Vivian. Your insights as parents were extremely helpful. Thanks to so many of my blog readers at JonathanMcKeeWrites.com who sent in common questions they hear from young people. And thanks to the many friends and colleagues in the field of parenting and youth ministry who read this book and offered the kind endorsements you see in the first few pages.
Thanks to my friend and agent Greg Johnson from WordServe for making this project happen. Thanks to Andy, Carra, Ellen, and the entire team at Bethany for your hard work on these books, helping make them practical tools to put in the hands of young people, parents, and youth workers.
And thanks mostly to my family for supporting me through this project, putting up with my endless questions and prodding about the subject. You guys rock!
But anything truly good that appears on these pages is from God, who deserves all the credit. God, thanks for your amazing design of sex and intimacy ! It’s mind-boggling why we constantly mess it up. Thanks for enduring with us when we do. We don’